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Hitting....

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:23 PM
  • 7 Replies

Ok...so I know that this is a group for parents wit teens. But I figured that maybe someone could give me some advice or something cause I'm at a lost here. Ok...so  I have a dilemma with my 2 year old daughter. She's hitting and I've tried time outs I've smacked her fingers. I've told her no I've tried everything. My friend says read a book. Well I've read books and pamphlets and all that stuff and well nothing....idk wat ta do.  When my twins where younger and they hit I would smack them back and say how you like it and they quit. My 3 year old son he didn't hit he was a bitter....I nip that shit in the butt real quick. But with her...idk wat to do. She has so much attitude....I tell her no and she points her finger back at me and tells me no and Shhh and even told me shut up last night. Yea that got her in trouble. I can handle all those. I don't want her hitting she smacks her brothers. She smacked one of the twins in the face yesterday and he hit her back. Not hard but a lil tap and you would've thought the world was ending and my fiance wanted ta yell at him. I said no she has to learn she can't hit people she's the one who's gonna get in trouble not him and I put her in time out and she threw a fight and tried to hit me. UGH!! Idk wats worse teen years or toddler years! Any mothers have any advice for me....it's all welcome cause idk wat else ta do with her cause she is the devil in disguise I swear to it lol!

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:23 PM
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Replies (1-7):
tuffymama
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:00 PM
Where did she hear "shut up"?
IMO and in my house, whoever hits gets punished, even if someone hit them first. Fair is fair. As far as nipping the biting in the bud, how did you do it? As long as it wasn't biting him back, I would suggest using the same approach here. I find that keeping a straight face, showing no reaction, saying NOTHING, and calmly placing my toddler in TO seems to work best.
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PosinourHarmony
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:17 PM

She gets that from me. It's a bad habit I know. I don't tell her or my 3 year old to shut up but I tell my fiance to shut up all the time and I'm forever telling my twins to sit down and shut up. I didn't bite him back...that's wat my mom told me to do but I was not gonna bite my child. I smacked his diaper and put in time out...bout 3 times of that and he was done bitting. I reallly don't have a problem outta her expect for like normal 2 year old stuff and this hitting thing. She will even punch. My fiance told took his phone off her and told her no and she pointed her finger and told him no and balled up her lil fist and punched him in the leg. He yelled at her and put her in time out. He don't help though cause she was in there having a fit for 30 seconds and he felt bad and took her out. I told him wat is that solving that's telling her that if she cries and throws a fit then daddy will come and baby her and tell her it's ok so now she thinks it's ok to hit! I could beat my head off of a wall!! banging head into wall

Wyndi
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:52 PM

 you and daddy need to be on the same page for discipline thats for sure. hitting got a swat on the thigh and time out. the swat was never hard enough to bruise but it got their attention really fast, esp if they were fighting in the pool. Then they had to sit while everyone else had fun.

tuffymama
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:54 PM
Well, thirty seconds of quiet TO is all we try to get out of the two year old. It's too hot for us to get out most days, but when we can, he's much more pleasant the rest of the day. He needs a LOT of exercise. He also likes bathtime with his dad, or naptime with me. With my oldest, it was a matter of finding his currency, which happened to be a half hour of cartoons. This LO has no currency. He refuses to believe in consequences. I frequently find I'm just trying to keep him from killing himself with a tantrum or some new stunt (like scaling the draperies!).
Bottom line is, if he has had enough exercise and one-on-one attention during the day, he is much less likely to hit, shout at or headbutt his parents. You might start there with your daughter. It sounds like she's needy like my youngest. Some kids just demand more attention.
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NearSeattleMom
by on Aug. 18, 2011 at 12:26 AM

Try to stay calm.  Don't take her hitting personally and just continue to calmly redirect her.  Tell her, "no hitting!  hitting hurts!" but don't overreact or give her too much attention about it.

Good luck!  Every kid is different and you have to figure out what works for each one.

tyfry7496
by on Aug. 18, 2011 at 4:48 AM
Keep telling het NO and move her away from whomever she is hitting. Do NOT hit her back in anyway, then it becomes a game and shows hitting is ok. It's going to take patience but by bring firm you can change the situation. I work in child care and have broken a lot of toddlers and preschoolers of hitting without spanking them in anyway. Also, stop telling the fiancé and kids to shut up or your daughter will continue to say it too. Kids, especially toddlers, learn by copying their parents and those around them.
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lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Aug. 18, 2011 at 7:05 AM

 When she hits you grab her hands. You get down eye to eye level. In a stern voice you say"Hands are for Helping and Hugging. NEVER for hurting or hitting" Then you hug her. You ask her a few times a day "What are hands for" Until she gets it. You teach everyone in the house to handle her this way.

When she says Shut up! same eye to eye level then You say sternly We do NOT use that talk in our home ! Make sure no one esle does.

Be sure to praise her often and throughout the day for not hitting. Say things like mommmy loves it when you use your hands for helping and hugging. can mommy have a hug? Get everyone in the house onbard.

I have used this for 25 years with many many children. It works.

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