Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My teenage son won't speak to me :(

Posted by on Apr. 20, 2011 at 3:32 PM
  • 16 Replies

I need help! My 15 year old son & I have always been real close & now he barely speaks to me, is defiant with simple house rules & just plain disrespectful. He doesn't scream obsenities or use physical violence but I am still frustrated with his blantant disrespect! You see, we just moved to a beautiful house 30 minutes from our old 2 bedroom apartment. This move of course means leaving his friends & school...leaving him with feelings of anamosity, which I completely understand from moving regularly as a kid myself.  I explained to him that life is always a series of changes & asked him to have an open mind & give it a chance. His reply..."I don't want to." In addition, he has chosen to let his grades fall & is not putting forth the straight A effort that he has throughout his school years. It breaks my heart that he is doing this just to spite me! I have had many, many talks with him trying to get him to see that this is a good thing. Only to receive blank stares & shoulder shrugging. I miss my son terribly...the laughs we use to have, the hugs & the I love you's. But now he is just down right mean for the purpose of being mean, & I really don't even want to be around him. I love him tremendously...just don't like him very much. I'm sure it will just take time for him to accept the changes...but how do I get thru this period of "attitude" in the meantime? 

by on Apr. 20, 2011 at 3:32 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
NearSeattleMom
by on Apr. 20, 2011 at 7:14 PM

Is his dad around?

I haven't had that big of a change in my teenagers, but I wish you well!  Just try to stay as connected to him as you can, but understand that part of the job of a teenager is to separate from his/her parents.

shell81
by on Apr. 20, 2011 at 11:00 PM

 See if the school counselor will talk to him? Can he join sports or does he even want to?

Try and do one on one time?

Wyndi
by on Apr. 20, 2011 at 11:56 PM

 Does he have any contact with his old friends? maybe he needs some time with his old buddies.

I went through this with my son a few years ago. He started hanging out with the wrong people. I found out the one's he was hanging out with were over 21 and I finally blew my fuse when one brought beer to share with my then 15 yr old son. yeah, I chased them off and they don't dare come around anymore. Now my son has made friends at school and our relationship is getting better every day.  He will come around in time.

PosinourHarmony
by Silver Member on Apr. 21, 2011 at 3:54 AM

 

Take him to see his old friends or let him have a sleep over at the house wit his friends. I'm sure he misses his old life and old friends and feels nothing is the same. The new house doesn't feel like home and he's scared of change. He'll come around ya jus gotta work wit him and give it some time.

mitamo
by on Apr. 21, 2011 at 8:21 AM

Something similar has happened to me somehow and my teen dose not talk to me as much . I can say your teen has a reason for himself at least, but I'm wondering and confused sometimes what happened to him and us?! However I 'm trying to give him more space and  not to push,and also show and prove my love and support at all times,now after months he himself has started working on our relationship and getting much better.I'm not saying this is the way,but you can try it because talking in the the best all the time and I feel like they do not even hear us.good luck .

Sandyr911
by on Apr. 21, 2011 at 8:26 AM

Just give him a lil time to adjust....thats a major thing at that age to basically have to start over.

jo.smith
by on Apr. 21, 2011 at 12:34 PM

How long has it been since you moved?  You say just, so I am assuming it is very recent.  If so then I wouldn't worry, he is still trying to adjust to all the changes and is angry and resentful.  This is normal.  Trying to give him some space, let him know that you are there for him if he needs you, and make sure that he still gets to see his old friends as much as possible.  I also think that most teen boys get this way with their mom anyway, because they are trying to separate from you.  Give him a few months and see if things get back to the way they were.

PurpleHazey
by Angie on Apr. 21, 2011 at 12:43 PM

Give him some time he will come around, moving is hard.

charlotsomtimes
by on Apr. 21, 2011 at 12:44 PM


Quoting jo.smith:

How long has it been since you moved?  You say just, so I am assuming it is very recent.  If so then I wouldn't worry, he is still trying to adjust to all the changes and is angry and resentful.  This is normal.  Trying to give him some space, let him know that you are there for him if he needs you, and make sure that he still gets to see his old friends as much as possible.  I also think that most teen boys get this way with their mom anyway, because they are trying to separate from you.  Give him a few months and see if things get back to the way they were.


What she said...

Moving is a major change and especially as a teen.  Make sure he still gets to see his friends- you ugys are lucky, half an hour away isn't that bad-  Try moving teens to new states. Talk about hard Ugh...

I think he will come around- but I think it's partially the move, and partially the age and together-it's jsut gonna be rough for awhile.

lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Apr. 21, 2011 at 4:55 PM

tell him when his attitude changes and he starts acting respectful towards you.  you will happy to drive him to visit his friends or invite them to your new home.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)