See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
i'm a 32 yr old single mother of two girls, 10 and 13. it seems recently my 13 yr old has given up. she has been to school 3 days out of the last month. she has no interest in anything that doesn't involve hanging out with her friends. we moved to newark de from a small farm town in maryland in aug and she had to start a new school. before moving we discussed it a lot and we agreed together to do it so it's not like i yanked her away from her life against her will and made her move. it was a decision we agreed on as a family. i go to school in newark and she wanted to pursue dancing and the place we used to live had no where for her to do that. she started dancing at a school close to where we live then decided she didn't like it and quit and said she wanted to find a new dance school so i told her after the holidays we would find her another school. also the middle school that she went to when we first moved she hated. she said she was being harrassed by some boys and the school is very different than what she has been used to. she went from a school of about 300-400 students to a school of 1,400 and its been a bit of a culture shock for her, so i switched her to a different school, which she said she liked better and she was actually making some friends but now she is back to refusing to go to school. idk what to do. i have taken away her priveledges and not allowed her to go back to our hometown on weekends to visit her friends hoping that would motivate her to get up and go to school to regain those priveledges but it doesn't work. she just sits in her room and reads or lays in bed. i know the work isn't too hard for her because she has always been in advanced classes and scored advanced on all testing she has done and she has said that the stuff they do at her new school in 8th grade is equivalent to stuff the did in 6th and 7th grade at home. she made a new friend and has been skating and over to the girls house to spend time so i don't think she is a total outcast at her new school. she has come home a few times and said that most of the kids at her new school talk about having sex and doing drugs and that she can't believe kids her age actually do that and that its so different than home. i am not really worried about her getting involved in any of that because she has seen her father abuse drugs and has no relationship with him because of that and i was a teenager when i had her so i have always been very open with her about sex and the risks involved. she is very smart, level headed and well informed for her age so i don't worry about her getting into anything like that. up until recently she has had big plans and goals for her future. i have bipolar disoder and am prone to depression myself so i initially thought maybe she was leaning toward depression also, but i don't think that's the case either because the only issue we have is school. she is not otherwise typically depressed. she still acts like her normal self other than the complete refusal to go to school. she has asked to be homeschooled but honestly i can't afford that. i hate sitting here watching her throw all her potential away. it's breaking my heart and i don't know how to help her.