Should I spank my 1 1/2-year-old?

I started by telling him no, but it seemed like all I was doing was saying no and it was not working! I smack his leg or hand and it only works half the time. He doesn't cry when I spank him, he just holds his leg and gives me a dirty look. And now he is starting to hit us! I have not tryed time out yet, I thought he might be too young to stay in one place for even a minute. I didn't have to spank my older child, he just listened. I am starting to think it is me and not my baby. Maybe I am loosing my patience.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Dec. 28, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed and filed in the CafeMom Encyclopedia.
Answers (32)
  • It is you, and not your child.
    Simply saying "no" is meaningless.
    Change your words "no ___, but you can have/do ___". It gives him the illusion of having a choice. All a child that age is interested in is exploring and testing boundaries... So give him boundaries he can roam in.
    Child proofing does wonders, too- if you don't have things around that you're afraid to get broken, then you have fewer things to say no about.
    Liyoness

    Answer by Liyoness at 4:33 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

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  • I would never spank my daughter. Try rewards... like his favorite candy or something... if you sit down i'll give you some juice but you have to sit. Hes still young so don't stress to much but you have to put him hittig you to a stop cuz thats not a fun one to break. Be sure you never laugh at him when hes doing something you don't want him to do. Don't give him the option to try again right away... if he throws a toy at you don't say no and give it back... say no and put it up for 20 mins or so. Things like that. And act like you don't care when he gets upset about these things... don't notice his reactions or react to his reactions unless you see that his reaction to what you said or did is good.
    dtetz

    Answer by dtetz at 10:36 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

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  • I have used spanking with my daughter, but very, very sparingly. My daughter is around the same age as your son. With her it really works though, now all I have to do when she doesn't listen is ask her if she needs a spank and that's usually enough to deter her from whatever she is doing. I think each child is different though and it doesn't sound like spanking is the best way to get through to your son.

    0Jenna0

    Answer by 0Jenna0 at 10:51 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

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  • when my son was that age, i did give him time out, and it worked. yes he is too young to just sit there on his own. what i did was sit him down and then sit in front of him and hold his hands in his lap for 1 1/2 mins (for his age). he would cry the whole time, but it worked. and really, 1 1/2 mins of crying is not much. now usually if i threaton a time out, he will listen.
    marci2babies

    Answer by marci2babies at 11:30 AM on Dec. 28, 2008

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  • I would try and avoid spanking. I find boys are more aggressive in nature anyway and at this age it might be difficult for him to understand the different between hitting which is what he is doing and spanking. I would definately try time outs. He may not understand at this point the purpose of the time out but if he explain it to him after the time out he will eventually start to grasp the idea. Each child is different and I think it is a matter of trial and error to determine what works for your. Good Luck
    maddiemygirl

    Answer by maddiemygirl at 12:24 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

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  • Time out.

    We started time outs as soon as they were mobile (modified, because they were only 6 months!)

    Now...if they are told to do something and refuse...they stand in time out until they chose to do what they were told. (or until they will leave the "no" item alone) If they don't do what they're told, or they go back to the "no" thing...right back in time out and when they say they're ready to behave..."well, I'm not ready yet" and they stand a bit longer (depends on the age lol)....
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 12:31 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

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  • i personally wouldnt beat my child (not saying that you do) but i would smack him on the hand occassionally and not to the point where he cries because it hurts. if he does cry its because hes scared or startled that i didnt let him do whatever he wanted. i dont see anything wrong wit a little spanking here or there but if the kid really just isnt listening maybe its not a good idea to keep hitting if the child is going to do it all the time. its a good idea to get to their level and talk with them. my son is only 11 months and some people think its ridiculous that i try to talk and reason with him because they think he doesnt understand but atleast he gets the concept until he can really comprehend whats going on. works for me!
    lydiamama

    Answer by lydiamama at 12:50 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

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  • number one rule dont spank if you dont want them to hit. children may think of spanking as you hitting or smacking them, espescially if its not on the bottom, so they think its okay to do it to you when they are mad because you do it when you are mad. i personally was spanked ALOT when i was a kid and i think it really had a permanent affect on me emotionally. try putting him in a time out , and telling him why hes there. if he gets out of time out just put him back till he stays and try to stay calm. when you come back after 5-10 mins tell him you love him and give him a hug. ive deen this on supernanny and it seems to really help. hope things get better!
    chloesmommy4

    Answer by chloesmommy4 at 12:56 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

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  • I'm not against spanking, but when the kid is wearing a diaper, they don't even feel it.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 1:33 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

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  • You shouldn't spank your toddler.
    babycakes254

    Answer by babycakes254 at 1:36 PM on Dec. 28, 2008

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