Is having a relationship online considered cheating?

If you found out that your husband was exchanging dirty emails and watching women on webcam while your sleeping or while he's working would you consider this to be cheating? and what would you do about it?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:46 AM on Nov. 2, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed and filed in the CafeMom Encyclopedia.
Answers (31)
  • yes i would
    myboogiewoogie

    Answer by myboogiewoogie at 9:03 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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  • It's such a fine line really. I think it's cheating but whether I could get past it or not would depend on how close this other person lives, if he's able to actually meet her. I think a lot of women and men like the excitement of the chats that are racey, and it spices up things for sure (I've gotten some pretty good ideas from people I don't even really know about how to make my hubby enjoy our sex life more) but it wasn't like "I'd like to do X with you" It was more like "What do men wish women would do more, how can I do things that he likes that most women don't know about"
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:54 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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  • Is it just random women, like whoever happens to be online at the time? If so, then in my relationship I would not consider it cheating, but I understand how others might. If it was the same woman over and over, then yes I would have a problem with that. If she lived far away we could work through it, but if there was even a whisper about meeting in real life it would be a big deal.
    SamanthaAgain

    Answer by SamanthaAgain at 8:59 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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  • i say yes cause a webcam is involved... and if he didnt tell me about it... i know he likes to screw with people every once in a while too...
    navywifemomkoch

    Answer by navywifemomkoch at 9:05 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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  • I have a fireman friend who does this all the time. He can separate it from his family life so no I don't consider it cheating. It's not like he's going to leave his w over any of the women he plays with or watches online. She just doesn't share his sexual interests (he's a bit kinky for her I guess) so he finds his playmates online. Once playtime is over he returns to his "real ' world and life goes on. imo a lot of men are like that. They can totally separate porn and online playing with women from reality. To them it's no different than some interactive video game. Once it's over they return to their marital obligations and real time relationships. Nothing to worry about.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:28 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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  • Absolutely cheating! I'm not a big Dr. Phil fan, nor do I watch his show, but even he considers this kind of behavior to be "adultery." My husbands ex had online affairs and eventually it DID go somewhere. Eventually, being online isn't enough, so they move to the next risky behavior. I know this opinion won't be the popular, but then again, look at the sources who will tell you this isn't soo bad. If it didn't throw up a red flag for you, then you'd be denying how you really feel and how it makes you feel like he isn't getting his needs met at home. Are you chopped liver? Prob. not, so don't let this make you feel low. This is an addiction, and if you don't think so, do some research. Sorry. Hope you can get this worked out soon!
    lifeasinoit

    Answer by lifeasinoit at 10:01 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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  • Yes I would consider thsi cheating and the marriage would be over because I would never be able to trust him again .
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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  • YES! Look at the meaning of CHEATING: To deceive by trickery; To deprive by trickery; defraud: To act dishonestly; practice fraud - him not telling you he is on these sites is CHEATING. My fiancee stepped over the line when he went from just porn sites, which I am OK with as long as its not a problem (like an everyday deal) to talking on some adultfriendfinder, to a few specific girls, when I was in my early mo. of being prego - I had lost my mojo. He felt completely embarassed about it and admitted it was wrong. Women seem to put up with too much BS, because if it was vise versa I'm sure he would be upset to even irate!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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  • Absolutely.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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  • Webcam? No, that's personal! Indeed that is cheating. It's not like watching porn. This is interactive. Tell him how you feel about it.
    SkyeGirl

    Answer by SkyeGirl at 11:47 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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