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Help! My oldest teen daughter (age 15) is a total monster to me.

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 6:57 PM
  • 11 Replies
My 15yo daughter says very hurtful things to me, battles with me about going to school, refuses to talk about anything that bothers her, etc., etc. She behaves in a cruel way that is disrespectful to whoever is in her path and not giving in to what she wants. I realize a lot of this is "normal" behavior for a teen girls but it seems like it's at the max level for her. I love her very much and tell her so. I tell her that I'm always there for her but she is still expected to behave appropriately. I'm at my wits end and it's killing me that I don't even want to be around my own child! Any advice is greatly appreciated!
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 6:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
tmmom2
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 7:01 PM

 I dont really have any advice, I am going through the same thing with my 15 year old son. I swear sometimes I hate being a parent, it is heartbreaking.  I guess its normal behavior, but it makes me feel like a horrible mom because I dont know what to do.  I have taken things away and talked to him and it does no good. Just hang in there, hopefully it will get better.

ferrellmt
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 7:10 PM

My 16 yo twins, boy and girl are like this. Boy is quieter, but dd is very mouthy. It is painful to be around her. It is sad, becuase she used to be the most sensitive and darling girl. I miss her.

I am not sure either how to deal with this. I am all ears...

Wyndi
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 7:15 PM

I'd be dealing out some tough love. mine would come home to a bedroom with just bed, dresser and 3 changes of clothes. they would find a clock that has just an alarm feature.

As for not getting up for school, they have no choice. they would be going even if in their pj's.

Hi I'm Wyndi. I live in a small villiage in Ohio. I've met the Villiage Idiot and wish his villiage would come claim him.

momofne
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 7:30 PM

It does get better.

Quoting tmmom2:

 I dont really have any advice, I am going through the same thing with my 15 year old son. I swear sometimes I hate being a parent, it is heartbreaking.  I guess its normal behavior, but it makes me feel like a horrible mom because I dont know what to do.  I have taken things away and talked to him and it does no good. Just hang in there, hopefully it will get better.


momofne
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 7:31 PM

I know what you mean about missing her.

Quoting ferrellmt:

My 16 yo twins, boy and girl are like this. Boy is quieter, but dd is very mouthy. It is painful to be around her. It is sad, becuase she used to be the most sensitive and darling girl. I miss her.

I am not sure either how to deal with this. I am all ears...


URHonor
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 7:56 PM

try taking her out for the day to do something she likes. make it very special. i would try to send her flowers and on the card put the date that you can do something with her. i'm not blaming you at all because i don't know your circumstances...but sometimes with kid you get out what you put in....i learned this because of my own daughter :) so i am not judging you!


worship
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 8:19 PM

 I will take some advice also, Im getting  it from both my 15 and 16,  I  have had it disciplining don't work,  I try and talk  nice to them respectifully etc.  I don't make them do chores. excepfor they have to do their own laundry  and clean their rooms.   They call me stupid and tell me to chiill out and more.  They get mad because I made them behave in church yesterday, I make them treat me with respect, I make them come in at a certain time at night, I make them tell me where they are going and who they are going to be with.    I make my oldest slow down and not text when  she is driving.   But I have fricken had it with the back talking and the disrespct. My husband does nothing to help so i do all the discipling , the breaking up of fights.  And then when I do try and talk to him he acts like a freakin child.  I went to go get milk and came back 20  min later, he was like that was a long time getting milk, I was like srry, he was like whats your problem,  I didn't say anything.   I have had it Iam at my wits end with everything.  Any advice would  be greatly appreciated.

Hennie12
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 9:06 PM

Oh this sounds like it is so universal!  Same thing going on here.  14yo daughter back talks, won't do chores (except her laundry), treats me like a maid, talks in this irritating monotone that makes me want to slap her face, she does online high school and she won't talk to me about what she is doing or if she needs help, and she has this "I know more than you do" attitude.  I wish I had some advice!  Everyone keeps telling me it is a phase and that she'll outgrow it.  But how do we survive until then?  Please, anyone who has survived this, help us!!!!

Carmel63
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:09 PM

I hear this is normal, but thank goodness that this is not my teen.  I am not going to suggest that I have any special parenting skills, or that my teen is better.  I will say that I never put up with the slightest amount of disrespect, and my teen realized very quickly that her life was easier and was likely to be rewarded for good behavior. 

I hope things get better. 

BingsMommy
by on Mar. 29, 2011 at 11:18 AM

Sounds like my step-daughter, but she's at her mom's in California now.  We tried everything.

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