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depression

Posted by on May. 12, 2010 at 12:32 AM
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Ok so I just need to vent a lil.  Me and my hubby have been married for almsot 2 years!!  We ahve been trying to have a bby for the longest time even b4 we were married!!  We got a lil boy and lost him!!  That was the hardest thing to do is have a bby and to know that he wont be going home with you!!  I miss Riley so bad!!  I whent through my mothers day crying my eyes out b/c I wanted my bby so bad!!  I played with my freinds bbys and that right now only seems to make me want me son more than ever!!  Well on mothers day one of my freinds made a comment that mothers day will be alot better when I get to be a mommy and that made me feel like I faled as a mommy to RIley!!!  Well then a couple of the moms in my niehgbor hood had what they called a bby party and were all standing out side talking and holding the bbys and I cried b/c I knew that me and riley should have been out there with them!! I play with my 2 friends bbys and I cry at night b/c it seems everything in the workd is stopping me from being a mommy!!!  My hubby came home a month ago for RR and we tried but I didnt realy think of anything till I started this discharge that goes from really light bleeding to brown discharge and sill no period that is over a month late!!  If you think you  might know please say something!!  I just feel like Im in a place I dont belong!!  Why would GOD give me all these froends that have kids knowing that I want to be a mommy more than anything but yet he took away the only on that I had!!!  I felel bad when my hubby gets his hopes up and I have to tell him that Im not it makes me feel like a bad wife that I cant give my hubby the kids that he wants!!!  Srry i know that this is long I just needed to vent and dont realy have anyone to tell it to!!!!  Well thanks!!

by on May. 12, 2010 at 12:32 AM
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Replies (1-2):
candcsmom2008
by Group Owner on May. 13, 2010 at 3:27 PM

I am so very sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. As far as the spotting and such maybe a hormeone imbalance.. GL MOMMA

shell1m
by Group Admin on May. 13, 2010 at 7:32 PM

oh mama, I'm so sorry you had to go through that.  :(  I have two in heaven but I will never know the pain of holding them and not taking them home, I can't even imagine what you are going through.  I wish I had words to make you feel better, but I don't.  I can only tell you that you are able to vent here all you need/want to and we will give you all the support we can and be here for you. 

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