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Dating

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:24 PM
  • 18 Replies

Do you feel it is appropriate for teens to date? Why or why not?  I guess I get the why not just fine (though please add your inout!) more than the why.  Do you feel there is a good reason to allow teen dating?

http://leangreenmommy.wordpress.com/

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mistik75
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:39 PM

yes i am going to allow my teen to date at age 16 BUT only  as a group, so there is a crowd around, always.

sunny1961
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:43 PM

I allowed my children to start dating at 14 - movies, mall, eating out, school dances - we would pick up their dates, drop them where they were going, pick tham back up and take their dates home. I always made sure they had a cell phone with them, and they knew that at any time, Mom may stop by to check on how things were going! If it was going to be someplace private - the answer was no. I just don't see no reason not to!

SirsMom
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 3:00 PM

 I have to agree!  100%.  My son is only 13 and apparently they all date and go to movies, but not in groups.  Needless to say, he doesn't.  Just call me mean mommy! 

Quoting mistik75:

yes i am going to allow my teen to date at age 16 BUT only  as a group, so there is a crowd around, always.

 

Michelle                butterfly


 

luckysevenwow
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 3:28 PM

16 is my hard and fast rule, one of the few things I am strict about. Why?...I feel up until that point they do not need and outside influences to effect their school work and home life. Let's face it, once you add the opposite sex in things start to become complicated, it's just a part of life. One DD didn't get to even date when she was 16, I knew she wasn't ready and when I did let her I knew she wasn't ready and now I regret that choice cause everything I warned her about happened and I was left to pick up the pieces while she kept saying "you were right, why didn't I listen?" of course she didn't listen, she's a teen :). Hopefully in the future she will pay a little more attention to what I have to say. I really liked her boyfriend, I just knew they were not right for each other....

NearSeattleMom
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:40 PM

My minimum age is 16 . . . I don't think there's any particularly good reason for teens to date. 

Michele975
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:47 PM

Mine started dating at 14... but it's more like just hanging out with her boyfriend. She's only had two to this point, and there have been no real dates to this point. They hang out with all their friends and hang out at each others houses (with parental supervision). Currently her best friend and her both have boyfriends, the boys are buddies so the four of them are wanting to go to see Yogi Bear as a group when it comes out. I will allow it, the boyfriend is a good kid and I'm friends with his mom (heck we spent Thanksgiving together before they were even boyfriend/girlfriend).

 

jinxmom
by Bronze Member on Dec. 10, 2010 at 9:40 AM

Regardless of how a parent feels etc they are doing it anyway. ugh My dd 16 has been on movie dates with boys I took her and picked her up since 14.  Unfortunately, they are going to do what they want but the information and pitfuls need to be given when it comes to dating, sex, drugs etc.  You will find that their ideal of dating is different from parents so I would ask them what does dating mean to them? Once they tell you, you can either give a sigh of relief and/or start communicating fast lol 

SoniaL
by on Dec. 10, 2010 at 11:11 AM

My DD will be 14 in january.  When I was her age "dating' someone meant writing notes in school and sometimes talking on the phone.  Her friends go to the movies, ice skating, coffee shop, etc.  And alone w/ just them and the boy.  To me that is unacceptable.  My DD says she wishes she could date but when we talk more about it it just has to do w/ fitting in w/ everyone else.  And when we sit down and talk she really does understand why we say no.  We have told her that as time progresses if she feels she wants to be heard on why she wants different rules then please come to us w/ respect and we will hear her out.  When kids date they re not themselves.  they try to be who they think the boy (i am going to speak from this perspective as i have all girls) would like best.  They are at such a critical age of figuring out who they really are in the 1st place that it is so wrong for that to be stifled because they want some boy to like them. They need to find their voice and their identity.  And teen relationships are not a lesson in reality.  I remember what they were like and it was stupid and drama and when i dated as an adult it was not like that.  They learn that dating a different person every 2 weeks (since someone cute comes along) is normal and ok and they question if they are good enough since they keep getting dumped.  teens have low self worth by nature and to throw in getting dumped all the time?  Teens who date tend to have lower self worth and a skewed view of relationships.  And they are often so focused on either the boyfriend or the break up they can't focus on school (my DD has told me how true this is for her friends) I think they can all hang out in groups and get to know each other for who they really are.  and when they are older if that person, the true person, is of interest, then they can date.

luvthesoap
by on Dec. 11, 2010 at 8:15 AM

My son had his first girlfriend when he was 15. They broke up for a while & now they are back together. They are serous now & talking about a future togther. He's only 16 now. Even though thay are dating, they are NEVER left alone together. They go out together in a public place, or in each other's homes with the parents or siblings there too.

betty in Ky

justlurking
by on Dec. 11, 2010 at 9:55 AM

My son has been dating his girlfriend for a year now.  They are both 17.  Before that he had a girlfriend at 15.  They only saw eachother about once a week, and at work.  Always supervised.  I would rather allow dating than have them do it behind my back anyway and be clueless.  I've seen that happen too many times.

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