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lying......

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 6:00 PM
  • 9 Replies

 what do you ussually do when you think that your teen start to lie at you esp about thier grades or friends?

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 6:00 PM
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Replies (1-9):
mumsy2three
by Shauna on Aug. 31, 2010 at 6:45 PM

My dd doesn't lie to me about grades. Our school has a program called powerschool, I just log on and see her grades as anytime during the year. I also work in the school she attends, she knows that I will go and talk to any of the teachers she has if I need to.

She generally keeps me in the loop about friends and stuff too. She doesn't lie about where she is going either. 

Momof5Teens67
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 8:00 PM

 One thing I would suggest is to ask yourself (you dont have to tell us :).... if you are making SURE that you act and talk in a NONJUDGMENTAL and open minded, understanding way about her grades and friends so she feels SAFE that she can be open and honest?

I am not blaming you for her lying so please don't take this personally, but sometimes there are reasons why kids/teens/adults feel it is easier to lie so it is good to ask ourselves this question.

shell81
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 9:54 PM

 I agree... NOT saying your not but I am very open with my kids so they know not to lie! It is way worse if they even try!

Quoting Momof5Teens67:

 One thing I would suggest is to ask yourself (you dont have to tell us :).... if you are making SURE that you act and talk in a NONJUDGMENTAL and open minded, understanding way about her grades and friends so she feels SAFE that she can be open and honest?

I am not blaming you for her lying so please don't take this personally, but sometimes there are reasons why kids/teens/adults feel it is easier to lie so it is good to ask ourselves this question.

 

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ToraMay
by on Sep. 1, 2010 at 12:02 AM

 Our school has a place to sign up so you can check thier grades on-line. It doesn't prevent the lies, but it cuts down on them as you're able to say, "here are your grades, these are the assignments you missed".

Kiter
by on Sep. 1, 2010 at 12:22 AM

I read into that all wrong, I guess. I assumed it was just a "ice breaker, topic starter" question, not that the mom had a specific problem.

**Kimberly**   unschooling our 3 boys (13,15,16)



rock n roll

miss_yancey
by on Sep. 1, 2010 at 4:37 AM

Let them know that you know cuz mom is not a doormat! They are teens and that's what they do to a degree. Somethings can slide and esp says you know what they are, pick you battles cuz not all of it is worth it but(Ithink) most of it is. Let them know you can call them on anything and be strong! Good luck!

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Sep. 1, 2010 at 6:13 AM


Quoting Kiter:

I read into that all wrong, I guess. I assumed it was just a "ice breaker, topic starter" question, not that the mom had a specific problem.

That's how I read it too.

loopycare
by on Sep. 1, 2010 at 11:13 AM

My kids can't lie to me.  I can see it in their faces.  If I ask them to look me in the eye and tell me again, they get caught and the punishment depends on the child.  They can't lie about grades because I can check them at home. Friends..I know all their friends pretty well.  I keep my eye on all of them as if they were mine.  I hope it never comes to it.

Kiter
by on Sep. 1, 2010 at 12:48 PM

2 of my boys have Asperger's (and one of those had moderate autism until  he was 7)

I do not think they have ever lied.

My oldest will sometimes try to twist something while playing a game to make himself look in the right- but  it never flies.

I'm not sure what I'd do if they out and out lied to me. G lied a few times when he was in 1s grade- it was like a "new found skill" to him. I had him him write out and memorize a bunch of Bible Verses on the tongue and lying. That only lasted a couple more lies before he decided it wasn't worth it.

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