I can't believe what my ex has done to my boys! UPDATE
I think I got most of the story now cause my boys have been complaining to me. They are both really hurt and upset over this.The original trip that my boys were suppose to have gone on with their dad and grandmother to California has now turned into a trip to Hawaii with grandmother,dad,dad's girlfriend,dad's girlfriend's son and daughter and their 2 friends!!! My boys knew of the change to Hawaii and possibly girlfriend but had no idea about these 4 other kids until like a week ago and they are suppose to leave next week! My oldest is still considering backing out which is now making my youngest feel terrible cause he says he doesn't want to go if his older brother doesn't but he's got to go no matter what cause dad will be twice as angry at him.
I told them both they are adults now (18 and 22) and they have choices. Unfortutatly they can't bring friends themselves because the flights are booked up and my oldest said non of his friends could even go on such short noticwe cause school and work.
I feel so bad for them cause their father dropped the ball again. In fact my oldest said "so much for a family vacation. Or at least not who dad thinks is family".
Well the boys have decided to go Yay! The still refused to talk to their father about all this but maybe once on the trip they can find some time too. From what I heard through the grapevine (ex SIL) my ex is NOT getting married while on the trip cause she flat out asked his mother and she said he told her no ( I guess I wasn't the only one thinking all this LOL). One less thing for the boys to have to deal with. So they will leave this thurs. and be gone for 8 days.
That's screwed up. As adults they should make their decision on what's best for them. With them being adults and not living with Dad, they should be able to understand that they can hang up the phone or simply not answer it if they choose not to go. I would advise them to contact him and explain what he is doing and how it hurts them. I hate it when people hurt their kids for no reason other than their own personal pleasures.
Your right it is screwed up!! My youngest said then what if the flights are none refundable and I told him that their father should have thought about that when he started changing things and not consulting them. Unfortunately they work for their dad and it pays well. Sometimes I wonder if that's his way of controlling them too. I still told them it is wonderful opportunity and that even though they wouldn't be able to drive the rental (you have to be 25) they could still catch shuttles here or there so they wouldn't have to hang aroung the rest if they didn't want to. And also an earlier flight home maybe still an option.
Quoting fantasticfour:That's screwed up. As adults they should make their decision on what's best for them. With them being adults and not living with Dad, they should be able to understand that they can hang up the phone or simply not answer it if they choose not to go. I would advise them to contact him and explain what he is doing and how it hurts them. I hate it when people hurt their kids for no reason other than their own personal pleasures.
Or just maybe they will make some new friends. Maybe the other kids were not told about your guys either? Maybe they are just trying to get everyone together in a really cool setting to get to know each other. How old are the other kids? Are they adults too? Maybe just try to be more positive about it and they will to! I live in FL and cannot even afford to take my 2 sons (at home) to Disney! Maybe going to Hawaii with whoever will still be an awesome vacation! Just sayin....
MonkeysGrammy
It is really sad that the boys are not comfortable enough with their own Dad to talk to him about their feelings. I certainly would not count on them having any time away from the others....they have not been included in the planning, and seem to be thought of as "tag alongs", since they weren't even told the whole plan. They may get there to discover that the other "kids" have planned out all their activities.
I think the boys should just tell their Dad, or their Bushia, that they feel this is not a vacation for their family, but for Dad's GF's family. and they don't feel included.
No they have met them before (girlfriend is who ex cheated with) and have said they are annoying and fell very uncomfortable around them. Not the first time Dad has "surprised" them like going up north etc. I am trying to stay neutral cause I would like them to go. My boys are 18 and 22 and her kids and their friends are 16 and 19. I sure would like to know whos paying for all this too since thats something ex and I are hashing out in court.
Quoting MonkeysGrammy:Or just maybe they will make some new friends. Maybe the other kids were not told about your guys either? Maybe they are just trying to get everyone together in a really cool setting to get to know each other. How old are the other kids? Are they adults too? Maybe just try to be more positive about it and they will to! I live in FL and cannot even afford to take my 2 sons (at home) to Disney! Maybe going to Hawaii with whoever will still be an awesome vacation! Just sayin....
Geez I didn't even think of that. And yes I think they feel like tag a longs.
Quoting boys2men2soon:It is really sad that the boys are not comfortable enough with their own Dad to talk to him about their feelings. I certainly would not count on them having any time away from the others....they have not been included in the planning, and seem to be thought of as "tag alongs", since they weren't even told the whole plan. They may get there to discover that the other "kids" have planned out all their activities.
I think the boys should just tell their Dad, or their Bushia, that they feel this is not a vacation for their family, but for Dad's GF's family. and they don't feel included.
Aha, so not something new! Not knowing any back story I was just hoping for your kid's sake that you were just overreacting! I am sorry that you are not. That really sucks when they feel like they even have to chose. I would (but I can be kind of a bitch) take your one son's ticket! So the other gets to go and he would have you there to hang out with. I'm sure that would piss someone off! hehe...
Quoting momofne:
No they have met them before (girlfriend is who ex cheated with) and have said they are annoying and fell very uncomfortable around them. Not the first time Dad has "surprised" them like going up north etc. I am trying to stay neutral cause I would like them to go. My boys are 18 and 22 and her kids and their friends are 16 and 19. I sure would like to know whos paying for all this too since thats something ex and I are hashing out in court.
Quoting MonkeysGrammy:
Or just maybe they will make some new friends. Maybe the other kids were not told about your guys either? Maybe they are just trying to get everyone together in a really cool setting to get to know each other. How old are the other kids? Are they adults too? Maybe just try to be more positive about it and they will to! I live in FL and cannot even afford to take my 2 sons (at home) to Disney! Maybe going to Hawaii with whoever will still be an awesome vacation! Just sayin....
MonkeysGrammy
LOL! Thats what my girlfriend said we should take each boys ticket! Problem solved LOL!
Quoting MonkeysGrammy:Aha, so not something new! Not knowing any back story I was just hoping for your kid's sake that you were just overreacting! I am sorry that you are not. That really sucks when they feel like they even have to chose. I would (but I can be kind of a bitch) take your one son's ticket! So the other gets to go and he would have you there to hang out with. I'm sure that would piss someone off! hehe...
Quoting momofne:
No they have met them before (girlfriend is who ex cheated with) and have said they are annoying and fell very uncomfortable around them. Not the first time Dad has "surprised" them like going up north etc. I am trying to stay neutral cause I would like them to go. My boys are 18 and 22 and her kids and their friends are 16 and 19. I sure would like to know whos paying for all this too since thats something ex and I are hashing out in court.
Quoting MonkeysGrammy:
Or just maybe they will make some new friends. Maybe the other kids were not told about your guys either? Maybe they are just trying to get everyone together in a really cool setting to get to know each other. How old are the other kids? Are they adults too? Maybe just try to be more positive about it and they will to! I live in FL and cannot even afford to take my 2 sons (at home) to Disney! Maybe going to Hawaii with whoever will still be an awesome vacation! Just sayin....
Good Luck! (and yes I would do it!!) But I hope my hubs can keep just being an ass only sometimes because I do not think I could deal with all of the things some of you have gone through. 24yrs and if he did something that bad I hate to say it, but I know I would be lost. I hope it all works out.
Quoting momofne:
LOL! Thats what my girlfriend said we should take each boys ticket! Problem solved LOL!
Quoting MonkeysGrammy:
Aha, so not something new! Not knowing any back story I was just hoping for your kid's sake that you were just overreacting! I am sorry that you are not. That really sucks when they feel like they even have to chose. I would (but I can be kind of a bitch) take your one son's ticket! So the other gets to go and he would have you there to hang out with. I'm sure that would piss someone off! hehe...
Quoting momofne:
No they have met them before (girlfriend is who ex cheated with) and have said they are annoying and fell very uncomfortable around them. Not the first time Dad has "surprised" them like going up north etc. I am trying to stay neutral cause I would like them to go. My boys are 18 and 22 and her kids and their friends are 16 and 19. I sure would like to know whos paying for all this too since thats something ex and I are hashing out in court.
Quoting MonkeysGrammy:
Or just maybe they will make some new friends. Maybe the other kids were not told about your guys either? Maybe they are just trying to get everyone together in a really cool setting to get to know each other. How old are the other kids? Are they adults too? Maybe just try to be more positive about it and they will to! I live in FL and cannot even afford to take my 2 sons (at home) to Disney! Maybe going to Hawaii with whoever will still be an awesome vacation! Just sayin....
MonkeysGrammy
I'm ready to pull the earbuds out of his ears and put them somewhere less comfortable.
- momofne
on Feb. 9, 2012 at 8:08 PM