Help! Not sure how to handle 13 year old boy "drama"
Hi to all Moms with Teens. I am new here, and am looking foward to getting your advice as well as helping out when I can.
I need help on how to handle a teen situation. Its a long story (aren't they all?) but I am going to try to just give the highlights. My son, who is in 8th grade and almost 14, has been dumped by a couple of his good friends. I am sure my son isn't blameless, but at the same time, all of his teachers, coaches, other parents, etc. consistently comment on how kind and fun my son is... he is always including people, helps kids who are struggling at school out... we always say he was born sunny side up for a reason.
I think the main thing that happened was that his friends decided that it was cool to talk badly about other people, and it turned into a "group think" thing, and my son just happened to be an unlucky target. He still has other friends, and seems to be handling the whole thing OK in the scheme of things. But, he is still sad.
My need for advice is that I am good friends with the moms of these boys, and I feel awkward every time I am around them. They both act like nothing has happened, when I know darn well that they know something has. These boys didn't just end the friendship... they text each other and others not nice things about my son, and just generally continue to be jerky about the whole thing. If the friendship between the boys had just faded away, it wouldn't be an issue. But, I am having a hard time not bringing the subject up. My husband says that we should remain friends with the adults (even though he does acknowledge that the boys aren't being kind). We still have to see them quite a bit, as our sons all play the same sports, etc. But, I feel really fake when I just have to nod and smile when they talk in glowing terms about their sons. And, when they invite us over, etc., my husband wants to go, but the whole time I watch my son feel uncomfortable. The last time we all went out after a game, one of the boys didn't say one word to my son the entire night... talked over him, around him, etc. What should I do? I know in my head I shouldn't base my own adult friendships on what is happening with my sons friendships, but at the same time, I feel like our friendships aren't genuine if we don't at least get this out on the table. I know I would want to know if my son was actively being unkind to someone else, but my husband says that knowing the parents involved, they will just say boys will be boys, and it could even make it worse for my son in the long run. Please tell me if any of you have been in this situation, and how you handled it, or how you think you would handle it if it happened to you.