How can I deal with my emotional pain and fear after a miscarriage?


Asked by fishybratt at 7:13 PM on Dec. 17, 2008 in Pregnancy

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Answers (10)
  • I'm sorry you had a miscarriage. I've never had one personally, but I have a friend who had one at 21 weeks and it really was just devastating.
    I really think you'll have to be brave and keep trying. There is nothing you can do about that baby- but think of the babies that might be. And I know it's hard to think of things this way, but maybe it's your next baby who is really meant to come into the world, and wouldn't have if the first would have.
    I always think of it that way: my sister had one early on, and a couple months later became pregnant with my niece. I can't imagine no Addesyn.
    I really think you just have to keep trying. Hope this is helpful.

    Answer by sfwilson at 7:19 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

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  • hugs . i know this pain. heres another hug for you. take a little time. maybe you will be ready soon.

    Answer by RoseWall at 7:23 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

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  • Sweetie I feel for you, I had a miscarriage in Sept. and I was 3 months. It still bothers me, I often sit and think about how far along i would be and I think how old it would be next yr and such, My mother also had one with her first and she told me to this day she still thinks about it and how old it would be and what it would be doing....So i dont think the pain will ever go away...I just think time eases the pain....Me and my hubby are getting ready to start trying again...But all I can do it put it in Gods hands....Good luck to you my dear....

    Answer by ToberzMama at 7:24 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

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  • Im sorry to hear that. I had a miscarige 5 years ago. It hurt my hubby and I a lot. We have two kids now. At times I think about how would my baby be like if i had never had a miscarrige. Take some time for yourself to think and belive that it wasnt ment to be. God does this for a reason and we need to accept it. dont worry im sure u will have kids just make sure you are ready to get pregnant again and try to leave the past behind. i now its hard but when u have a baby u wont think about it much.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

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  • I dont think it ever stops hurting. You will be able to tollerate some time. I know it can be scary, but just becuase you had one miscarriage doesnt mean you will have another one. Dont want to drudge up more feelings, but do they know why it happend? If so, then if you get pg again, they may do things to try to prevent it. Good luck.

    Answer by duckey060504 at 9:32 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

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  • I know how you are feeling. I have had six miscarriages/still born and the pain never goes away. The thought is always there and two of them were when i was six months pregnant. Make sure you find a really good OB doctor and go visit with them before getting pregnant. I did it with this one and I am almost 30 weeks. I have been on bed rest and have taken several different types of medication to make sure the pregnancy was a success. Just try not to dwell on it even though I know how difficult it is. Make sure you take the time you need to heal before getting pregnant again. Good luck and I wish you well.

    Answer by JD08 at 9:35 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

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  • I have had 3. The pain does not go away for me. you just learn to deal with it. If I think about it ever it still gets me teary eyed. After my first a lady I work with told me she had 3 before her first child. She was in tears telling me about it. her oldest is 16 so its been at least 16 years since her first. What helps me is thinking of all the good things I have in my life now. I also think of all the good people in heaven that are taking care of my babies. I know alot of folks up there and I know sometimes we will be with our babies. Don't try again until you are ready. It takes time to heal emotionally and physically. You will know when you are ready.

    Answer by lisab7982 at 10:34 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

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  • I too know what it feels like to loose one and feel it hard to continue trying. Just take a deep breath and go for it

    Answer by jazmya_mom at 10:44 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

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  • I have never experienced one myself but I imagine that the pain does not ever go away completely. As hard as it might be I would not let that stop you from trying again. Although you can not replace a child that you have lost, once you hold a baby in your arms it might make it hurt a little less and everything that you have gone through emotionally and physically worth it at the end.

    Answer by maddiemygirl at 12:08 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

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  • I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you are feeling right now. The pain never does go away. At least it hasn't for me. I have been pregnant 5 times with one living child. My latest loss was at 23 weeks. The pain from that loss, is so unbearable. It has only been 4 months and I feel so empty. Worst of all I want to try to conceive again but my husband does not want to try. Most woman don't have reoccurring pregnancy losses. Mine were due to a blood clotting disorder not diagnosed until I lost my little girl this past summer. Good luck to you. Blessings and miracles.

    Answer by mrsengquist at 12:46 AM on Dec. 22, 2008

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