Okay so she is 14yr, a strait A student, involved in our youth group in church, & does very well in school... however, I am wondering if I am being to hard on expection of her going to bed by 10pm w/o saying anything... also, she is to start her chore (kitchen duty) by 7:30pm...
I am getting fustrated cause I'm not sure if I should have to consistantly remind her of 'time to do your chore' or say 'it's time for bed' every night. Okay so not everynight, but most nights I find myself having to remind or ask those two things to be done. Is there something I could be doing so that I don't have to ask this? What about if I want to go to bed before 10pm? Do I need to be having her go to bed when I do?
Please any advice or what-not would be apreshated here... What do I do? Take things away until she can do it on her own? Suck it up & realize I'm the parent so it's my job to keep on her about it? I would love to hear from other parents on this matter.... thank you!
My 13 year old goes to bed at 11:00. I don't have to remind him when it's time (I do give him a 5 minute grace period) and I know that I can go to bed before him and he'll still go to bed when he's supposed. He knows he'll be in trouble if I get up and see him still awake.
He also knows that if he gives me problems getting up in the morning, even one time, then his bedtime will go back to 10:00 which he really doesn't want.
They're old enough to be responsible for certain things...like their bedtimes. If they abuse the privilege of staying up late then it should get taken away from them.
Since she's only 14 and you have time to nip this behavior in the bud, here's what I'd suggest (and something I wish I had done with my older 2 kids): Create a schedule that identifies specifics (such as chores, bed times, phone-calls-allowed times, etc.) that the 2 of you agree on, and let HER be responsible for adhering to it.
Once you get her "buy-in" and she knows that she -- alone -- is responsible for adhering to the items listed on the schedule, she will gain a sense of responsibility and take pride in her ability to manage herself accordingly. Give her a "reward" if you want to for successfully adhering to the schedule, although it's not necessary.
Not only will this help HER to feel like an accomplished young adult, it will also relieve you of the "nagging" responsibility we moms tend to take on ourselves.
Hope it works!
Great advice, mind if I use it too?
Quoting Faith123:
Since she's only 14 and you have time to nip this behavior in the bud, here's what I'd suggest (and something I wish I had done with my older 2 kids): Create a schedule that identifies specifics (such as chores, bed times, phone-calls-allowed times, etc.) that the 2 of you agree on, and let HER be responsible for adhering to it.
Once you get her "buy-in" and she knows that she -- alone -- is responsible for adhering to the items listed on the schedule, she will gain a sense of responsibility and take pride in her ability to manage herself accordingly. Give her a "reward" if you want to for successfully adhering to the schedule, although it's not necessary.
Not only will this help HER to feel like an accomplished young adult, it will also relieve you of the "nagging" responsibility we moms tend to take on ourselves.
Hope it works!
Am I being unreasonable?? (long)
Really pissed because...
- twindelight
on Apr. 14, 2010 at 3:53 PM