Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What advice to give to my 14 yo son about self-pleasuring?

Posted by   + Show Post
My son is 14, going through regular boy stuff. He is an excellent child but I don't know what to tell him about waking up with a boner, do I buy him lotion, tell him yo take a cold shower. I understand it is something he has no control of but what advice do I give?
by on Feb. 14, 2012 at 8:04 AM
Replies (21-30):
by on Feb. 14, 2012 at 8:11 PM

Quoting rkoloms:

It is normal. Do it in private, and quietly. Clean up after himself
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 14, 2012 at 8:22 PM
1 mom liked this

It's normal.  I have three sons.  We talked to them about what changes their bodies would take on, when we had some of the advice talks.  (When they were about 11 or 12.)  If he asks about it, let him know that it just happens.  

by Emily on Feb. 14, 2012 at 10:29 PM

Quoting fantasticfour:

My son has never talked to me about this so I don't know what advice to give him.  Is his dad in the picture?  I think any advice coming from you will embarass him.

This and maybe lock the door.

by on Feb. 14, 2012 at 10:50 PM
That's what I did.

Quoting rkoloms:

It is normal. Do it in private, and quietly. Clean up after himself
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 14, 2012 at 11:23 PM
2 moms liked this

I did the same with my 14 year old daughter, when she started puberty several years ago. I bought her a couple of books, and told her she could come to me if she had any questions or concerns. Fortunately, she has. I'm glad she has felt comfortable enough to talk to me about puberty, sex, etc., I know I couldn't discuss any of that stuff with my mom when I was a teenager.

For the original poster: one book that my daughter particularly liked was "What's Happening to My Body?". It comes in both a girls' and a boys' version. Here's the boys' version:

Quoting MalachiteGlow:

I got my son some books from the library that discussed this as well as other "you're growing up" issues.  I told him I thought he might find them interesting and left them in his room till they were due.  Despite his protestations, I'm pretty sure he at least thumbed through them.


by on Feb. 15, 2012 at 12:27 AM
1 mom liked this

I would just let him know it normal and its ok to masturbate.  I think this nurse is really good and she has some books on her website that are for teens.

by Bronze Member on Feb. 15, 2012 at 2:23 AM
1 mom liked this

I remember masturbating when I was a teen and thinking i was a freak.  I have talked to DDs about it and let them know it is normal and positive.  They roll their eyes but I can see they are listening.

If I had sons, I would have the same conversation.  I would not hesitate.  But I have SSs so I leave that up to DH.  

If we want our children to have healthy sex lives, talking about it, with members of both sexes, is a really great first step.  I tell my kids, if you can't talk about sex, you aren't ready to have sex.

by on Feb. 15, 2012 at 5:09 AM
1 mom liked this

My husband says after a shower it will go away. It lets guys know that their penis is in workable order. If he did not wake up with a boner or slight boner, then their is a problem.

by on Feb. 15, 2012 at 7:32 AM

JC2223 has given the perfect answer, in my opinion.  I agree with it totally. 

by on Feb. 15, 2012 at 8:09 AM
1 mom liked this
I fail to understand the responses to some of these posts, at times. Not saying anything to him is like not explaining menstration to a daughter until she calls home from school for a change of clothes.
Boys need someone to discuss these things with, the physical and psychological changes are important for him to understand.
Unfortunately, my 2 sons refused to speak to their dad about it. That left me, not comfortable, but letting them know that they're going through the natural process of puberty and that there's an appropriate time and place for this is essential for their developing self esteem. Don't corner him or pit him on the spot, but sitting him down and bringing it up as a "I know you're getting older and going through a lot of changes....." And leaving the door open for later questions can help him through this transistion a lot more that "don't ask, don't tell". Reminds me a girlfriend in school telling a friend if she stood on her head after sex she wouldn't get pregnant. Lol I'd rather my kids get the right information, from us so I know its accurate and follows our familys beliefs. To each their own.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN