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What should I do if my stepson wants to call me "Mom"?

My 14 yr old stepson moved in with us fulltime this past summer and has really latched onto me. He has ended all contact with his biological mother and can't wait until the court grants us full custody of him! In the meantime, he has asked my husband (his father) and me "why he can't call me Mom" and neither one of has really figured out what to say to him. He has a mother but feels closer to me. I do discipline as if he was my own and treat as my own and he has accepted that from day one.........am I doing anything wrong by allowing him to call me Mom?


Asked by PJones712 at 7:26 PM on Nov. 24, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (44)
  • You should let him call you that if he wants...it's not doing any harm =] I think it's kinda sweet. I personally wouldn't call my stepmom 'mom', but you must be doing something right if he wants to call you by that name :D

    Answer by caitxrawks at 7:28 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

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  • I think that as long as you are all three comfortable (you, hubby, and son) with him calling you mom, then there is no worries. You are not forcing it on him, he obviously loves you, and he is old enough to know the difference. he knows that you are not his real mom, but he still wants to give you that honor, I say let him.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 7:28 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

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  • I think at the age 14, and given the circumstances he is able to make up his own mind about his biological mom and what kind of relationship he should have with you. I think it's very flattering that he feels comfortable enough to call you Mom, kudos!

    Answer by Slinkee at 7:29 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

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  • My dads girlfriend moved in with us when I was 15 years old. At first I HATED her...I thought she was trying to take the place of my mother who had passes when I was 12. But as the few years went on...I came to appreciate her and love her. Her and my father are no longer together but I still call her mom and see her often. She is still very active in my life and is really excited about me having a baby. I respect her and love her as if she was my own mother. And if your step son respects you and loves you as much as I love my "mum" then you should let him. It feels so good to have someone to call mom!

    Answer by Mrs_williams90 at 7:34 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

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  • I think it's a compliment that he wants to call you mom....accept it as such. My son has a birth father and a "real" father. He calls them both dad and has for many years.

    Answer by WD40 at 7:39 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

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  • That is a huge honor. If you and your husband have nothing against it , than allow it.

    Answer by Mary_CoreysMom at 7:40 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

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  • My step son calls me by my first name, and always has. I've known him since he was 2, and he is now 12. He knows he has the option of calling me by my name, mom, or even step mom, if he wants. It is whatever he is most comfortable with.

    On another note, he calls his step dad, dad, but only because his mother forced him into it. When they first got together he was 2, and that is how she always referred to him, so naturally that's what he started calling him. She did it on purpose just to spite my husband, but what can you do. We decided to take the higher road, and leave it up to my step son to decide what to call me. I think if it's at his request, go ahead and let him call you mom.

    Answer by my2.5boys at 7:44 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

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  • I've always felt that family is a feeling. All that blood is thicker than water crap is just that. Really, if your stepson thinks of you as his mother, and you have a healthy and loving relationship, that should be what really matters. :O)

    Answer by LoriKeet at 8:10 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

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  • If it is what he wants then I would let him call you mom. I do not think there is anything wrong with it and he is old enough to make his own decisions regarding these things.

    Good Luck

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:15 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

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  • You say "Sure" and you give him a hug.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 8:34 PM on Nov. 24, 2008

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