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Remember 1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base? UGH!!!!!

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:56 AM
  • 17 Replies

My 17 year old daughter has been seeing an 18 year old for 6 months now; this is the first SERIOUS relationship for both of them. 


A few months ago, I sensed they were moving onto 2nd base and  was concerned where it would stop.  I spoke to them separately regarding boundaries, God's plan for them to wiat until marriage, my wish for them to wait until after college before reaching "home run."   They both took it quite well and agreed they were not ready for the consequences of  pregnancy, child rearing, etc.  I was relieved that my daughter put a stop to the intimate touching  and kept things at kissing, hand holding, hugging. I have to admit I was feeling quite proud of my influence.  :)


However, apparently my influence was short lived.  I have learned, don't ask me how, but I have learned that they are now at or close to 2nd base with 3rd base coming up fast.  *sigh  What is more disturbing to me is that daughter seems to be the aggressor in all of this. *double sigh  And, all of this is happening in our house when I am home!!!  *SIGH  They are not allowed in her bedroom and must stay in public areas so this is happening while they are "watching" movies or playing video games in the family room when the younger kids are not around.


So, my question to all you wise moms of teens out there:  What is a mom to do?  Do I have another "chat" with the love birds? or Do I sit idly by and let the games begin?  What would you do?

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Momof5Teens67
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:11 AM

 Well you may not want MY opinion lol... which is fine if you don't. : ) HUGS

She is going to be a grown adult legally at 18 anyway. 

ALso if she WANTS to do this she is going to find a way, naturally you can make your reasoning heard but she probably already knows your opinions on it since you were good about sharing with her which is good.  At her age, she has her OWN opinions though which may or may not be the same as yours. You can make it as inconvenient for them to do things as possible of course! BUT If they have their minds made up they WILL find a time and place. My mom was VERY VERY strict and I still did.

I know you talked to her about abstinence and that is GOOD... I hope you got a chance to talk to her about protecting herself and condoms etc JUST In case she finds it too hard to not do this?

amberdy
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:12 AM

I would talk to my daughter again, but honestly I don't know that there is any way for you to stop it unless you are with them, watching them everytime they are together.  But, if your daughter is 17 and has only been to "2nd base", you did a good job.

-Jessica
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:16 AM

i would have a chat with her again, if she doesnt listen then i would tell her she can not see the boy anymore unless she is willing to abid by the rules....idk i hope this help some

GL

MrsTT
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:16 AM

HMMMMMM this is a hard one .. my 17 yr old is not dating yet .. but I think maybe you need to have a talk with both of them at the same time and with your husband there also .. if these are the rules of your house they have to understand that they have to follow them ... this way you will be about to feel out how far this will go .. good luck ..

billsfan1104
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:20 AM
Although my daughter will be 18 next year, as long as she is living with me and I am paying this, she is not going to do whatever she wants.

With that beind said, I would talk to her again. Maybe get your pastor involved if you what that. My daughters school(she goes to private) showed a picture of a girl with herpes and pictures of crabs. that scared the shit out of her. Because she thought that a condom would be ok. Well guess again. Lol. That was like when I showed her pictures of dead drink drivers and people who dug at their face while on meth. I went to the extreme, but hopefully with all this I tought her to respect her body, and her boyfriends will too, by not mking a home run. Good luck sweetie.
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Momof5Teens67
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:32 AM

 I agree 100%!  My oldest daughter was able to wait until she was 17 1/2 and I was sooo proud of her. It's NOT easy!!!!

Quoting amberdy:

I would talk to my daughter again, but honestly I don't know that there is any way for you to stop it unless you are with them, watching them everytime they are together.  But, if your daughter is 17 and has only been to "2nd base", you did a good job.

 

momofne
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 1:33 PM

I'd pull up a chair and watch the movie or vidoe games with them!!!

Angiebooboo
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 1:55 PM

Just remember when you were a teen!

Buggy979
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 1:58 PM

get her on  birth control... You can talk all you want and give your opinion but she will do it her way this is what a teen does...

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Jul. 12, 2010 at 2:48 PM


Quoting amberdy:

I would talk to my daughter again, but honestly I don't know that there is any way for you to stop it unless you are with them, watching them everytime they are together.  But, if your daughter is 17 and has only been to "2nd base", you did a good job.

This^^

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