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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

How do you connect with your teen son ???

Posted by on Nov. 2, 2009 at 8:57 PM
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I'm a single mom raising a 14 year old son. I was hoping we could share ideas of what to do about sharing quality mom and son time together ? It was so easy when they were children. There were so many fun things to do together, but what about now ? Let's share ideas please:

 

by on Nov. 2, 2009 at 8:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
specialwingz
by Bronze Member on Nov. 2, 2009 at 9:06 PM
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Well, that's a million dollar question!  LOL.  But, seriously - I have 17 yo twin boys.  So, I know what you're going through.  Unlike girls, where you can talk makeup and fashion - boys are a bigger challenge.  What is he interested in?  My guys are into video games.  I don't play them with them.  But, I do engage in conversations with them about their various games.  In all reality, I couldn't care less.   But, it is conversation. 

Also, I make sure we eat dinner at the table together.  This is where we talk about what went on throughout our day.  We talk about things they are doing in their classes.  This has sparked some really intellectual conversations!  You'd be surprised by some of their knowledge and opinions.  You'll be amazed at how much you'll find you have in common on many levels.

Then, there's always movies.  We have movie night on the weekends.  We take turns choosing the movies.  And, sometimes we talk about them when they're over, depending on what they're about.

These are just a few ideas that work in our house.  Hope they help.  Good luck!

myfoursonsks
by on Nov. 2, 2009 at 9:06 PM
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I do really crazy off the wall things and my kids love it.  One night, I woke my 14 year old up in the middle of the night.  We made a taco bell run at like 2am and then went to Dunkin' Donuts to get a doughnut for dessert.  That was almost 3 years ago and he still doesn't stop talking about it.  It is one of his best memories.  Preteen and teens boys seem to really like you to do the things they don't expect.  They enjoy for it to be all about them and something different.

I have 4 boys, so I have to always work on spending time with just them and make it about them only.  We talk while we are out doing things.  I let them run the conversation and they always seem to get into things that we otherwise wouldn't talk about because it is their special moment and they enjoy the opportunity.

For us, things that get us alone in a car and standing in line somewhere really give us a chance to talk.  We may go to something where a movie or book releases at midnight.  We make sure we camp out or are the first ones in line and we just sit and chat and enjoy the time together.

chuggin_along
by on Nov. 2, 2009 at 11:19 PM

I have a 13 yo boy.  He'll be 14 in 3 weeks.  (OMG!!!!!!  Can legally drive in my state @ 14!!!) Anyway, I pick him up from school first, so we always talk about his day.  I always ask questions about stuff I don't expect him to answer.  (like girls and stuff)  But he knows I care and sometimes he surprises me and answers the question.  :)  My 10 yo son likes to play the worst and best thing of the day at dinner.  You go arond the table and everybody has to say the worst thing that happened that day and the best thing that happened that day.  I learn things that way, too.   We play football or wrestle.  Although, he is now taller than me and a little to rough sometimes.  Oh, well.  I just tell him its time to hang it up.   I have taken him out in the truck a couple of times.  He thinks thats cool, but it freaks him out a bit.  He loves cars, so we talk about that.  He asks me to watch him play guitar hero, and I'll do that sometimes.  Its tough, because besides my 10 and 13 yo sons, I also have an 8 month old son. 

aunt_shel
by on Nov. 4, 2009 at 12:26 AM

Both of my boys are teenagers. I try to spend sometime talking to them everyday. We have to drive to and from some sort of ball practice all of the time so that gives us time to talk. We will cook together or watch a movie. I help them with their homework and we discuss what is going on at school. Sometimes they just wanna hang out and do nothing so we do that too. It is just together time that counts. Do whatever comes to mind. 

Wyndi
by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 9:38 AM

family games day. Yeah we take one day a month and just play games all day.

We talk about  dreams and how to make them come true. My 15 yr old DS' dream is to attend Harvard Law School.  My 17 yr old DD wants to become a nurse and has found a way to pay for it ~ NROTC~ So we've spoken to a recruiter and once she takes the SAT's and ACT this year they want to see them.  She wants to attend either U of Florida or Annapolis. But U of Florida has the nursing program she really likes.

I just sit and listen and offer suggestions on how they can accomplish their goals.

On rotating Sundays I take one of them with me to go run errands. That leaves the other to spend time with Dad. My kids grumble some but once we get going we discuss music, fashion, boys / girls, movies, books, video games.

 

Formernavybrat, former navywife, And Future navyMom.

TiaraMom19
by on Nov. 13, 2009 at 9:06 AM

Hi,I know how you feel.My son is 17.I used to be number one...now it seems my DH is in the spotlight.Ive been trying to figure out how to connect with my ds more.I just try to be there for him.When he wants to talk im all ears...lol

TIA

Ewadun
by on Nov. 13, 2009 at 10:43 AM

Unfortunately, my 15 year old son was very stubborn and held his cards close. I'd gotten him a Big Brother, from the Big Brother/Big Sister Foundation, and his Big would pick him up every other weekend and they'd go places. I also got a male counselor who determined that my son was suicidal. My son was normally a honor roll student until his grades plummeted and he started running away from home. He also began lying to me and causing extensive apartment damages. I then called "Not My Child" and made arrangements for him to spend Thanksgiving in a runaway teen shelter program. Finally I  made the difficult decision to release him to the  custody to his Dad in another state. To my surprise, he's doing much better and we actually have normal conversations. My husband has gotten him more involved in church and working, as his assistant, as the church's janitor.

Each kid is different. I had no problems with my oldest son nor my youngest child, a girl.

RAZmom88
by on Nov. 14, 2009 at 2:31 PM

I talk to them about the things they like.  My DS 15, is football crazy!   I ask him questions ( I know very little about the sport) about the score who his fav team is.  You have to remember to not become annoying.  Also if I see a movie or something I think we could do together I invite him to go with me.  Usually if  I agree to pay for the night out he agrees to go with me.

My DS 18, is a little harder.  I ask him about college, his GF things that are of interest to him.  Just show them you are interested and let them share!!!

Minecraftmom
by on Aug. 13, 2013 at 5:52 PM
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I also am a single mom to a teenage boy, mine is 13...He is into video games, and well honestly I dont get into them, but I do make it a point to sit in the game room with him a little each day, as he tells me all he is doing, and I can see how excited he gets.  We also have date nights, movies, dinner, or maybe taking him shopping for something hes wanted.  The main thing, is spending quality time with him, his dad isn't around alot, so I try to make sure I am in his business to a certain degree.  I give him his privacy, but as a parent in a world of craziness, we need to take an interest in what our kids are doing, and who they are talking to, especially when they play online games.  I have alot of filters on our internet, so he cant get onto alot of junk sights, and I have set it up so that I can see what sights hes going to.  I know it seems hard with Moms and Boys, but we do have a bond that even fathers and sons can not have.  Im also looking for other activities we can do together.

FindersKeepers
by on Aug. 13, 2013 at 7:31 PM

Join in some of HIS interests...  I watch sports, Discovery shows and History chanel with him.   Playing games, card games, sports.    I let him drive.  Now that he is taller than me I let him help me with things that are heavy or up high.  He talks to me best in the car. 

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