What should I do if my kid refuses to do homework?

he says he is stuck but if i stand there he can do it. then other times he doesnt need me at all.but when he refuses it doesnt matter what i threaten he doesnt care he just isnt gong to do it. he is 11 and in the 6th grade

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tangietrull

Asked by tangietrull at 3:48 PM on Nov. 7, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (7)
  • Make a huge deal out of the days that he does it on his own, or does it when asked the first time. Make his favorite treat or dinner or let him choose a movie or activity that is a reward. Next time he doesn't do his homework, he will remember that he was rewarded for doing it. My son had a horrible year last year, in 6th grade. This year he has mostly straight A's and is being rewarded by being able to participate in more activies than last year and knows that it's because he is doing things so well. It was a long road for us, but well worth it to see him succeed and forge his own path. Hopefully,t he road isn't quite so long for you
    Cari14

    Answer by Cari14 at 8:00 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

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  • If he has it in him to do it at all I think he has it in him to do it all the time. Talk to him about what is the best way to assure he gets all of it done and in on time. If he doesn't seem interested, let it go and let his teacher dole out the penalty (talk to the teacher about what the penalty for no homework is). I don't get involved unless I get a note from the teacher about grades. This transfer the responsibility to your preteen. Expect him to do it on his own and to do it well. Do not allow him to manipulate you once you have talked to the teacher about where he is academically.
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 4:49 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

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  • Oh boy, can I relate to this. My 10 yr. old ds is in fourth grade and we're going through the same thing. And not to use it as an excuse, but my ds has ADHS and ODD which it makes it even harder for him to focus which causes him get frustrated, which causes him to get angry which causes him to not want to do his homework which in the end causes "THE HOMEWORK BATTLE". What we did was choose one thing that he really enjoys and used it as a "reward" in "homework contract". We listed what we expect from him which will in turn, allow him to "earn his reward". We just started it this week and so far he's blown it for the entire week/weekend. But at the same time, it's an adjustment I guess you could say so we're going to keep trying until the end of the month and by then, if he's had more good days than bad, we're still using the contract, but will come up with an "additional reward" like an extra half hour of tv or computer time.
    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 5:43 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

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  • As far as not getting involved and let the teacher hand out his punishment, I disagree. IMO, it's both the school(s) and parents responsibility to be on the same page because this is a tough age and even though it is their responsibility, it's also the responsibility of the parents and school to make sure that an appropriate consequence is put into place because this shows them that both the parents and school are working together to get and keep our children on the right track.
    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 5:43 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

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  • Well I take Tv, computer, games etc until I get 5 days of all homework done. Teacher and I email reg. I let my child have things back only on weekends when there is no homework assigned.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:30 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

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  • my 9yo hates homework where as my 8yo loves it. At our house homework is usually done right after school, but if it is nice outside, I let them play until I start dinner and then they have to start homework. I usually let him sit at the table and do it while I am in the same room making dinner in case he has problems or questions. However, there are nights when he just flat out does not want to do it and on those nights I sit with him at the table and we do it together. It only took a couple of times of me sitting there for 2 hours before he stopped refusing and would just get it done. I always check it and make him correct wrong answers. Now I only have to remind him that I am willing to sit there with him for as long as it takes to get it done right, and he gets to it. Take heart, this too shall pass.
    vbongard

    Answer by vbongard at 9:36 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

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  • Same battle in our house too!!! I have 9 & 10 yo boys %th grade man-o-man is the homework piling up!!!2 - 3 hours per night??? My 9yo is bi-polar and sometimes it can get hairy but Ithe teacher and I have reduced some of his quantity working instead on the quality. This helped (write words 2 times vs 5) Taking away priviledges (no going to friends afterschool) and also hoping that these pressures will eventually result in High schoolers that can be more independant.And the ultimate goal of employable, productive adults. Hang in there!!!...Julie
    mom2priceboys

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 11:09 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

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