Stress causing late/delayed bedtimes and other issues

[Mavieboy]

My son is 11 and has some type of stress which i can't figure out exactly what is stressing him.  Something is bothering him, but he either is not able to say what it is, he may not even understand what it is.  It is now causing problems in school (too much socializing, not finishing his work) and he can't sit still.  He has to drum his fingers or must have some part of his body moving.  It is not ADHD per his doctor but it must be anxiety related.  He can't even get to bed on time no matter how much my husband and I try to get him upstairs and in bed by 10.  Not going to bed is the worst because then he doesn't get sleep and is cranky in the morning.  Surprisingly he is able to make the bus every morning on time.  Any advice on how to get him to open up or figure out what is stressing him?  He won't open up to us.  Has anyone ever experienced this before with their son or daughter?  Help!

[michel30014]

I'm not sure what could be stressing a boy of 11 yrs of age.  You may want to check with the school and his teachers to see if someone at school is bothering him.  Maybe a bully or someone who is being aggressive either at school, on the bus, etc. 

Does he have any after school activities? New friends???? Often times, new friends can be the cause.  My daughter has her issues and I discovered that one of her newer friends has been "pretending" to be other people ONLINE!!!  This girl has since come forward and admitted what she did and apologized but new friends can sometimes be the cause.  You can't watch your child every minute and don't always know what goes on between your child and their friends. 

Is your child involved in any activities that you could monitor or check with people that may know something.  Try to think every angle where your chlld interacts with people.  Something is definitely up.   I understand where you are coming from, my daughter has her issues but I believe we got to the heart of the matter this same way.  Contacted people, talked to friends, school, teachers as much as possible.  Just stay strong and know that you can do this!!!

[2protectivemom]

Being that you mentioned he is fidgety, and has trouble sleeping, I am wondering if it could have something to do with his diet.  Maybe too much caffeine, sugar, or even foods like white breads and pastas that turn to sugar.  I would talk to teachers and coaches and make sure that nothing else is going on but personally I would tend to lean towards foods/drinks.  It could even be a food allergy or sensitivity, I know things like red dye (such as in koolaid, jello) can cause these symptoms. 

[atlmom2]

My dd has been stress the last few weeks because this week she has a speech and an oral presentation in Spanish and she Spanish had to be memorized.  She had to give it today and she was super stressed out.  I hope it went ok.  She hates to speak in front of people, let alone memorize 7 paragraphs in Spanish!!!

[Momforhealth]

Boys never talk.  Well that is until you are walking out the door or about to get into something else where you would not be able to talk with them.  So be aware of clues when he may be trying to talk to you and see if you can stop to hear him out.  I noticed mine will close up when I press him to talk to me.  So I sometimes just blurt out something wise if I can't get through......figure its better than nothing..lol

Once and a while I can get my kids to do yoga with me before bed.  It is really relaxing and kinda smooths out stress or thoughts that kinda cause stress.  It may be enough for him to open up some.  ?? 

I also go pick up my teen for lunch sometimes. Its just me and him hanging out.  He has started opening up more.  It could just be puberty starting.??