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mom dealing with is 15 year old stepson

Posted by on Jan. 29, 2012 at 11:34 PM
  • 15 Replies

today my stepson and i went out shopping, on the way back (me being stressed cause i spend more money that i had.) asks me what i would think if him as being a dad?? i didnt think to much of it. (his dad my husband is 3 states away on a business trip) we get home unload the car. bring his girlfriend over and says here read this handing me a card saying we are sorry it was an accident with a ultrasound picture in it. INSANTLY i start crying, he says dont tell my dad we are keeping it a sercet, we can trust you. HOW IN THE WORLD CAN I NOT TELL MY HUSBAND. I AM PREGNANT MYSELF WITH OUR FIRST BABY!!! PLEASE HELP ME ON THIS

by on Jan. 29, 2012 at 11:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2012 at 11:38 PM

when is your husband due back ? If you cant hold out tell your stepson Sorry I need to tell your dad. Not to get you in  trouble but because this is a very big deal and he needs to know asap. expand on how you and dh don't keep secrets from each other. HUGS momma It will all work out.

lovingmommywife
by on Jan. 29, 2012 at 11:40 PM
This or u can say. As soon as ur dad gets home we ate sitting down with him and u are to tell him everything ciz this is a big deal.


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

when is your husband due back ? If you cant hold out tell your stepson Sorry I need to tell your dad. Not to get you in  trouble but because this is a very big deal and he needs to know asap. expand on how you and dh don't keep secrets from each other. HUGS momma It will all work out.


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bascha
by Member on Jan. 29, 2012 at 11:40 PM
1 mom liked this

Wow.  Yeah, that's a pretty tough one.  I think maybe I would sit them both down and talk to them about it first.  Tell them exactly WHY it's so important for his dad to know.  Tell them how much harder it's going to be, the longer they wait.  Make sure to tell them how happy  and honored you are to know that they trust you this way, but that you're just not sure HOW you can keep it from your DH.  Tell them the situation that they're putting you in by asking you to keep it a secret.  Just be sure to be kind and gentle about it, lest you lose their faith and trust.  I wish that I could help you more than this.  Good luck, and stay strong.

momofne
by on Jan. 29, 2012 at 11:51 PM

I agree! I personally feel like they are asking you to lie for them.

Quoting bascha:

Wow.  Yeah, that's a pretty tough one.  I think maybe I would sit them both down and talk to them about it first.  Tell them exactly WHY it's so important for his dad to know.  Tell them how much harder it's going to be, the longer they wait.  Make sure to tell them how happy  and honored you are to know that they trust you this way, but that you're just not sure HOW you can keep it from your DH.  Tell them the situation that they're putting you in by asking you to keep it a secret.  Just be sure to be kind and gentle about it, lest you lose their faith and trust.  I wish that I could help you more than this.  Good luck, and stay strong.


bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Jan. 30, 2012 at 5:21 AM
I agree with this. (((Hugs)))

Quoting bascha:

Wow.  Yeah, that's a pretty tough one.  I think maybe I would sit them both down and talk to them about it first.  Tell them exactly WHY it's so important for his dad to know.  Tell them how much harder it's going to be, the longer they wait.  Make sure to tell them how happy  and honored you are to know that they trust you this way, but that you're just not sure HOW you can keep it from your DH.  Tell them the situation that they're putting you in by asking you to keep it a secret.  Just be sure to be kind and gentle about it, lest you lose their faith and trust.  I wish that I could help you more than this.  Good luck, and stay strong.

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fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Jan. 30, 2012 at 7:38 AM

So your 15 yr old step son got a woman pregnant and does not want you to tell your husband?  I'm sorry I would tell my steps on I couldn't keep that secret.

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Jan. 30, 2012 at 9:39 AM


Quoting momofne:

I agree! I personally feel like they are asking you to lie for them.

Quoting bascha:

Wow.  Yeah, that's a pretty tough one.  I think maybe I would sit them both down and talk to them about it first.  Tell them exactly WHY it's so important for his dad to know.  Tell them how much harder it's going to be, the longer they wait.  Make sure to tell them how happy  and honored you are to know that they trust you this way, but that you're just not sure HOW you can keep it from your DH.  Tell them the situation that they're putting you in by asking you to keep it a secret.  Just be sure to be kind and gentle about it, lest you lose their faith and trust.  I wish that I could help you more than this.  Good luck, and stay strong.


I agree! 




dobrd
by on Jan. 30, 2012 at 6:10 PM
1 mom liked this

stwiford, You don't say how old thy are.. It's up to them to tell his Dad, not you.. If he's old enough to 'make' a baby, then, he's old enough to tell his Dad himself.. They both need to do this together.. It's not  yours to own.. This is what needs to be said to your SS.. Take Care, Donna....

Manth
by on Jan. 31, 2012 at 1:12 AM

This is one secret you CAN'T keep.  Once your husband finds out (and he WILL find out, when the baby is born if not before) he will be angry and hurt. Even more hurt if he finds out you knew about this and didn't tell him, it won't do much for your unity as a couple that you kept this secret from him.  Let your SS know that while you are honoured that they trust you with this, it can't be kept secret from his Dad any longer.  Sure, wait until he gets home from his business trip (this is better discussed in person I think) but no longer than that. 

ame4c
by on Jan. 31, 2012 at 2:57 AM
1 mom liked this
While I agree you will only hurt your DH if you dont tell him, I do know that your ss and his gf are scared to death of their parents reactions. My mother found herself in this very situation. My father had already left for bootcamp and she was so scared to tell her parents she ran away. She was staying with my dad's family. My grandfather set up a meeting with my mom's parents and went with her to tell them. Her parents threw a fit and insisted she have an abortion, but my grandpa stood up and told them no one was aborting his grandchild and my mother was welcome to come live with him and raise the baby.

Maybe this is what your ss needs? A safe way to tell his parents, at least a way to feel safer. Maybe he came to you because he knew that you would not over react and make him feel like less of a person for allowing this to happen. I know it is a major pet pieve of mine to see so many people condemn someone and tell them their lives are over because they got prego. It burns me to no end. My mother did drop out of high school and went to live with my grandfather. She got her GED and went back to college. She has been an ER nurse for over 30 yrs and owns several pieces of property. She is a very successful woman dispite her condemning situation so many years ago and boy am I glad she decided against that abortion or I wouldnt be here today.

Your ss may just need you in his courner for when the pounches start coming, just like my mother needed my grandfather.

     ame4c





 

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