How do I cope with having an autistic child?

My youngest has been diagnosed since June, with autism.

I am in the beginging stages of this all. I have googled and searched. I have read books on what people think it is, what people think it isn't. And to tell you the truth I find myself going up and down all the time. Changing my ming on what I think it is and what I think its not.

I feel so guilty every single day because I feel there is something more I should be doing. But yet I can not get a straight answer from anyone in the medical feild. Does it ever go away?

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njjmommy46706

Asked by njjmommy46706 at 3:47 AM on Oct. 30, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (14)
  • I'm sure it does. Your child will be just like any other. Just a little different.
    Let me tell you something. My cousin Katy is autistic and she is THE most intelligent, sweet and fun girl to be around. She's just a bit different. Your child may be difficult to deal with at sometimes, but what child isn't? Stop beating yourself up and look at the wonderful little gift God gave you and enjoy it!!
    MarlyeGirl

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 4:20 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

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  • Quit beating yourself up. It's not your fault and there's nothing you can do to change it. It just is, what it is and as long as you always love your son, your doing everything you can for him. I don't have a child with autism and I don't know very much about it. I do have a nephew with autism, and I would never have known if my sister didn't tell me. I actually think she's lucky because he's interested in tinkering with things and playing video games. He doesn't care enough about people to ever give in to peer pressure, and he's most comfortable and happy around people he know's. He just turned 15 this summer, and other people's kids are trying to be "cool" and experiementing with drugs and what not, and he's 100% content and happy at home. His parents don't have to worry about him.
    Lornamay

    Answer by Lornamay at 4:31 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

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  • I know everyone situation is different, but it's not as bad as it seems right now. I would bet that there are groups here on cafe mom specifically for parents of kids with autism and they probably have good advice and moral support. Good luck!
    Lornamay

    Answer by Lornamay at 4:31 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

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  • I hope so. You found out less than a year ago. Give yourself time to work through all the emotions of grief. There are theories but no clear cut cause for autism thusfar. There is alot of hype out there and who trust the govt about much any more. Use the school's resources but don't rely soley on the school to address your child's needs. Find a local support group so you can relate to other parents and get help from those who know where you are right now and have come through it well. Consider reading Jenny McCarthy's book about her son and check out www.autismspeaks.org to find out more about advocating and awareness for autism. You are not alone.
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 6:40 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

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  • I dunno. I never felt guilty about my son having autism. But I do view it differently than most since I have it too.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 8:57 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

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  • It's very confusing when you first enter the world of autism - so many ppl saying it is caused by one thing or another, that if you do this or that it will help, that if you don't do this or that it will help, etc.....IGNORE IT ALL. Every child on the spectrum is very different and each will require a very individualized approach for support & treatment. Only you can figure out what is best for your child at any particular moment in time, so go with your gut, follow your instincts...gather information, but don't let it overwhelm you...use what you think will work for YOUR family, not somebody else's. Trust me, I've BTDT...When your child is doing well, the guilt goes away for a bit, but when your child regresses or someone tries to put down what you are/aren't doing, the mommy guilt comes back...Only you can decide how much you will let it affect you. Hang in there momma!!!!
    mom2aspclboy

    Answer by mom2aspclboy at 12:33 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

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  • Find a DAN (Defeat Autism Now) doctor to aid your child in healing. Join the autism groups on ths site, they're wonderful. The guilt does go away when you get active in doing all that you can for your child and start seeing see some progress. Know that you are not alone and there is hope. We are living it. Good luck.


    http://www.generationrescue.org

    http://www.autism.com/autism/index.htm
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:31 AM on Oct. 31, 2008

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  • I don't know if the guilt goes away or not. I feel guilt every day, but I know its not my fault. The way I deal with it is to tackle it head on. Read as much as I can, be as active as I can, and love him as much as I can.
    I don't hope as much as I used to, but I am loving him for who he is right now.
    jenniferoakes

    Answer by jenniferoakes at 4:05 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

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  • All you have to remember is they take alot of patience and love and sometimes they cant explain why they did something and it isnt excuse. sometimes they honetly dont know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on Apr. 9, 2009

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  • im a young mother of three i was in the same situtation when i first found out my son was diagnose i knew early on he was different cause he wasn't like acting his age i felt guilty for a long time thinking that i ate to much sea food or not eating healthy enough or something. then i googled about autism, trying to find all the information it i got into programs like early intervention, theapy, he started school when he was three so there is alot of help out it doesn't hurt to ask. medical doctors are still trying to understand still, go with your gut u know your child best.
    kmanivanh1983

    Answer by kmanivanh1983 at 10:14 PM on May. 4, 2009

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