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How do I keep in Control???

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 11:32 PM
  • 17 Replies

Hello Ladies,

 I just really need all of your help...

 How to I keep things in control in my house with a teen that keeps an attitude and just dont get the point!!!!

 I used to spank her when needed when she was younger,but she is 14yrs old now and havent really spanked her in about a year in a half..

 I kinda felt that she was getting older and there were other ways to deal with her behavior,but shes really pushing my buttons!!!

 I posted the other day how I lost it and tried spanking her ass cause I was fed up and she grabbed my arm and threatened to call the cops and left the house!!!

 This is not like her at all, she just was crying and angry and stated she was almost 15yrs old and she wasn't gonna get spanked... 

 So what do I do now?

 I told her she was punished for 2 weeks,its the longest that she has ever been punished for and even today she still kept an attitude and tries to always have the last word...

This is really trying for me,Iam not gonna let this child of mine think shes gonna rule my home or my choices...

 But at the same time Iam unsure how to change her attitude,its driving me nuts...I want the control back in my house,please give any advice Iam willing to listen:)

 

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 11:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
supermom664
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 11:43 PM
Tell her to go ahead and call the police. Better yet you call the police for her, it's not aganist the law to spank your kids. I would call her bluff and dare her to ever call the police on me
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sunny1961
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 2:04 AM

The best thing you can do is Don't Argue with her - if she starts, send her to her room and let her know that when she is ready to discuss the issue in a respectable, calm manner, you will be happy to engage with her. You have to be consistant with it though - if you give in just once, she has you. And it isn't going to be easy - if she refuses to stay in her room and wants to keep running her mouth, just go on with your business as if she isn't even in the same room or house - they hate being ignored when they want to talk, but they don't want to talk when we feel the need - and it takes time for it to sink into their heads that we are done! Just keep at it.....I think it took about six months of doing this on a daily basis before my daughter finally let it sink in, and now we talk about everything.

PosinourHarmony
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 12:21 PM


Quoting supermom664:

Tell her to go ahead and call the police. Better yet you call the police for her, it's not aganist the law to spank your kids. I would call her bluff and dare her to ever call the police on me

My son tried that once. I said I dare you. And if you do I will have beat your ass ten times by the time they get here. He never said them words again lol!

Malissa1578
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 12:28 PM

 

Quoting supermom664:

Tell her to go ahead and call the police. Better yet you call the police for her, it's not aganist the law to spank your kids. I would call her bluff and dare her to ever call the police on me

 Yep ^^^ this... its time to show her you are the boss and you are not going ot play these games. I told my daughter that if she even tried to say that to me like some of her friends say to their parents or kids she knows do I would call them and then whoop her a$$ as they drove over. Or that she could even try and get to the phone before I got to her. And if she says that it is against the law to spank her... print out the laws and stick them right in front of her.

DAHLONEGAMOMMY
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 12:55 PM

First of all, you are the adult and you do not have to argue your rules. She can get as mad as she wants but you do not argue with her. I do NOT argue my rules with my boys, 17 and 14. I dont care of they like them or not. If they want to make the rules, they need to get their own home. I dont waiver and I never fail to follow through. Secondly, nothing is more important to a teenager than their friends and the ability to socialize with those friends. Your daughter cannot communicate, visit, hang out or do anything with her friends without some assistance from you. You likely pay for her internet, cell phone, telephone, clothes, roof, etc. If she doesnt want to see things your way, take away all the things you give her that are not required by law to sustain her physical well being. When it is a teenager, you have to follow through. They know how to push buttons and they know how to pull heart strings. The rules are the rules and if they are not enforced, they are absolutely worthless. I have a 17yo senior and a 14 yo freshman in highschool. Both dont do anything without asking me first. They dont go and come as they please and they dont just hang out without me knowing about it. They have chores and responsibilities. My kids dont hesitate to do what they need to do to get the privileges they have. I dont argue with my children and I back up my threats. My kids are not perfect but I have two boys who respect me and listen to me. They realize that I am not out to make them miserable and I provide the best I can, as meager as it may be. If your want your kids to respect you, you have to respect yourself as a parent. You cannot be your child's lfriend and disciplinarian. 

ame4c
by Bronze Member on Sep. 15, 2011 at 1:20 PM

 

Quoting PosinourHarmony:

 

Quoting supermom664:

Tell her to go ahead and call the police. Better yet you call the police for her, it's not aganist the law to spank your kids. I would call her bluff and dare her to ever call the police on me

My son tried that once. I said I dare you. And if you do I will have beat your ass ten times by the time they get here. He never said them words again lol!

 My grandmother did this to my uncle and he called them.  They lived in the country so the sheriff came.  The sheriff told him if he didn't bend over and take it like a man he would have to arrest him and take him to jail...LOL...

     ame4c





 

ame4c
by Bronze Member on Sep. 15, 2011 at 1:25 PM

 Spanking has it's place and I use it if needed.  However at her age, I would think there are more difficult punishments than spanking.  Losing the cell phone seems to hurt my kids and video games, computers and TV, shoot I can get them to do just about anything.  I have a 15, 13, and 11 yr old at home, we also have a 20 and 18 yr old living on their own.

Once my kids were leaving the lights on in the house, they absolutely refused to turn off the lights.  I grounded them for 1 night from electricity.  ANYTHING that used electricity they were not allowed to use.  It opened their eyes pretty quickly, especially the cold showers because the water heater is electric too.  They haven't forgotten to turn off the lights anymore.

Maybe getting creative with your punishment is what you need.

momofne
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 2:21 PM

What exactly is she doing?

dwananders
by on Sep. 17, 2011 at 12:53 AM

First you have to change your attitude. If you don't like getting hit , don't hit her, if she were any other person this would be considered assault. When my daughter gets like that I simply and calmly tell her how things are going to be and end the discussion.  I say end of discussion and walk off.Which means all her back sass and attitude are no longer going to be heard. Once they figure out they cant push your buttons things get alot better, but this takes enormous self control on your part. Walking away from an intense argument or power strugle isn't always easy but it is what you have to do.Basically you have to take back control by refusing to let yourself get drawn into the strugle in the first place. Much like dealing with an abusive or controlling husband.

DA.big smile mini

EyEmTuRtLe
by Bronze Member on Sep. 17, 2011 at 1:25 AM

Pack her a backpack and hand her the phone. Simply say... "Wanna call the police. Go right ahead."

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