Are you facing a home foreclosure?

My husband and I have robbed Peter to pay Paul long enough!!! Two years ago we refinanced our home and decided to refinance our debt into it. Bad mistake. Our mortgage was 50% of our take home pay and we were hoping on future pay raises that just didn't come. With the cost living rising weekly, we are just all out of struggle. We are pursuing a short-sale on our home but we have to be realistic. I feel so bad for our kids who are 5 &3. It breaks my heart and I just need to know there is life after this mess.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Nov. 2, 2008 in Home & Garden

This question is closed and filed in the CafeMom Encyclopedia.
Answers (14)
  • I'm sorry that all this is happening to you and your family. I can't say that I know what you are going through and you can completely disregard my answer if you want. I know that someday I can completely be in your shoes and I hope that I will be able to tell myself what I am going to tell you and really still believe it... remember that you WILL get back on your feet-- hopefully sooner than later. We all make mistakes and the most important thing is that we learn from them. Remember that your family is still together, that God-willing you, your husband and your children are healthy, and that everything has a start and an end. Someday this will be a memory and a story to tell your grandchildren about how you overcame... NEway, Hope this helps. Good Luck!
    bellasrose71008

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 12:24 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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  • The new legislation which took effect Oct. 1 puts pressure on banks to make loan modifications like lowering the interest rate on a mortgage or like re-doing the loan so that the full amount of the loan is reduced to match the ACTUAL market value of the house after housing prices fell so far last year. And it takes longer for a foreclosure to get completed (look up on the internet for whether we're talking about 2 months, 3 months or 6 months - we have been through so many new developments that I can't be sure.) Our mortgage company is Countrywide, and they were just sued in a couple of states for making a particular kind of loan. ... rather than go to trial, they settled and agreed that they would renegotiate loans in that way. Their new program starts Dec. 1st, so we are sitting tight and have our fingers crossed. We went to the California Department of Real Estate for info. There is a lot out there. ... (cont'd)
    waldorfmom

    Answer by waldorfmom at 12:34 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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  • (cont'd) ... And don't worry too much about your children: you and your husband ARE their home. Enjoy how wonderful life is with them every day. The transition is only going to be hard on them insofar as it darkens YOUR spirit. For the 3 yr-old, do what you can to put off the move a little while. The closer to 4 they are when the change happens - or older than 4 is even better -, the better for them it would be. (This has to do with mental orientation, learning ability stuff) Just focus your energy on creating and keeping up holiday traditions, candlelight and singing and favorite stories are far more uplifting to children than a particular street they live on. Check out Waldorf websites for great children's tales (like Little Red Hen) for the young one, and Grimms' fairy tales for children over 4 1/2. ...Set up your new home to be very like your current home and make changes after everyone has settled into the new place.
    waldorfmom

    Answer by waldorfmom at 12:35 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

    Credits: 6931 Level 19
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  • Life is full of lessons and just because you are a grown up with a family does not mean that learning those lessons stop. They continue and everyday you learn something new. I am sorry that your family is facing this, and I know that it has to make you feel bad- but just know that it is okay. Its okay, because mistakes are only human. I know and you know that you didn't start this journey with the image of how it has turned out in mind. You have a much bigger and better picture in mind, but know that even though it is a tough situation, there is always someone out there that is struggling more then you and your family are right now. This is where you must hold on to hope that things will get better, and be grateful of your family.
    BabyBeans0506

    Answer by BabyBeans0506 at 12:42 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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  • Cont.
    I have two little ones as well, and trust me- you are "Mommy", your little ones do not now nor never will they ever see this as a failure from you. Its a learning lesson, and they will have this experience to grow off of in there own way when they get older. For now, do what you have to do and don't let it affect the kids. Even though they are young, they can tell changes in mood and behaviors, especially if you are hurting. Take care and God bless.
    BabyBeans0506

    Answer by BabyBeans0506 at 12:42 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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  • Unfortunately, when many got their mortgages, they could not foresee the future. The banks made risky loans, and people took out mortgages that were at the top of their range, with the hopes that their income would grow. With the economy in a slump, many people are having a hard time right now.

    Try going to your bank and ask them to re-negotiate your mortgage to a more realistic amount, as the price of your home has, in all probability, fallen. If they are willing to do this, and to give you a fixed rate, instead of an adjustable, you might be able to manage staying where you are. Think of it in the bank's viewpoint....is it better to have some interest coming in, or to have a house that they are probably going to loose money on if they are able to re-sell it after foreclosing?

    This might be a good point to bring up, if you decide to go this way. I hope you have good luck, and are able to do this...
    Lizzy321

    Answer by Lizzy321 at 6:50 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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  • We are going to be in foreclosure soon because we are filing bankruptcy. With over $10K in medical bills, DH pay dropping about $30-40K a year it took a hit. Even when I went back to work it was not enough to make up the short fall as I only added another 15K when I went full time.

    They over appraised our home (I should have walked away from refinancing when they said several years ago don't worry I will talk to the appraiser and get the amount where we need to get it financed). So now our home between that and the current market is probably $90K over market value. So selling will not be an opition. I offered short sale but we are with a big bank that wasn't hit yet so they are not willing to budge.

    I hate filing bankruptcy but I have learned and plan to help others once we are stable again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:31 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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  • There is life at foreclosure/bankruptcy but only if you learn from your mistakes. You have to live on cash. That way if money goes down you just readjust the cash flow. We now use only cash but it took hitting rock bottom to learn it.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:34 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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  • There is life after Foreclosure. You will be able to purchase again, but not for 3 years. The rules and guidelines have changed over the last year due to the large foreclosure rate. Have you looked into an FHA loan? FHA loans are offering options to people facing foreclosure at reasonable rates. FHA rates as of Friday were around 7%, not sure what your rate is, but on a home loan of $100,000 the payment is $665.30 without your property taxes and insurance. The foreclosure process takes about 6 months and if you file bankruptcy you don't need to go into to foreclosure. If you think an FHA loan will help and you would like more information please ask. I have been a mortgage processor for 10 years and know that this can be a scary time but there are options available.
    Kari126

    Answer by Kari126 at 10:53 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

    Credits: 1686 Level 14
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  • First of all, seek God and pray for health and better days. Rather than thinking about all the negatives going on in your life at the moment, focus on the positives and how you can make a change for the better. Think of ways and things you can cut down and make extra money. When times are tough, you do need to make a change for the better, whether it be a part time job, a home based business, something to make other sources of income to get out of the bind. Wishing and hoping is definetly not plan B. If would like help in making extra income, please contact me. Sometimes it takes bad moments and desperate measures to turn your life around. Good luck to you.
    BusinessMom123

    Answer by BusinessMom123 at 4:39 PM on Nov. 2, 2008

    Credits: 14 Level 3
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