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If You Caught Your Teen Drinking or Doing Drugs...

Posted by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 4:30 PM
  • 22 Replies

 margarita time What would you say and do if you found out that your teen was drinking alchohol or smoking pot or doing some other drugs, whether if was allegedly one time or more?

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 4:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Momof5Teens67
by on Jun. 4, 2010 at 12:01 AM

 boo lol it looks like everyone is either scared of touching this one OR isnt sure what they would do OR doesnt even want to think about it? 

if you already have had to deal with this with your kids what did you do and did it help?

you might be able to help other moms with teens who haven't yet..

 I PROMISE TO SHARE MY ANSWER IN THE NEXT DAY OR TWO, OK? ; ) yes it happened to us..

MargieMc1974
by on Jun. 4, 2010 at 8:21 AM

Well I'm not a big drinker these days although I do enjoy wine with dinner or if I'm out with friends.  My kids have always been allowed a sip here and there and now they will on occasion have a glass of wine with me.  I've tried to take the mystery out of drinking and neither of my kids has gone to the weekend drinking parties that all their friends go to.  In my state and some others it is legal for children to drink with their parents - yes even at restaurants and bars.  Smoking cigs has been more of an issue here but I smoke so I'm not the best role model.

atlmom2
by Susie on Jun. 4, 2010 at 8:33 AM

They wouldn't be going out at all if they did drugs, even the 19 year old.  Now I know the 19 year old has had a couple drinks when she has visited college with her friends.  She has tasted some with us around and doesn't like it.  In Wisconsin you can give your child drinks in your home, legally at any age.  Well, I guess not super young but its legal here.  Drugs are unexceptable, always. 

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Jun. 4, 2010 at 8:48 AM

I grew up in a house where I was allowed to drink as a teen. My mom said she would rather we drink there and not be drinking and driving. I don't have the same philosophy.

My hubby and I rarely drink. We may have an occasional beverage but we did all our partying when we were younger. Part of the reason I stopped was because alcoholism runs on my moms side of my family. I wanted to break that cycle for my kids.

My dd has been caught drinking with her friends before. Last summer she was at her then boyfriend's house and my hubby picked her and her friend up and knew they were drinking but he didn't do or say anything about it to them. He told me so I could take care of it. I talked to them about it and told them they were lucky I didn't pick them up because I would have stopped at the state police barricks on our way home. She was not allowed to go anywhere the next weekend. That didn't work b/c the next time she was at the boyfriend's house they drank again. She was not allowed at the boyfriend's house anymore. Thankfully they broke up.

She told me she has tried pot but doesn't smoke it now. I believe her when she says she's not into drugs b/c she has a friend who does drugs when she (her friend) hangs out with particular person and my dd gets very upset with her and usually ends up getting into a fight.


FairyRed
by on Jun. 4, 2010 at 9:23 AM

My DD drinks and smokes, although she knows the dangers and knows that I dont approve, but stubborn child will do what she wants...I tried restricting her friends, taking away acces to friends, changed schools, even sent her to her fathers in another state..none did any good, she hooked up w new kids that did the same. So I told her okay, do it but, do it right..no riding w drunk friends...call me, have friends that will watch out for each other, no smoking/drinking at school and if/when cops get involved she will suffer the consequences, we have discussed those consequences so she is well aware of them.

singleplus3
by on Jun. 4, 2010 at 10:45 AM

We really cant do much because if your teen has been diagnosis with ADHD or Depression the doctors give them a prescription and the medicine is illegal. And we don't take the time out to discuss this. But when it comes on the news or some ones child has been taken to the hospital thats when we want to talk. 

So it shouldn't just stop and just the obvious. Cause when we were kids we were told not to take anything with out permission but now a days schools do allow any kind of medicine in.

 

Angiebooboo
by on Jun. 4, 2010 at 11:28 AM

I did in march, I am glad he got caught, now he is on probation, and has to pay his fine, he's a good kid and now he is going to have a second chance with a 7411, which means after probation his record is clean.

