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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

How do I become the house where teens hang out & what kind of rules should be in place?

Posted by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 7:07 PM
  • 87 Replies

I have four sons between ages of 10-20, two are in middle school, and I would like to become the house where the kids hang out.  My oldest didn't really have a lot of friends and they didn't hang out here much.  However, my middle school boys have a lot of friends, both boys & girls. 

How do I become the house where the teens want to hang out, and what kind of rules do you recommend? 

I didn't grow up in a house like this, and so I'm not sure what to do to encourage and build the welcoming yet safe environment.  Also, what kind of communication should I have with the other parents?

All ideas are welcome...thanks!

MegaMom99

by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 7:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
amberdy
by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 7:09 PM
My 13 yo dd said have good food aka crap, LOL. My kids complain because we don't have junk food.
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MegaMom99
by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 7:20 PM
1 mom liked this

good idea!  I took my 13 year old to the grocery store with me and let him pick out the food, and yes it was junk...chips, dip, cookies, soda, etc.

FabDarling
by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 7:21 PM
13 moms liked this

 first thing you have to ask yourself is do you really WANT TO BE that house???? 

it comes with its costs.  first off - i'm that house.  i love it don't get me wrong - but there are lots of times i don't really wanna be ON or have my house infested with teenaged girlee drama.

if you are ready for the long days and nights where you are the constant maid, confidant, police and chef (LOL).......then the best way to start off is to let your kids know the house is "open"......tell them they can have their firends over and give them the rules as to 'hours of operation".

Best way to start things off might be to let them throw a little party of some kind at your home. 

if that goes well  - you really just need to keep the house stocked with munchies and comfortable.  a place of their own to hang out works good too......aka - a finished basement etc.....so you can still have a little peace and quiet.

as far as the other parents go......the younger the kids the more you need.....but all in all - let the other parents set the tone for that.  some might want to start to form a bond with you (lots of parents find new  friends thru their kids - i know i have)....some might really just wanna drop off and pick up.

at the end of the day.....there's nothing set in ston as to how some families have 'that' house and some just don't.  i think some people are more comfortable with crowds of kids and some rather not deal with it.  but i personally would let your own kids set the tone for the get togethers.......let em know it's all good with you.......but let them tell you what they want or expect when their friends get there.

 

02nana07
by Ida on Dec. 31, 2011 at 7:35 PM
2 moms liked this

 Be careful what you ask for you might get it LOL.

Junk food, the latest video games, musical instruments, computers or whatever the kids in your area are interested in.  

You can decide on the rules just make sure they don't do anything illegal or immoral or you could be held responsible. 

Your boys can help you decide what needs to happen because they know their friends interests.

lauriebash
by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 7:52 PM

 We were "that house". UGH. I liked it for a while, then I just stopped buying food, and the crowd thinned out over time. I just needed rest! The game room was always LOUD. I have boys, but both boys and girls were here.  Girls are just as loud, if not louder than the boys. The driveway traffic, the loud music, videos, table tennis, darts, running up and down the stairs for food. it all just got to be too much. Now, I really like my son's friends (well, most of them), but I was SO ready to stop being "that house".

 Lots of food, video games, whatever they like to do. I loved know where my kids were. But, it comes with a price.

CharityS
by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 7:58 PM
2 moms liked this
We were that house, my 2 oldest are 26 and 24 actually at times we are still that house. The kids will still stop by to say hi, hunt in our woods or just to check out the fridge LOL. The kids actually just sorts grew up here so they knew the rules and followed them. They even had chores.
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FabDarling
by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 8:00 PM
4 moms liked this

 ^^^^^ the chores thing is a good idea.  let em know that they do have to clean up after themselves (especially mid to older teens)....this way it's not always YOUR job to clean up the total mess.

 

MegaMom99
by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 8:18 PM
6 moms liked this

great advice..thanks ladies.  I just spoke with my Mom and she said that when we finish the basement this summer, to let the kids (mine & their friends) paint the hang out room in the colors they want so they feel pride in ownership of the space.  Then when they're done painting, super impose the house rules on the walls in varying font and letter size.  House rules like: be respectful, be greatful, be honest, be helpful, clean up after yourself, no smoking, no swearing, no spitting, no fighting, know that you are loved, and my favorite one...walk in a manner worthy of your calling, etc.

lesleydee
by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 8:20 PM
1 mom liked this

i used to be that house till i had sneaky kids pretending they were all good use my computer to look at porn broke my new ceiling panels tried to sneak my son out at 2 am and various other things that they did! they trashed my new basement broke the bed and their moms all said no not my child! so i ended up replacing it all, then they stole my sons bike, and who i thought was a sweet girl was showing  her breasts to all the boys...you cant have eyes all over the house so i thought thats it no more!!!!!! now im the mean mom lol..

MrsBLB
by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 8:29 PM

I love this!  Very cool!!!

Quoting MegaMom99:

great advice..thanks ladies.  I just spoke with my Mom and she said that when we finish the basement this summer, to let the kids (mine & their friends) paint the hang out room in the colors they want so they feel pride in ownership of the space.  Then when they're done painting, super impose the house rules on the walls in varying font and letter size.  House rules like: be respectful, be greatful, be honest, be helpful, clean up after yourself, no smoking, no swearing, no spitting, no fighting, know that you are loved, and my favorite one...walk in a manner worthy of your calling, etc.


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