My son Todd is 14 and very much what'd you'd imagine as a problem.
I had him when I was 15 and was a single mom for about 7 years. He and i are very close but he didn't have the discipline like his other siblings did because I was so young and nieve and had no clue how to raise a baby.
When he was younger his bad behavior was just talking back and acting up basically, but by the time he was 5 or so I set up some rules and his behavior got better. But then I got married. He didn't hate my husband really, i just think it was a matter of having to share me when it was just him and i for so long. Now with my husband i've had 6 babies and have one on the way and with every kid his behavior gets worse.
He's in therapy and every thursday night he and i do something together (go to dinner, get ice cream, watch a movie together). Well I guess with him just being a teenager and what not he's been acting up more. I understand he's the eldest and all of is siblings are 6 years old and younger (not to mention triplet 2 year olds) like I honestly feel bad because its hard for him to get personal space but he has his own room and the kids are good about giving him space.
Lately his grades have been D's and C's, he's been screaming at us alot, he's been punching walls and doors....he just seems so angry and I don't know what to do. I've spoken to his therapist and he says that he's doing well in therapy he just has a short temper, it's so stressful to have six kids under 6 and a 14 year old whose worse than all of my toddlers combined!
I've tried to sit down with him and talk but he just always says he's stressed cause of all his brothers running around and bothering him but I know thats not true.
Any advice i'm at the end of my rope.
he very well could just have a short fuse naturally and need to work a little more on anger management. also it could be more his age. when boys get that testorterine flow of puberty they tend to get very challenging and a bit on the angry side normally.
i'd relaly suggest just keeping the lines of communication as open as possible and with his therapy maybe sit in for a few 'family' sessions too.
New therapist this one should be able to help him control his anger and channel it in other ways.
Quoting lucky2Beeme:New therapist this one should be able to help him control his anger and channel it in other ways.
I think it would be very stressful for him going from an only child to having that many younger kids around.
Sorry but it seems if he gets worse with each child you know it is hard on him but you should slow down or stop having kids to give him a break I think 8 is enough for anybody to have anyway especially in todays economy.
Unless you are rich I assume he has to help with the youger ones and also does without things he wants because you have so many to buy for and that would cause resentment. JMO
I'd be stressed with that many kids running around in the house too. Does he get time with his friends, going to other people's houses, and such?
Boys go through puberty just like girls. They aren't so much emotional as a girl, but they have their moments. He probably needs some anger management from his counselor. If the counselor thinks it is no big deal, but it really is for you, then maybe you should find a different counselor. My son was pretty angry around that age. He didn't hit walls or anything, but he would get mad at me just saying hi and mumble to himself.
Darcia
I'd be stressed out too. I couldn't handle that much noise and commotion in my space. I'd ask him - how can we carve you out some personal space -literally and figuratively - in this house so you feel like you are getting what you need from your home? Tell me 5 of the biggest things that get on your nerves about life right now, and let's brainstorm how to fix this.
Also - kiddo - your best bet at getting out of here into a calmer life and a life with more perks, is to do really well in high school. If you turned your grades around now, colleges will forgive your first year grades. Because we don't have much money, and especially if we are an ethnic minority, you can get a full scholarship to college - based on need - but you have to have the grades. Let's use our time every week to have fun but also to explore together what a bunch of jobs pay, whether they require a 2 yr degree or a 4 yr degree, and make a plan so that you have a really cool future that you are heading for. Living in this house of 8 people is not gonna be forever. Let's figure out how to make it better for you right now, and lets get a plan that you are excited about that has you in a job you love that makes great money by the time you are 20 or 22 - which is really soon.
I'm ready to pull the earbuds out of his ears and put them somewhere less comfortable.
- SevenBoys28
on Feb. 11, 2012 at 1:39 PM