Is it normal to mourn a miscarriage after many years?

I had a miscarriage a year ago December 6 2007. I didn't even know I was pregnant until I was in the hospital. Now that that time is coming around again I feel sad on the inside. Just thinking to myself what could I have done different.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:51 AM on Dec. 2, 2008 in Pregnancy

This question is closed and filed in the CafeMom Encyclopedia.
Answers (28)
  • It is very normal! I had a miscarriage 18 years ago and I still think about her and miss her and how things might be different. And that I should have done/could have done something differently. It is a mothers heart that gives this issue weight. Some of us have a harder time letting it go than others, and you have to go through your own greiving  to be able to put the pain & sadness in its proper place. My heart goes out to you, I hope you do well healing.

    texanmommy

    Answer by texanmommy at 9:15 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

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  • its normal...just think there was a reason behind it..that is what gets me thew...guess what i ended up with twins after a misscarraige
    mama2twins07

    Answer by mama2twins07 at 2:56 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

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  • I'm sorry that happened to you. Sometimes though, if there's something really wrong with the baby then your body gets rid of it. It's nature.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

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  • Not at all. I'm sorry for your loss.
    KatieCrandall

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 3:21 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

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  • Regardless of what might (or might not) have caused your loss, or what you could (or couldn't) do to have MAYBE (but at that early a stage, probably not have) done to prevent it, it's very very very normal to feel sad over it. You lost your child, and to grieve over that around the anniversary of it is very normal!

    I am sorry for your loss!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:31 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

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  • Oh, and I know the internet makes it hard sometimes to understand what people mean in their posts, the reason I wrote my last post the way I did was to try to say to you that it's perfectly normal to feel sad and grieve, but please, try to not beat yourself up emotionally or second guess yourself about everything - you didn't know you were pg, you don't know why your body miscarried, it's a sad thing, but please don't beat yourself up over why :-(
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:34 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

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  • Yeah I'd its normal to be sad over that. And most of the time there is nothing you can do to prevent a misscariage. Sorry for what your going through.
    BabyGsMaMa13

    Answer by BabyGsMaMa13 at 4:38 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

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  • I had a misscarriage when I was 16 around teh time of my b-day which is on Dec. 22nd and I still grieve about it and i do feel very horrbile that I had one, I'm going to be 21 and it still hurts but all things happen for a reason even if the situation that you're in is a very horrilbe reason to have a loss like that. Idk if that makes sense, but anyway sorry for your loss and hope you can get through it
    persephonekore

    Answer by persephonekore at 4:40 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

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  • I think that it is more than okay! I had a miscarriage 7 years ago (December 17th) and I still dwell on it sometimes, but I remain thankful for the babies that I do have. We are women, and we have tender hearts. Nothing wrong with that sweetie.
    mommybush

    Answer by mommybush at 5:51 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

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  • I had a miscarriage 2 years ago. I still grieve the loss, especially around the anniversary (October 18, 2006). It is absolutely normal. I am so sorry for your loss!
    Jakesmom8302

    Answer by Jakesmom8302 at 6:31 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

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