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Do you reward or punish?

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:40 AM
  • 28 Replies
What kind of grades do you expect? How do you reward/punish for your teens grades?

My daughter made honner roll want to reward her not sure how

My step daughter got a 1.8 and isent being punushed at all

Just trying to understand both sides
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:40 AM
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by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:06 AM
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 We try to do both, but definatley punish when grades are not up.  Rewards come if it's in the budget.   We try to do something for the kids, but it's not always possible.  It's usually something they've been wanting, like a video game or whatever.  We don't get too expensive with the rewards.  I've taken them to the movies as a reward, or something as simple as going for ice cream.  It really depends on what we can afford at the time. 

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:11 AM

1.8? Wow!?!? She wouldn't be going anywhere or doing anything! Coming home from school and doing homework and studying....she'd be grounded for the whole 9 weeks! I don't expect straight A's but I don't expect all D's and E's either! That's just crazy! Is she just lazy or does she need someone help and no one realizes it? Cause if that's the case then get this child some help! My boys are not straight A students and that's fine cause I know they try their best. They both usually bring home A's and B's with some C's and that is fine. I reward with money usually....$20 for every A &15 for every B and $10 for every C.

by Gold Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:12 AM

For us it isn't the letter grade as much as the effort grade. Our system is 1 = awesome effort 5 almost no effort. I my sons give 1 or 2 effort and still make a C or D, then we hire a tutor. If they got below 1 or 2   we made them seek extra help from the teachers after or before school. For great report card or great midterm reports we usually celebrated by going out to dinner.

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 7:23 AM
My thought process is that I have seen what they can do and so I know what I can expect out of them. That being said...if they just sit in class and listen they can bring home C's. If they make somewhat of an effort, B's if they study and do their homework, A's. Absolutely no D's or F's or car keys are gone until the grade is up and all work is turned in.

I've only had to do this once this year because my honor roll DS wanted to try and wean himself off of his ADHD meds and it was a struggle at first. I gave him time to adjust and then had to put the smack down. He ended up going back on a way lower dose and is now getting A's & B's and great reports from teachers. :)
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by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 7:27 AM
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Rather than pay allowance, we have a system of payments for grades; this includes a bonus for honor roll, a bonus for raising a grade, and a penalty for grades going down.

  • AP A 30
  • Honors/regular A 20
  • B 10
  • C 0
  • D -10
  • F -20
  • decrease -20
  • increase +10
  • honor roll (based on weighted GPA) 20
  • principal scholar (based on unweighted GPA) 10 
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:00 AM

I rarely need to punish my girls - their behaviour is pretty good.  Their grades are also awesome, they hate getting a C and never get below that.  They prefer As and work accordingly to get them.  Rewards are usually something intangible like a hug and telling them how proud I am of their achievements.  Punishments are similar with me telling them how disappointed I am that they let themselves down so badly.  My girls hate to disappoint me so they avoid that at all costs.

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:27 AM
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we don't reward for good grades just give praise. But we sure as hell punish for anything lower than a C.
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by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:29 AM

My kids get rewarded and never punished becaue my kids comes from a family of disibilities. My son has mild mental retardation and has alot of disibilities and also had speech from age 3 to like the 7th grade. He still has problems but 100% better. So we never punish for bad grades, only make sure they get them up! As for other things like the car if Zach does something wrong the car gets taken away.

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:31 AM

Ok I dont really do either.. My rule is as long as you try your best and put forth a great effort.. My parents would paddle me and grounde me if I ever brought anything lower than a B home.. I refuse to do that.. Plus my dd is special needs so she doesnt get the A,B, C report cards.. I judge how she is doing by her goals on her IEP.. No progress made I talk to her and consult her teacher.. IF I find out she is not trying her best, not completing work then I punish.. She just got Student of the Month so she got rewarded with a trip to McDonalds and a new toy from the dollar store.. (Im pretty broke this month lol).. 

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:40 AM

I don't reward as in money. Compliments and hugs and I am proud of you is very important to my kids(BTW I say it or show it not just when good on report card). Also a sweet tea at McDonalds is a family fave. LOL

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