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HELP Teen daughter sex

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 3:00 AM
  • 16 Replies

I received alarming news this week.  My 17 yr old daughter was caught on security tape having intercourse at school. I am trying to find out what would possess her to do this. I don't want details, I want to know the psychological reasons for her actions. She is not forth coming. I wonder if I'm asking the right questions. Any unbiased, non judgemental  help would be greatly appreciated.

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 3:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MaggotMom
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 7:36 AM

You're convinced that there are psychological reasons? Teenagers have sex for the same reasons adults do, and it's not necessarily psychological. Sex feels good, sex is an adrenaline rush, sex helps you feel better about your relationship and closer to your partner. Nothing changes just because you're a teenager. 

If I were you, I would be more concerned about how long she's been active, how long she's been with this particular boy, why she would risk doing it at school, and more important than all of the above, was she using protection at all.

Sooner or later, all of us become sexually active. Ideally, we would all love it if your teens waited until they were at least 18, if not married. But, that would be a perfect world and we don't live in one, sadly. How long until she's 18, because at that point, it's pretty moot? She's growing up, it's as simple as that.

atlmom2
by Susie on Mar. 2, 2011 at 8:10 AM

I don't know what I would do, probably totally flip out because of the sex, let alone at school.  My girls chose not to have sex as a teen and I am so very greatful.    Hugs to you!!! 

                


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jinxmom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 2, 2011 at 9:01 AM

I agree with maggotmom.  Teens do what they do for no other reason then to have fun, it feels good and it can be excited to see what they can get away with.  I'm sure at least for me I would be extremely embarrassed right about now.  When she wants to talk just be a good listener.  The other important thing would be if she used protection (which nothing really protects other than not having sex), how long have they been having sex etc.

Reia631
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 9:06 AM

Can I ask what you have asked her so far and what shes said.

 Im guessing tho that the reasons behind it are just that she wasn't overly thinking anyone would find out. 

 I honestly think at 17 all you can do is make sure she has all the information she needs about safe sex & just try and be as understanding as you can.

Forget-me-not
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 9:07 AM
What she said, why are you looking to blame this on a condition?


Quoting MaggotMom:

You're convinced that there are psychological reasons? Teenagers have sex for the same reasons adults do, and it's not necessarily psychological. Sex feels good, sex is an adrenaline rush, sex helps you feel better about your relationship and closer to your partner. Nothing changes just because you're a teenager. 


If I were you, I would be more concerned about how long she's been active, how long she's been with this particular boy, why she would risk doing it at school, and more important than all of the above, was she using protection at all.


Sooner or later, all of us become sexually active. Ideally, we would all love it if your teens waited until they were at least 18, if not married. But, that would be a perfect world and we don't live in one, sadly. How long until she's 18, because at that point, it's pretty moot? She's growing up, it's as simple as that.


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PurpleHazey
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:37 AM

oh god, I don't know, so I just asked my sons girlfriend and her response was they just like sex, and its not good. Sorry!! But I would be pissed just like you and I would want to know the samething.

momofne
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:47 AM

Wow! I'd have to agree it's probably just sex not an emotional problem. I would be livid!!

atlmom2
by Susie on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:50 AM

I think she is wondering what would make her dd want to have sex at school!!!  I agree too you wonder what goes through their heads when they do something so very stupid.  I agree with the OP on that one. 

Forget-me-not
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:59 AM
The frontal lobe is not fully formed till 25, that is the part of the brain that controls action/consequences. She's brain damaged.. Lol no seriously at this age foreseeing consequences is not something that is easy for kids.
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jo.smith
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 1:02 PM

 Wow, that would be a shock!  Sorry that you are having to deal with it.  I am with the others that it is (unfortunately) normal for kids to partake in risky, stupid behavior.  I really don't think that you are going to get a good reason out of her, because she really doesn't have one, so I would talk to her about safe sex, how inappropriate it was to do it at school. and that you expect her to never do anything like that again. 

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