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I got a phone call from the school today... Advice needed Update!

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 So this afternoon I got a phone call from the principal at my 16 year old's high school. He called to tell me my son walked out of detention. I asked why he was in detention and was told his last period class had detention because something went missing from the teacher's desk during that class and none of the students would admit to taking it. The principal also informed me that there will be a meeting Monday morning with him, my son and I.

When I got home from work I asked my son what happened. He said his teacher didn't tell them that they had to stay after class until the last 5 minutes of class. He told them teacher that he couldn't stay because he had to go pick up his little brother from school. The teacher told him that he didn't care and that he was staying. So he asked if he could at least call me so I could go get my youngest. He told him no so my son got up and left so he could go pick up his brother. He babysits his brothers before and after school, he walks them to school and then walks them home. My youngest is in kindergarten and all kindergartners needs to be signed in and out of the class for security purposes. Other than the parents there is only 2 others on the "safe list", which is my mom and my 16 year old.

I agree with the principal that he shouldn't of just left like he did but the teacher should have let him call me so I could have left work to get my youngest. So now we have a meeting with the principal and I'm not really sure what to do. If you were in this situation what would you do?


 Before we went to the meeting I called the school to ask for the teacher to be at the meeting. The principal said he would be their. I then called my younger kids' school to see what would happen if someone was late picking their child up. They said they would wait 20 minutes after the bell then try to get a hold of the parents. If they couldn't get hold of the parents the would call whoever is listed on the "safe list" and the emergency contacts. If nobody answers after that the call the police and the police will either bring them to the station or to CPS. At the meeting we found out that the detention was 20 minutes long and it is about an 8 minute walk to the other school so if I wasn't available the police would have been called.

 I also asked why my son was not allowed to call me and the teacher told me he said no because the office was already going to call all of the parents. But when he told my son no he didn't mention that. If he did my son wouldn't of left like he did. The principal said normally a student would get 1 day of an in school suspension for leaving detention but in this case there was lack of communication from the teacher so he is going to let it go but if it happens again he will have to serve the ISS. I also told the principal even if I get a call about the same day detention he won't be able to stay just in case I am busy at work and not near the phone and that I will need to know at least 24 hours in advance so I can make other arrangements or let my boss know I need to leave work early so I could go get my youngest. He agreed so hopefully that will happen next time.

by on Nov. 4, 2011 at 10:07 PM
Replies (481-486):
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:14 PM

Hopefully, there isn't a next time...  

Glad you were able to express your concerns, and have a plan in place just in case tho.

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:12 PM

Good for you  : )  It sounds like your son does not usually get detention and with the mis-communication and responsibilty issues addressed there shouldn't be a next time.  You handeled the situation great.  Yeah AllsingleMom4!!!  : )

by on Nov. 12, 2011 at 2:46 AM

I absoultely think your son did the right thing, not only that, he proved himself to be a very selfless and dutiful son and brother by putting his brother's safety over his own situation by risking further discipline rather than just staying to avoid problems for himself. What a refreshing young man! You obviously did a good job raising him and taught him to have the right priorities:)

way to go

by on Nov. 16, 2011 at 4:37 PM

Sounds like the teacher was just pissed off and being unperfesional to me. Sounds like your son is very responsible to me. I think at 16 yrs old the teacher should not have punished every student. How did someone steal from him anyway, did he leave the classroom. If so then he really had no right to punish everyone. This is something you do to younger kids not teenagers. I would have been way more upset that he got in trouble anyway, sounds like the teacher was just throwing a fit. What was stolen anyway, if it was that important than it should have been in a locked draw. 

by on Nov. 16, 2011 at 4:41 PM

I meant **unprofesional. And let me clarify I don't think they should not have been punished, just think it really did no good, cuz the theif would sit fhere for 20 mins and then leave and not think twice most likely. SO I guess I don't agree that it was worth all the trouble, but could understand it as well. And I still think he was just mad and should have calmed down and think first.

by on Nov. 28, 2011 at 7:14 PM

 Sorry I haven't had the chance to get back to this thread.   I did NOT say "LAW" I said by-laws.  Each school district creats by-laws, which means their policies.  You stated that "the last time you checked most schools..........".  I asked you how you were able to check "most schools".  Why is that rude?   The part I put in specific quotation marks was directed at you.  I did not say that YOU said anything about Saturday detention.  that was supposed to be a separate paragraph, but evidently, it did not turn out that way.

Quoting Dancey30:


Quoting Lori_H:

Lori_H  I will say to you as you did so very NOT so kindly :-) I mean you no repremand...BUT you said exactly what I said in my response.  You just put it in different words.  AND I NEVER ONCE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT SATURDAY SCHOOL!!  You may shove that statement up your hiney.  HOwever I did say MOST!!! Not ALL  and TYPICALLY (sorry i didn't put that in there was I supposed to?? is that Lori's law??) School Districts to adopt a notice REGULATION (mind you I never said LAW) for a child to take to a partent.  Granted I graduated school 20 yrs ago, but I also have a son graduating highschool this year and one in the 8th grade.  PLUS my mother was a school teacher for 32 years.  Every school I went to in CALIFORNIA had to send a notice home if I was to stay after so the parents could make appropriate arrangments,  that I do remember because yes I had detention AFTER SCHOOL.   And now in the state TEXAS, my kids can not stay after school without us parents having a days notice for us to prepare for alternate transportation or pick up times.  NOT all parents have the luxury (as I do) of picking thier child up everyday after school.  A LOT of kids ride the bus.  OH MY INFORMATION on A LOT of kids ride the bus.  I can see them getting picked up in front of my hosue AND the many many buses that run around NOT CITY OR COLLEGE BUSSES BUT BIG YELLOW SCHOOL BUSES!!! Now you may take your words chew them up and decided what else you will try and turn  on me :-)  Have a wonderful Day!


I totally agree with the mom in this situation, but I have to ask you, exactly how were you able to "check" that "most schools can't keep kids after school without notifying parents"?  Where is that written?   Sorry, but that's just not the case.  Every school district makes up their own by-laws, rules and guidelines. In my state alone there are over 125 different school districts, each one with their own policies.  I know of no school in my surrounding area, (not just our own district), that conducts Saturday detentions. 


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