Angiebooboo
by on Jun. 4, 2010 at 11:33 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Momof5Teens67:

 boo lol it looks like everyone is either scared of touching this one OR isnt sure what they would do OR doesnt even want to think about it? 

if you already have had to deal with this with your kids what did you do and did it help?

you might be able to help other moms with teens who haven't yet..

 I PROMISE TO SHARE MY ANSWER IN THE NEXT DAY OR TWO, OK? ; ) yes it happened to us..

Anyone with a lot of kids know that teens are teens, and yes they all try it or do it, I was heart broken because I do so much with my kids, and for my kids, and yes I do practace what I preach, my kids have a good home here, and I value my kids, I Do remember what it was like when I was a teen , you name it I did it, and I came from a good home.

Momof5Teens67
by on Jun. 4, 2010 at 5:19 PM

 margarita time I only have a dessert like cocktail like a mudslide or a chocolate cherry martini occasionally .. less than once a month/to several months when i go out to eat w/ my husband on a date or on a holiday but never have more than one or two. My husband drinks gourmet/imported beer but he too never has more than one most nights and rarely has up to 2/3. never ever gets drunk and neither of us smoke.

We have let our kids have SIPS of drinks on holidays, for example they wanted to taste the butterscotch schapps but they never were given a whole drink.

We watched my mom in law die young right to her last breaths from smoking and a few of my kids have asthma so we have strong feelings about smoking cigarettes for that reason.

My kids have some major wide spread ALCOHOLISM on both sides of their family and it can be heriditary or raise their risks of it so we explained alcohol isnt bad, but that it should not be used to get buzzed or drunk that the way dad and i use it is perfectly appropriate otherwise it is being used as a liquid drug.

Oldest son 23 has never gotten drunk and drinks now the way we do, little bits occasionally, the same with my 21 yr old daughter. 15 yr old has never had more than a sip.

all of them HATE cigarettes and never were tempted and told their friends who smoke that smoking is stupid.

screamingBUT... our two younger daughters when they were about 15 and 16 took advantage of our trust of them and were not only drinking with their friends but gettng flat on their faces drunk over and over and making other poor choices while they were at it, the younger one tried pot but ddnt like it thank goodness and the older one got mad at her for trying it none of the other kids ever were intereted in trying drugs of any kind.

we trust our kids and let them hang out with kids who do things wrong and go to parties and the only way they ruin that is by breaking that trust and also if they tell on themselves they have much less consequences than if they get caught. so the two girls did a confession night and told us both everything in details about their drinking binges during that summer and i broke down in tears crying both bc i was hurt and sad and bc it bothered me deeply just thinking of WHAT COULD HAVE GONE WRONG OR HAPPENED to eithe of them while flat out wastted, alcohol poisoning, rape, car accidents etc.

they cried too and said they didnt want to do that anymore and they wanted us to make it harder on them to do so, so we said no parties for the rest of the year and that when they did start going again we would buy a breathalyzer on amazon and they would be subjected to surprise random breathalyzer tests and they said thank you that way we can tell our friends our parents have a breathalyzer there is no way we can drink and then they giggled. we said if they ever gave us reason to worry about drugs again, that she would be subjected to random at home drug tests ... we did one once and she passed so we didnt do anohter.

we never bought the breathalyzer bc neither girl ever chose to go to a party again after that on her own even after we said they could. my middle daughters boyfriend said he quit drinking too so it would be easier and fair for my daughter. awww.

i am happy with how we handled it and i am thankful the girls trusted us enough to tell on themselves otherwise i might not have found out unless something bad happend and that just gives me chills, plus it made me sad they could have become alcoholics.

i am glad that is over. whew.

 

LisaAnne1970
by on Jun. 4, 2010 at 5:27 PM

There are so many things that you could do. This is a touchy situation. On the one hand, it is illegal and you would want to discuss that with your teen. But as I grew up and my parents thought that learning is by experiencing. One time my father thought that my brother was smoking, so he made not only my brother but also myself smoke a pack of cigarettes, and several cigars. Believe me, I didn't smoke until after I was far away from him and old enough to do so ( I since quite). I believe that it was wrong, but sometime you have to teach by letting them experience it, but with you in attendance.

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