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What would you do & did I do the right thing?

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My daughter 8 and son 12 & I were at a vacation bible school week ending event at the pool. One of my sons classmates, a girl which I think they might like eachother was there. He hasnt seen her but one other time at vbs earlier in the week since school got out in June. When it was time to go home everyone was being silly huggin eachother and the girl asked my son right in front of me to hug her. He said no I'm not going to do that. She kept begging him. Seeing he was uncomfortable & thinking about puberty & liking eachother I told the girl he wasn't allowed to hug any girls besides his mom and his little sister. She started to argue with me that they do it at school all the time. My closet friends chimed in and said no he is not allowed to. Did I do the right thing? Her mom is on my facebook page and she commented on how her daughter & him were at the pool together the whole time. Should I start talking to her about this relationship that might start budding or just let it be? I tried to talk to him today and asked him if he understood why I said that. I started tallking about changes in the body and he clammed up and went in his room and closed the door. I guess my approch was the wrong one. I have asked him if he likes her and he has said no. I have seen in his yearbook that they like eachother, but he doesnt know that I know they like eachother or that I read it in his yearbook. (he asked me not to read it) I have told him no girls right now because I want him to focus on school. Since he was in kinergarten the girls just flock to him. How do I talk to him about this without him getting upset and walking away?

floating in pool

by on Jul. 19, 2010 at 3:22 PM
Replies (11-12):
by on Jul. 20, 2010 at 2:10 AM

I have no advice right now,, my son is only 8, but uggg I dread when that time comes.....good luck to you

by Shauna on Jul. 20, 2010 at 7:57 AM

Quoting queenanne:

 I think you did the right thing.

I would like to turn this around.  What if it had been a daughter who was being hounded by a boy for a hug.  I think we are quick to step in to protect our daughters from unwanted physical interactions.  But, when it is our sons, we tend to minimize the situation.

Your son is only 12 years old.  He is still learning how to interact with people in general.......let alone giggly girls.  I think it was totally appropriate to step in and help him out.

Good point.

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