If a relative is living with you do you have a right to tell them to clean up thier space?

[jcm62497]

My Mother In Law moved in with us in June.  She has a good sized bedroom and a nice bathroom all to herself.  The problem is she is a slob.  I am embarrased by her room and bathroom.  She doesn't put anything away and you can't even see the surface of her dresser tops or desk top.  They are covered with stuff.  She lounges around all day and plays on her computer.  Her bathroom is also a disaster.  The problem is when people come over they usually enter through the garage and when they come in they can see her room and bathroom.  I even drive my daughter's friends home when they come over because I don't want thier parents to see her room.  I have told my husband how this bugs me and he won't  say anything to her.  She is 70 and in good health.  She is paying a monthly rent and all her food is included in that.    I am not a clean freak, but I do keep a clean home.  My husband knows how to gripe to me and my teens about our messes, but won't say a word to his mom.

[outtamymynd]

My sister lived with me for a bit and was a total Slob. Her room always smelled like dirty diapers because she would let them pile up before she took them out. It was so gross but I was always afraid to hurt her feelings, so I never said anything. I probably should have because it really pissed me off.

[bizzeemom2717]

If she is paying rent I would say she can keep her room how she likes, but it would get on my nerves too.

[caswebworks]

I think you should just ask her to please pickup her room or to keep her door closed. She is paying to be there so really it is her area... Good luck

[lucky2Beeme]

ask her to sit down and talk with you. Tell her her room  really bothers you. explain that you are trying to teach your children to pick up and keep the house clean and you need her to go along with you. Tell her you hope she understand and can comply and that you are sorry you had to bring this to her attention.

[02nana07]

 I would tell her if she is to lazy to clean her room at the very least she must shut the door so her mess doesn't embarrass you. 

As long as she is in good health there is no excuse for her to not be cleaning her room, tell her you will clean it for her but she can't tell you what to throw away or keep that will be your decision.

[liahmsmommy143]

ewwww theres no excuse, she needs to be responsible enough too clean it!!!

I kinda had the same situation i finally got so fed up i clean his room, didnt stay clean for too long >.< i kicked him out shortly after

[atlmom2]

IF its just her room and you can shut the door, I probably wouldn't complain although I would clean it up myself or make her do it at least once a month.  I would make sure her door was shut. 

Sounds like she is driving you nuts between this post and your other one about her not wanting to dress for dinner out.  Wasn't that her?   I feel bad for you and I am glad we will never had to have parents live with us.  We live too far away and move too much.  No one would want to live with us, LOL. 

[drfink]

Since she pays rent I would let the messy room be.Of course this means as long as their is no food or bugs in there.

Can you insist that the door to her area be kept shut ?

Otherwise when people come in you can indicate her room ,sigh and shrug say she's an adult not my control.They will see the rest of your  house and understand.Don't worry about impressions it is clear it is an adult that doesn't worry about her space.No one will hold you responsible for a healthy 70 yr old woman's space.

[tyfry7496]

As long as there's no food, bugs, etc id let it go. Make sure she closes her doors.

[fantasticfour]

Sound like how my mom was when she moved in with us.  You certainly do have the right to tell her to clean up after herself.