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Do you ever go to far?

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:28 AM
  • 9 Replies

Do you ever feel that you punished in the heat of the moment and regret it?  Perhaps the the punishment didn't fit the crime?

Those of you with more than one kid, when you cannot figure out which one did it do you punish both or none?

When you do regret it (if you do), do you stand your ground or do you forgive and forget?

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:28 AM
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Replies (1-9):
lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:11 AM
Yes I have.when I did I then went apologized and changed the punishment.
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jespeach
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:18 AM

There were a couple of times when we were in an untenable situation when my frustration and anger got the better of me. I did regret it, and I apologized to my daughter, explained why I thought it happened, and told her that even though I overreacted, it didn't mean that what she did was okay. She told me recently that she respected me more because I could admit when I was wrong, so I feel I did the right thing.

ame4c
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:14 AM
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 I have a standard rule that punishment doesn't get dealt until everyone has a cooling off period (mostly for me).  I puposely do this because my brother and I were often beat as kids and their is no reason for that.  I do believe there is a time and place for spankings (got ripped in another post for calling it ass whoopins...LOL), but NEVER spank out of anger and NEVER do it in the heat of the moment.  Now going overboard on other types of punishments is easy to do as well, so this is why we have the cooling off period.  Then we come back and discuss what went wrong, maybe why it happened, and what they should have done, all on top of what punishment is going to be handed out.

In my house, we have a ghost named Wilber that often does things to get the kids into trouble.  Yes, I punish all of them if wilber does it, because someone is not fessing up and possibly others are covering for them.  Kids generally work this out on their own.

There is nothing wrong with telling your kid that your human too and you've made a mistake.  I have appologized to my kids when I've been wrong.  It teaches them that 1 that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes 2 that you need to accept when you are wrong and deal with it.

PosinourHarmony
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:15 AM
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I have....I've apologized and changed the punishment if it didn't fit the crime. When I can't figure out which one did it then everyone gets punished. If you didn't do it then you better make the one who did confess....my boys know I will punish everyone in the house til I find out who did it!

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:37 AM

I have. If/when it happens I apologize and change the punishment.


fammatthews4
by Trisha on Jan. 15, 2012 at 7:12 AM

I don't think I ever have punished in the heat of the moment.  As far as knowing who did or not, I have on child that is honest to a fault so if he says he didn't do it I believe him, because he would admit it if he had, so I know it's DD and if she lied about it it's double punishment.

JenniferSq
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:19 AM

Oh yes I have.  Particularly with my middle son.   When he was 12 I found a condom wrapper in his pants pocket and I freaked and jumped to conclusions.  Turns out another kid took the condom from his Dad's room and they were  blowing it up and filling it with sand and rocks.  I apologized and was very frank with him in expressing my concerns and why I reacted the way I did.  Being the parent of a teen is very much a learning experience.  I do much better now when things come up.  Admitting I overreacted to my son helped our relationship and improved our communication.

luckysevenwow
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:12 AM

Yeah, and I always apologize. Hasn't happened often thankfully but I am only human.

If more then one child is involved they all get in trouble, it doesn't matter who did what cause if I have learned anything it is that no one is innocent. One may not have done as much as another but they were there....guilty by association.

atlmom2
by Susie on Jan. 15, 2012 at 12:08 PM

No, most of the time the punishment fits the crime or is too lenient.  I would never regret a punishment. 

To me, if you can't figure out what happened you don't do anything unless it was something awful, like the garage burned down and you don't know which kid did it.  IF they were both home and no one will admit it they would get punished. 

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