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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Well, now I have to buy everybody a car!!

Posted by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 9:58 PM
  • 124 Replies

 I'm the mother of a one year old. I dont have teenagers, and I wont pretend like I know too much about that. I came to this group because it has something to do with teenagers... didnt know where to put it.

 

I have heard, in big families with older children, people say, "I cant buy you a car! Pfft! There are 4 other (or 5, or 6) other people. If I buy YOU a car, I have to buy EVERYONE a car..."

What kind of shit is that?? YOU had those children, so YOU need to provide whatever they deserve. If you had only had 1 or 2, you would do it,  but since you like f*cking you had a million and cant afford to treat your well bahaved teen with something that might benefit you all.

Is that unfair, or did I just come from a small family and I dont get it?

 

EDIT: You know, a couple of posters have brought to my attention that my language and the way I expressed my question, may have been offensive. If you have read this post, and consider it offensive, I apologize. It's just the way I talk. I try and walk a fine line between expressing myself in the way I want, ad getting people to hear my ideas.

Also, it could be a car, or a bike, or a rubber ducky. FROM MY EXPERIENCE AND WHAT I HAVE PERSONALLY WITNESSED, some parents of multiple children say that as an explination for why they dont want to buy something, or cant. I think it just SOUNDS unfair. Children dont need everything they want. But if your child has a specific request of something they seem to earn by their behavior, why not give it a shot, and not blame their siblings?

by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 9:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mrswillie
by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 10:02 PM
9 moms liked this

Wow! We (dh & I) do not hand out cars! it is part of building responsibility.  TO get their license, they have to have 2 months insurance in the bank plus one month up front. 

Btw...we have 3 kids graduated high school, 2 with honors. Our oldest, just turned 23 and is looking to buy a house. We must be doing something right.

I think, you, as a mother of a one year old, do not know what you are talking about!

PortiaRose
by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 10:03 PM

 oh, dont be rude. it was an honest question.

I learned how to drive and got a car. I was a decent student. It helped everyone... but my brother was 5 at the time...

Quoting mrswillie:

Wow! We (dh & I) do not hand out cars! it is part of building responsibility.  TO get their license, they have to have 2 months insurance in the bank plus one month up front. 

Btw...we have 3 kids graduated high school, 2 with honors. Our oldest, just turned 23 and is looking to buy a house. We must be doing something right.

I think, you, as a mother of a one year old, do not know what you are talking about!

 

twinstartermom
by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 10:08 PM
1 mom liked this

Don't know. All I know is that I came from a small family and didn't get squat in the way of a car or license. The only thing I got remotely close to a license is a half hour in the car with my mother and a promise of a car. So far it has taken 9 years and me getting married to get behind a wheel for longer than a half hour.

Not_A_Native
by Bronze Member on Jan. 17, 2012 at 10:10 PM
3 moms liked this

Well, we gave our kids cars to drive.  They weren't theirs, until they graduated from college.  Actually, long story since I have 4 kids.  The youngest - 17 - drives our truck.   It is the "learner" vehicle.  Next one up, we bought her a Ford Focus, she's at college.  Next one up, we bought her a car (Subaru) when she graduated from collee (no need for her to have one while attending, as she was in NYC).  Oldest, we made the mistake and actually GAVE him a truck at high school graduation, which he promptly sold.  Never again.

On the other hand, I only had one sibling (a brother 8 years younger) and my parents didn't give me anything.  And they could have.  And no, I'm not bitter (sarcasm).

mrswillie
by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 10:11 PM
5 moms liked this


Quoting PortiaRose:

 oh, dont be rude. it was an honest question.

I learned how to drive and got a car. I was a decent student. It helped everyone... but my brother was 5 at the time...

Quoting mrswillie:

Wow! We (dh & I) do not hand out cars! it is part of building responsibility.  TO get their license, they have to have 2 months insurance in the bank plus one month up front. 

Btw...we have 3 kids graduated high school, 2 with honors. Our oldest, just turned 23 and is looking to buy a house. We must be doing something right.

I think, you, as a mother of a one year old, do not know what you are talking about!

 

You call that a question?  You said, "What kind of shit is that?"  You also stared, "You had those children, so you need to provide what they deserve".  

I provided what they deserved. I also helped build character & appreciation for hard work.

Again, we don't hand cars out.

I will add, oldest ds's first car was a s10 pick up. It was a beater he drove for a year. Then he bought a Mustang. After that he bought a Honda Civic with turbo, then SRT4 with turbo. Mind you, he just turned 23 this month. He is in the market, pre-approved, for a house.  I must have done something right.




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02nana07
by Ida on Jan. 17, 2012 at 10:14 PM
4 moms liked this

 I don't believe you should buy any of them a car instead you should match what they save towards a car and 1/2 the insurance for the 1st year after that they should be working and able to handle it on their own.  This gets them ready for the real world.  It teaches them to save for something they want and to live within their means. 

PortiaRose
by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 10:16 PM

 I'm not talking about you. ONLY people who say that. You seem like youre doing a great job (did!).

Quoting mrswillie:

 

Quoting PortiaRose:

 oh, dont be rude. it was an honest question.

I learned how to drive and got a car. I was a decent student. It helped everyone... but my brother was 5 at the time...

Quoting mrswillie:

Wow! We (dh & I) do not hand out cars! it is part of building responsibility.  TO get their license, they have to have 2 months insurance in the bank plus one month up front. 

Btw...we have 3 kids graduated high school, 2 with honors. Our oldest, just turned 23 and is looking to buy a house. We must be doing something right.

I think, you, as a mother of a one year old, do not know what you are talking about!

 

You call that a question?  You said, "What kind of shit is that?"  You also stared, "You had those children, so you need to provide what they deserve".  

I provided what they deserved. I also helped build character & appreciation for hard work.

Again, we don't hand cars out.

I will add, oldest ds's first car was a s10 pick up. It was a beater he drove for a year. Then he bought a Mustang. After that he bought a Honda Civic with turbo, then SRT4 with turbo. Mind you, he just turned 23 this month. He is in the market, pre-approved, for a house.  I must have done something right.



 

PortiaRose
by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 10:21 PM

 yeah, my parents shoulda done that. I worked and bought clothes with it.

Quoting 02nana07:

 I don't believe you should buy any of them a car instead you should match what they save towards a car and 1/2 the insurance for the 1st year after that they should be working and able to handle it on their own.  This gets them ready for the real world.  It teaches them to save for something they want and to live within their means. 

 

allornone
by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 10:22 PM
4 moms liked this

I will not buy my dd's cars.  My parents allowed us to use their cars. They paid for gas and insurance if we had a 3.0 GPA.  We had to buy our own cars.  I believe if you have to work and save for your car you will take better care of it.  I believe this is one of the places entitlement stems from. 

PortiaRose
by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 10:25 PM

 YES.

Quoting allornone:

I will not buy my dd's cars.  My parents allowed us to use their cars. They paid for gas and insurance if we had a 3.0 GPA.  We had to buy our own cars.  I believe if you have to work and save for your car you will take better care of it.  I believe this is one of the places entitlement stems from. 

 

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