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need some opinions on this please

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 8:41 AM
  • 14 Replies

so my 15yr old sd gets to do what she wants essentially when she is here..she is a really good kid..no trouble what so ever...goes to school does sports etc...she has no use for boys guys period.she has a fulltime girl friend.which is  cool that she does not hide it at all but when she is here her dad my fiance lets her do what ever she wants..she comes and goes as she please's and has friends sleep over all the time and doent even ask eathier of us just makes these plans..her gf is a controling wench...she whines and bitches all the time bout everything and anything..but my point is she never asks and money is super tight right now..so we dont have the extra money for the food and everything etc and to keep the heat turned up high upstairs and on our downstairs all day and night.we have oil heat.but is it wrong for me to say she should have to ask ahead of time if its ok or not to keep haveing her friends come over with out asking period..i know im just her step mom but i feel its rather disrespectfull period seeing we have a newborn in the house..our baby just turned two months yesterday.and we have my 3yr old ds and my 5yr old dd..so am i just being bitchy? cause i was not allowed to do any of this when i was a teen

by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 8:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Mar. 28, 2011 at 9:18 AM

You are not wrong in asking her to ask you if its ok to have friends over.  I make my 19 year old ask me.  Its my house!!!! 

san3
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 9:19 AM

Doesn't matter if you are birth or step mom. You are a big part of her life and she is in your home. My boys aren't allowed to do whatever they want. They do have friends over, often without asking. However, they know that snacks are around but they don't have friends for meals or over night without asking. Your house, your family, your rules.

Sandyr911
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 9:21 AM

 Sounds like she needs to learn about common courtesy.  I would think its something u need to talk to her dad about and he needs to address it.....especially if money is tight.

jo.smith
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:36 AM

 

Quoting Sandyr911:

 Sounds like she needs to learn about common courtesy.  I would think its something u need to talk to her dad about and he needs to address it.....especially if money is tight.

 I agree, it needs to come from Dad and not you.  Get him on board so that he can talk to her. 

momofne
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:01 AM

Same here.

Quoting jo.smith:

 

Quoting Sandyr911:

 Sounds like she needs to learn about common courtesy.  I would think its something u need to talk to her dad about and he needs to address it.....especially if money is tight.

 I agree, it needs to come from Dad and not you.  Get him on board so that he can talk to her. 


lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:15 AM

talk with your husband together come up with how often freinds can be at the house. Explain to her that you can't afford to feed extra people everyday. If her GF bothers you ask her if she can spend time at her girl friends house on oaccasion.

drfink
by Emily on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:18 AM

      agree also

Quoting momofne:

Same here.

Quoting jo.smith:

 

Quoting Sandyr911:

 Sounds like she needs to learn about common courtesy.  I would think its something u need to talk to her dad about and he needs to address it.....especially if money is tight.

 I agree, it needs to come from Dad and not you.  Get him on board so that he can talk to her. 



cleomo7
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 2:24 PM

thanks mama's....and if money wasnt tight i would still be posting this post..her gf whines all the time when i cook any thing or if my hunny does to..she'll go i dont like that it makes me sick etc...or she asks how come u dont buy this and this and i told her im not ur mom go home and eat that shit if u want it..she eats all the snacks treats etc and dont save any for anyone in the house..she trys to control my 15yr sd and it drives me nuts cause she is a really good kid..she even makes me look like i was a wild outta control teen..lol...so i am goin to talk to my hunny bout it cause when she is at her moms her mom does not let nore allow her to come and go as she pleases like she does here..they cook n make huge messes all the time and make extra dirty laundry and its always stuck on me to clean up and im just not tolerateing it anymore..i was not raised like this and i dont think she should be able to do all this cause eventually i fear something is going to happen to her..she doesnt smoke nore drink nore any drugs at all but im just scared something is seariously going to happen..i love her to death cause like i said she is really a cool kid and i only want the best for her..

drfink
by Emily on Mar. 28, 2011 at 5:20 PM

oh my if one of my kids friends romantic or otherwise criticized my cooking or food choices more than once I would send them home or take her myself.Get her father to explain guests are gracious not critical and if it the meals do not suit gf she needs to just not be around during meals.Also encourage him to put his foot down concerning the messes.They are way to old to be doing all that.

amberdy
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 5:28 PM
I agree.


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

talk with your husband together come up with how often freinds can be at the house. Explain to her that you can't afford to feed extra people everyday. If her GF bothers you ask her if she can spend time at her girl friends house on oaccasion.


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