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MY 16Y.O DAUGHTER LOST INTEREST IN SCHOOL, SHE WANTS TO DROP OUT.

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 11:51 PM
  • 21 Replies

  MY 16 YO DAUGHTER IS FAILING IN HER JUNIOR YEAR CLASSES , SHE WANTS TO DROP OUT OF SCHOOL. HER ONLY INTEREST IS HER BOYFRIEND, WHO SHE STATES SHE TRUST MORE THAN HER MOM.  SHE LIES AND RATIONALIZE EVERY BAD BEHAVIOR.  I WANT TO ASK HER TO STOP SEEING THIS BOYFRIEND , HOWEVER, I AM AFRAID SHE MAY SNAP.  PLEASE, DOES ANYONE HAS any advice.

by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 11:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
chaimamma
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 12:40 AM

I can't believe that no one has replied to this. That is a hard one. I don't know where you live but if there is a YWCA they sometimes have groups that can help her. They also have ones filled with criminal women that probably dropped out of school themselves, kind of a scare her straight type of thing??? I know trying to reason with a teen ager is very difficult. They can't see anything past what they want right now, what they think will make them happy or what is making them unhappy right now. I wish they knew how much their decision now will effect them throughout their lives. 

Well I am not sure if this will help but I have a rule that my kids have to be in school or working full time. If she wants to get her ged and get a full time job (although in this economy I am sure it will be difficult to say the least) then she could give it a go. If your town has alternative high schools then maybe she could try one of those? I have found that talking to teens that are having trouble in school, it isn't the school that is their trouble, it is the social aspect of school. Social connections as a teen are so crucial to everything about who they are and how they deal with the world. 

The boyfriend issue is entirely different. If you tell her to stop seeing him, she will probably rebel and see him anyway and make her situation and life much worse with rash decisions. If there is any way you can make him look bad to make her think less of him. I know it seems immature but they are teenagers, fight immaturaty with the like, maybe start a rumor on facebook that he is cheating or something that she would find repulsive?

Maleac
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 1:08 AM

As far as school.. .. have you thought about online high school for her?  I know in our state ..kids can finish their high school years that way..They do all the school work that kids in public school do..the work gets monitered by a public school teacher and a laptop is provided for the school work to be completed on.

I agree about the boyfriend thing..I am sure that telling her to stop seeing him..will make her want to see him more....but I don't really have any advice on how to handle that..except maybe trying to get her involved in some activities without him...maybe he will move on if she is busy and can't spend as much time with him.

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atlmom2
by Susie on Dec. 4, 2011 at 1:22 AM

She wouldn't have a choice if she were my dd.  Does she know what a life she would have being a dropout?  Probably living on welfare. 

What about some counseling?  Sounds like there are more issues than just the boyfriend and her wanting to drop out. 

02nana07
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 1:38 AM
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 1st get the boyfriend to visit and let him know if she drops out she will not have time for him as she will be working full time to pay rent, utilities and food.  If she wants to act like an adult she will be paying her way.  She will not be moving out until she is 18 but will not stay there for free if she isn't in school. 

I let all mine know dropping out wasn't an option and even the one who hated school at one point graduated so stand firm and don't back down.  Tell them if her grades don't come up she will be so busy studying and meeting with a tutor she won't have time for him as she will be going to bed early to get the rest she needs to be prepared for school. 

02nana07
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 1:39 AM

 Alternative school might also be an option to get her grades brought up you might check into that.

MoreMia
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 1:48 AM

Oh Jesus. *Be nice Mia, be nice..* She wouldn't have a choice. NO. WAY. She'd be dropping out of HS. You're the mom, she's the child. not the other way around. If you think her BF is in the way of her school work and you don't like him, or he's a bad influence, etc. She wouldn't be dating him. School comes first. Easy as that. 

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SoonMrsLighty
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 1:56 AM
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Let me state one thing first off, Dropping out nowadays is not as bad as what it used to be. Sure yoou won't get a high paying job, but you do have a chance to go back!

Now, Take it froma seventeen year old, school is worth it, tell her dropping out is not worth a boyfriend. She may say "he's the one but most likely we all know he isn't. I was to drop out when I turned eighteen, I was so tired of school, then I had a nice long talk with my teacher, he told me how he has seen so many people drop out and not make it, he said that one rare guy makes it, but rarely. Typically they DO end up on the streets, or sitting in YOUR basement for years! When I got pregnant it changed my life for the better, I got away from the bad crowds and got into a groove of getting my diploma!

Tell her you will TRY cyber school with her, that's what I do and i LOVE it! It makes it so much better to come and go whenever you want. But make sure you find a strict school (if your own high school does not offer cyber courses) because some schools won't care if you never do your school work. I did mine through a company to begin with, but they never kept up with deadlines and never pushed me, i hated it. Now i have a backbone and set dead lines. when i was in regular school, i had D's. literally i now have A's.

Also, to clear a myth, you do NOT have to pay for cyber! If you have ANY type of internet acces at your house you're set! I hope my story will help a little!(:  I know it's probably a bit off topic, but hey i am seventeen! LOL!

suesues
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2011 at 8:17 AM

I agree with everyone first talk or rather scare the shit out of the boyfriend maybe her dad can talk to him and let her know its not her choice must go to school by the way what is her plan if she drops out

I would take her by the hand or pull her by her hair to schoolevery day nomatter what  and call school maybe a guaidence counselor can help

 

PurpleHazey
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 8:21 AM

Do not let her, you are her parent and put your foot down, until she is 18 you have the say so.

PurpleHazey
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 8:22 AM


Quoting suesues:

I agree with everyone first talk or rather scare the shit out of the boyfriend maybe her dad can talk to him and let her know its not her choice must go to school by the way what is her plan if she drops out

I would take her by the hand or pull her by her hair to schoolevery day nomatter what  and call school maybe a guaidence counselor can help

 

Yes this.

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