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Daughter wants a boyfriend how do I get dad open to the idea?

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 6:34 PM
  • 29 Replies

Hello all,

I am new to the group and looking forward to many discussions; however, my first dilema is getting my husband to open up to the idea of our eldest daughter (16) beginning to date. She is a Merit Roll student in high school entering her junior year; we have never had any issues with pregnancy scares, her going behind our back and doing anything with boys or sneaking out to be with boys, and we are one of the few families who actually know each other's whereabouts 24/7. My daughter is at the age where she would like to begin dating and I do not see anything wrong with it. I told her that at 16, we would talk about boyfriends, and that I am not giving her the okay to have sex and that all outings would be supervised by my husband and myself, yet, my husband is not open to the idea of boyfriends. I cannot understand his reasons because all he can say is "I know what guys are about" I try to tell him that while he is worried about her and the guys he should also remember that now-a-days females are after the same thing and while he is so trusting of her female friends they could be the ones trying to have sex with her, therefore I really think he should reconsider his stance on the boyfriend situation. I do not want to go against him but on this I will because I feel that we have done an excellent job as parents teaching our kids about right from wrong and what boys are after and how to handle it and now we have to allow them to put that information to use. If I leave it to him our daughter would go to prom alone and die and old maid. I am open to all comments, suggestions, ideas, etc. Help me please!

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 6:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 6:57 PM

My dd is allowed to go on group dates.  Would he consider allowing her to try that? 

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 7:03 PM

i agree groupd dates is a way to get the ball rolling.

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 7:09 PM

 they beat me to it ^^^ :) this is too what I will begin allowing at that time :)

by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 7:25 PM

 My son is 14 and has a "girlfriend".  However, he's not allowed to "date" her.  He goes to the pool and she's there and I'm sure when school starts he will see her there and at school functions.  I told him he could "date" when he was 16.

You might try reminding your husband what kind of reputation the "Preachers daughter" has and if he continues to lock her away from the real world, she will go wild when she does go out into the world.

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 7:37 PM

 I feel you should step in she is 16 ,she is old enough to date, I would tell your husband that your daughter has a date and leave it at that.

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 7:41 PM

Dads and their daughters.  I have two boys so I can't really offer any advice.  I know if my husband had a daughter it would be the same.  And my husband can be very stubborn.  I feel for you mama. 

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 7:48 PM

My daughter wil be 16 in a few weeks and I'm living with same issue as you she has had a boyfriend for almost a year know and my husband is so angry .I just allowed them to really have an out of school relationship these last 6 months .she is a good girl very open with me we have  discussed sex most of the time together is spent in groups or with his faimly as my husband won't allow him in this house .We have had more fights about this issue so like you i would love to hear peoples ideas .I just was very frank with my husband if we forbid this relationship we will more than likely have a daughter who is sneaking around and I don't want that .

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 7:51 PM

I'm absolutely no help at all. My DD is only 10 and she won't be dating until she's 30. But here's a bump for you!!


by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 7:56 PM

 My daughter is almost 15 and she's talked about boyfriends for a few yrs now but, never asked one to the house before until just recently. She has been dating Alex for 3 week now and last week he came to the house for a few hrs and was very resepctful.. She will not be alone with him and she will not go on a date alone with him yet. He is a yr and 5 mths older than her.. so I will be very cautious with her. It seems that she likes him a lot. He doesn't live in the same town as us though.. he is from one town over.. My husband isn't too keen about this relationship cause Kate is a little immature but, I have asked him to give her a chance and he willing to let her and see what happens. I think  we have to cut the strings sometimes and let our kids go. I think for dad's when it comes to their daughters it is hard for them to cut the string.

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:53 PM

I agree

Quoting cbaab:

i agree groupd dates is a way to get the ball rolling.

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