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When did you/will you have the sex talk with your kids?

Posted by on Jan. 14, 2012 at 7:40 PM
  • 30 Replies

I got a call from my 12 year olds DS's best friend's mom and she told me that my son had something to her son about sex and that their son had come to them and asked them what it meant and that they hadn't talked to their son about that yet and did not want him to know anything about it, so to tell him not to say another word about it. In fact, she said it kind of rudely as though me and my DH were wrong for having the sex talk with him when he was 10. Not that I would say anything to them and I know it's none of my business but don't you think 7th graders and almost 13 year olds should have had that talk with their parents or know what sex is?

and when did you plan or do you plan on having that talk with your kids?

by on Jan. 14, 2012 at 7:40 PM
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by Grumpy on Jan. 14, 2012 at 7:49 PM

I've been having it since they were toddlers.  It started out with good touch, bad touch and ended up with a full blown sex talk about puberty.

by on Jan. 14, 2012 at 7:51 PM
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It is hardly "a talk". This is a series of conversations beginning practically at birth, by teaching children the proper names for body parts and their functions.

Unless your child lives in a bubble, sex is everywhere, especially on the playground and school bus. I would rather a child learns information from an adult, than misinformation from another child

by on Jan. 14, 2012 at 7:53 PM

As they grew up, not a certain age or time.  Little at a time

by on Jan. 14, 2012 at 8:12 PM

Like the other ladies have said, yes, little by little.  But I will say by 7th grade, they should have FULL information, both boys and girls.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2012 at 8:41 PM

It's been an ongoing conversation with my kids for years.  They are 11 and 13 and they ask me anything and I give them truthful answers that Im sure they pass along to their uninformed friends....That mom sounds off her rocker if she thinks not talking to her 12 year old about sex is somehow going to protect him and keep him innocent....

by on Jan. 14, 2012 at 8:55 PM
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Gosh, I have told my 13 yr. old son about std's, showed him pics, explained about pregnancy and responsibility, appropriateness of pda's, gentlemanly behavior, dangers of porn, aggressiveness of girls, birth control, and also keeping his focus on schoolwork, family and friends, using his sexual energy in constructive ways...sports, and his music. We started talking a bit at a time, like really 5 minutes here, 10 minutes there...and still are talking...he's seen his older sister navigate the dating territory with all it's full blown drama, angst and joy. Every kid is different, and I am lucky he is so easy to talk to, and receptive.

by Emily on Jan. 14, 2012 at 9:15 PM

bit by bit as young children and by the time they were nine at the oldest they knew exactly how their bodies worked and how babies came.Eventually that evolved in the tween years and continues currently into respecting yourself and respecting others messages.

Funny...our youngest is only a year younger than his older brother so we talked to them both ,we knew they would talk anyway.So at the start of second grade for my youngest I get a call from a friend.Her son is friends with my youngest.Her son had gotten into their car and started explaining in correct and proper terminology how babies are made...only problem she had a carpool of Kinder kids.She said she realized that we had had a chat but wanted to let us know her son said ours conducted class during recess and in carpool line.She was laughing and very nice about it.She also said we did a good job ,he was properly informed and used correct words are still good friends ; )

by Kimberly on Jan. 14, 2012 at 10:16 PM
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Since they were old enough to talk!  We've answered any and all questions since they began asking.  We believe in open communication.  Neither Dh or I are shy or uncomfortable discussing sex.  They were well educated on sex by the end of grade school.

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 12:25 AM

 Early and often. I started going a little more in depth when SD was in 5th grade. (although not FULLY in depth lol) And added a bit here and there every few months. We have at least 1 big talk annually.

It all started when another mom of a kid similar aged as SD told me some things her son told her. I knew right then it was time to really start talking. I spoke with BM about it before talking to SD, and BM swore that SD was the biggest dork, and didn't know any of that stuff yet. SD is far from dorky. DH and I discussed it, and We decided she needed to start getting info from somewhere, and if BM was gonna choose to be in denial, I better get started. I think BM followed suit a couple years later.

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 12:28 AM
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I never started or stopped...I just answered any and all questions all along the way...made sure there were age-appropriate books around at all times. When my DD was 9 or 10 I bought her three books on her body and its coming changes...We've had many talks. She looks at the books whenever she has questions (is 16 now). I don't think my DD can remember a time when she didn't know the facts of life.

Personally I don't think anyone has the right to keep a child in ignorance about anything to do with their body. Ignorance is a very dangerous thing. Knowledge is how people become responsible about their bodies.

Guess that all sounds sort of preachy, but I don't understand why people withhold basic information.  

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