I got a phone call from the school today... Advice needed Update!
So this afternoon I got a phone call from the principal at my 16 year old's high school. He called to tell me my son walked out of detention. I asked why he was in detention and was told his last period class had detention because something went missing from the teacher's desk during that class and none of the students would admit to taking it. The principal also informed me that there will be a meeting Monday morning with him, my son and I.
When I got home from work I asked my son what happened. He said his teacher didn't tell them that they had to stay after class until the last 5 minutes of class. He told them teacher that he couldn't stay because he had to go pick up his little brother from school. The teacher told him that he didn't care and that he was staying. So he asked if he could at least call me so I could go get my youngest. He told him no so my son got up and left so he could go pick up his brother. He babysits his brothers before and after school, he walks them to school and then walks them home. My youngest is in kindergarten and all kindergartners needs to be signed in and out of the class for security purposes. Other than the parents there is only 2 others on the "safe list", which is my mom and my 16 year old.
I agree with the principal that he shouldn't of just left like he did but the teacher should have let him call me so I could have left work to get my youngest. So now we have a meeting with the principal and I'm not really sure what to do. If you were in this situation what would you do?
Update:
Before we went to the meeting I called the school to ask for the teacher to be at the meeting. The principal said he would be their. I then called my younger kids' school to see what would happen if someone was late picking their child up. They said they would wait 20 minutes after the bell then try to get a hold of the parents. If they couldn't get hold of the parents the would call whoever is listed on the "safe list" and the emergency contacts. If nobody answers after that the call the police and the police will either bring them to the station or to CPS. At the meeting we found out that the detention was 20 minutes long and it is about an 8 minute walk to the other school so if I wasn't available the police would have been called.
I also asked why my son was not allowed to call me and the teacher told me he said no because the office was already going to call all of the parents. But when he told my son no he didn't mention that. If he did my son wouldn't of left like he did. The principal said normally a student would get 1 day of an in school suspension for leaving detention but in this case there was lack of communication from the teacher so he is going to let it go but if it happens again he will have to serve the ISS. I also told the principal even if I get a call about the same day detention he won't be able to stay just in case I am busy at work and not near the phone and that I will need to know at least 24 hours in advance so I can make other arrangements or let my boss know I need to leave work early so I could go get my youngest. He agreed so hopefully that will happen next time.
I'm glad to hear you're not bashing the teacher and defending your son, even though the teacher was obviously in the wrong. So many parents want to stick of for their kids these days at the teacher's expense. If I were you I would go to the principle with an open mind, let your son explain what happened, and then ask the principle what would have been the best thing for your son to do under the circumstances. Obviously he's not a bad kid, or he wouldn't be so dedicated to picking up his little brother. Hopefully the teacher will see that. This doesn't have to be a bad experience, it could be a learning experience for all involved. Good luck!
wow, not being there at the time it is hard to say. was things the way you said or did your son cop an attitude that made the teacher think he was not telling the truth? Many veribles here. Maybe the teacher should have called the parent instead of letting the student. that way every base would be covered. And if my son/daughter was held after school I should be notified of that fact.
I have to say I disagree with the comments that you should go in ready to fight and defend your son. I agree the teacher is in the wrong, but you have nothing to gain by making a war out of it, and teaching your son he doesn't need to respect his teacher who he will have to sit in class with for the rest of the year. Parent's these days are WAY to quick to do this, and it's so damaging to order and respect in the classroom! I'm sure your son is aware that people--even adults and teachers--make mistakes, and that we can all learn from it, but you still expect him to be respectful in class.
No, I didn't punish him and I never said I wasn't proud of him
Quoting ProudMommy0929:
i really hope you didnt punish your son for walkin out of class the way he did. The teacher was obviously just bein a jerk. There should've been no reason he couldnt @ least allow your son to call you...or the teacher could've called you himself. You said your son explained to the teacher that he needed to pick up his brother. There was no excuse for the teacher actin the way he did. As far as the whole principal thing...you should defend your son's actions. He sounds like a good kid who was just tryna make sure his brother was taken care of and that you didnt stress about how/who was gonna pick him up. It was the teacher's fault and your son shouldnt have to be punished cuz the teacher is incompetent. Good for your son. He was more worried about your younger son and you stressin than he was about the consequences of walkin out of that classroom. Im proud of him...even if you're not. He did a good thing and shouldnt get in trouble for it. And that's wat you should tell the principal.
This is why people get frustrated with education. They think they are the final word. Your son did the right thing by leaving. I believe the teacher was out of line. If no one steps up sometimes you need to give the kids a litle space and the culprit or someone who knows who did will step up but not in front of everyone else. We need to realize that at this age they do not want to "rat" out their peers. It just does not happen.
If I were you, and thankfully I'm not, but I would pray about it over the weekend. I would also try to figure out a plan where no one is the bad guy, but this should 'never' happen again. You will either be mad and want to 'Right Fight' or God will place the solution in your heart. Hopefully the school your younger child attends would have notified you immediately upon discovery. My Grand Mother always said it takes a village to raise a child. A Christain Village that is. I'm going to ask God to help you through it. ps God reads Knee Mail. ;) GP
First of all, I would bring up the fact that my son is a citizen of the United States of America and in our constitution, people are innocent until proven guilty, NOT the other way around. I understand the teacher's frustration, but it is not fair to hold an entire class hostage for something only one person may have done. The teacher may have only notice this thing missing during this hour. If it were something really important, he should have been responsible for keeping track of it. It would have been more fair if he had all students empty their pockets or bags. Those who refused could have stayed after. Since he informed the teacher of why he needed to make the call, he should have granted that. Being a teacher, he should have had enough respect for the kindergarden teacher to be informed of this situation. What would your youngest son have thought if no one was there to get him? What would his school have done? Some schools call the parents, but others call child services. Last time I checked, punishments were supose to be for things school employees have a valid reason to believe a student has done, not what someone in a group of students may or may not have done. School officials are also supose to care about the welfare of children. This would INCLUDE the welfare of your youngest son who needed his brother to get him. Under certain circumstances, children are allowed to serve punishments at a scheduled time due to these responsibilities in order to give the family time to make necessary arrangements, or the student is allowed to call someone who can. The teacher has shown a lack of respect for the needs of one of his students (your son) which effects the well being of another student (your youngest). How are students supose to learn to show compassion and respect for other when their so called role modles (teachers) are not showing them any compassion or respect?
No he hasn't had any problems at school before this
Quoting HBBUE:
First the other people are correct. Look in the school's student handbook regarding detention and forms of punishment. See what the guidelines are and go from there.
Second I hate to ask this but have there been any other incidents with your son at school? If there have your position could be comprimised.
Third have the kindergarden verify in writing that your son picks up his younger brother.
Last but not least don't be afraid to use words like attorney and school board.
Do you expect academic excellence from your kids? POLL Added
- AliSingleMom4
on Nov. 4, 2011 at 10:07 PM