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16yr daughter runaway

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:13 AM
  • 29 Replies

My daughter ran a way last week and I was lucky enough that she came back home over the weekend. She ran off with an 18yr boy and now is telling me that she might be pregnant and wants to move away and make a life with him.  Her cycle hopefully starts on the 15th of this month and I want to start her on  birthcontrol something like the shot or implant.  I told her that I along with her father(my ex-husband) agreed that if she is going to be active and trying to get pregnant that we are going to put a stop to it by doing the shot or impant. She says that we can not make her but her only being 16 we told her that we can and will. She has has been sexual abused as a young girl and therapy apparently has never help since she keeps doing sexual activities over and over again. She also was doing drugs but has  stop now.  She believes that she is old enough to move away and make a life of her known but that she also wants to have a baby. She is also failing in high school which she is a 10 grader at the moment.  I am now going to take her to a psychologist for help on the 22nd of this month.    I just do not know how to handle her because she acts like nothing has happened and that she has done no wrong.She also starts arguments for no reason and threatens to leave again.

   I have other children as well and I am remarried. My daughter is the oldest followed by my oldest son which is 15 and has Aspergers Autism... Then I remarried and now I have a 3 1/2yr son and one son that is due to be here in March.  Also to mention, I am 40yrs old.

Any advice ..I am going nuts and my blood pressure is on the rise..

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
JennyFrmTaBlock
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:28 AM


Quoting jsupak:

My daughter ran a way last week and I was lucky enough that she came back home over the weekend. She ran off with an 18yr boy and now is telling me that she might be pregnant and wants to move away and make a life with him.  Her cycle hopefully starts on the 15th of this month and I want to start her on  birthcontrol something like the shot or implant.  I told her that I along with her father(my ex-husband) agreed that if she is going to be active and trying to get pregnant that we are going to put a stop to it by doing the shot or impant. She says that we can not make her but her only being 16 we told her that we can and will. She has has been sexual abused as a young girl and therapy apparently has never help since she keeps doing sexual activities over and over again. She also was doing drugs but has  stop now.  She believes that she is old enough to move away and make a life of her known but that she also wants to have a baby. She is also failing in high school which she is a 10 grader at the moment.  I am now going to take her to a psychologist for help on the 22nd of this month.    I just do not know how to handle her because she acts like nothing has happened and that she has done no wrong.She also starts arguments for no reason and threatens to leave again.

   I have other children as well and I am remarried. My daughter is the oldest followed by my oldest son which is 15 and has Aspergers Autism... Then I remarried and now I have a 3 1/2yr son and one son that is due to be here in March.  Also to mention, I am 40yrs old.

Any advice ..I am going nuts and my blood pressure is on the rise..

First I would like to say how sorry I am for all the hurt and frustration you and your family are going through right now. The stress has to be unbearable at the moment!

I don't know what it is with teens today thinking that they have the world figured out! Why do they feel as if they know it all? I couldn't imagine what you are going through right now and how tough it is for you. To me it sounds like you have everything covered. I would definitely take her to get a shot or implant..Therapy is a must..sounds like she is acting out..looking for a way out of the pain and hurt she must feel..Maybe family therapy along with a session just for her will help. You.. yourself need help, you can't take all of this on yourself!  Best of luck!! Im sorry I couldn't be of more help!

Hugs Jenn

atlmom2
by Susie on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:31 AM

Oh my, get her counseling.  At 16, I don't think she can legally just run off. 

Not_A_Native
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:36 AM

At 16, you cannot make her be on birth control (at least in our state).  You can't even make her go to the doctor.  It has to be her.  I would encourage therapy, but again, here, unless she agrees, you couldn't force her.

I'm not sure what the answer is - hopefully, the psychologist can help.

rkoloms
by on Feb. 9, 2012 at 10:25 AM
1 mom liked this

Let her know that she can become an emancipated minor, if she can prove to a judge that she can support herself. Make clear that if she makes this choice, she will not get any financial support from you, and if she chooses to have a child, you will not be providing child care.

Good luck; this sounds like a very difficult situation. Counseling would be helpful, and a discussion about where she sees herself in ten years

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Feb. 9, 2012 at 10:36 AM

I hate to ask this but because you and her father are on the same page on this, does he have other children in his household?  If not, perhaps her going to live with him would be easier on everyone because he can devote the time needed to watch her and she's not influencing your other kids.

momofne
by on Feb. 9, 2012 at 10:50 AM

Has she taken a pregancy test? I would do that right away and find out. Not sure of the state laws but putting her on birth control  is a must I agree. She does sound like she needs counseling. I am so sorry you are going through this but try to stay positive and watch your own health! Take care, keep us posted {{{HUGS}}}

bizzeemom2717
by on Feb. 10, 2012 at 12:01 AM
I agree that counseling is a must since every state I know of would never force a child to go on bc.
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momo3fgr8tteens
by on Feb. 10, 2012 at 12:10 AM

I don't unfortunately have any suggestions. My best friend is going through the same thing  but her daughter is 18 and it is much worse. Her dh wants to just kick her out of the house but my friend doesn't want to because she hasn't finished school. Her daughter is very abusive and disrespectful to her parents and siblings. You don't want things to get to this point so I could only suggest counseling. Maybe tell her you love her and are not going to let her move out and do what she wants until she is 18. She could run away again but you can also call the police and have her brought home. Good luck hope thngs get better.

02nana07
by on Feb. 10, 2012 at 12:10 AM

 1st get a restraining order on the boy since he is 18 and let him know she is jail bait and you will have him put in jail. 

I would also let him know if she is pregnant he will be supporting this child for 18 years.

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Feb. 10, 2012 at 6:19 AM


Quoting rkoloms:

Let her know that she can become an emancipated minor, if she can prove to a judge that she can support herself. Make clear that if she makes this choice, she will not get any financial support from you, and if she chooses to have a child, you will not be providing child care.

Good luck; this sounds like a very difficult situation. Counseling would be helpful, and a discussion about where she sees herself in ten years

This. Good luck~

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