she has become increasingly disrespectful to me. Even to the point where she's hitting me, and her younger siblings. And calling her 4 yr old sister a slut and a bitch. We are in therapy, she also sees a pyschiatrist. I think for now it's better for her to be gone. I can't take the stress of it anymore.
I have been the only one there for her through all of this. I am the one that stayed with her in the hospital, who takes her to all her appointments, who has spent endless hours in the ER and waiting rooms with 2 little kids. She has no concept that I'm stressed too! I have really tried to accomidate her, but my efforts have failed. Maybe I coddled her too much, I don't know. I'm confused, stressed, sad, angry, and tired! And I have no one to talk to!!! Thanks for listening!!
and if you have any words of wisdom, please share!
Hugs momma. Sounds like you are burnout. I believe that if she moves out at 17 you are legally responsible for her and her actions until she turns 18. I would find out before she goes. Where is her dad ? Are there any relatives that would allow her to move in? Have you spoken with pyschiatrist ? If not call and let them know whats is going on. Maybe they can be of help to you. I hope you get some answers and she gets more help. That things can be worked out.
She already left. She told me she was going to school, but went to her older brothers house. She told me she would be moving in with her grandma. I don't know if she has discussed this with her grandma, it's just what she told me. Her dad doesn't have anything to do with her, and would not let her move in with him. I am going to call her therapist today to see what I should do. As for today, its probably best we stay away from each other.
Quoting lucky2Beeme:Hugs momma. Sounds like you are burnout. I believe that if she moves out at 17 you are legally responsible for her and her actions until she turns 18. I would find out before she goes. Where is her dad ? Are there any relatives that would allow her to move in? Have you spoken with pyschiatrist ? If not call and let them know whats is going on. Maybe they can be of help to you. I hope you get some answers and she gets more help. That things can be worked out.
Well, maybe you should call Grandma and ask if she is okay with this arrangement. Sounds like it may be the best solution for all involved!
Quoting boys2men2soon:Well, maybe you should call Grandma and ask if she is okay with this arrangement. Sounds like it may be the best solution for all involved!
Quoting mommyakabooby:
thing is, grandma is her dads mom, not mine. I would feel real awkward calling her. I won't call her dad either because I have a restraining order on him.
Quoting boys2men2soon:Well, maybe you should call Grandma and ask if she is okay with this arrangement. Sounds like it may be the best solution for all involved!
Understood. But, your daughter is still a minor, making you responsible for her. You should call and explain the situation, at least share your side...because who knows what your daughter will say! You need to protect your self and your younger kids, because if you are not on good terms with Grandma, she may take your daughters word as Gospel and call CPS. The last thing you need is an investigation into your parenting. I assume your younger children have a different Father?
Quoting boys2men2soon:
Quoting mommyakabooby:
thing is, grandma is her dads mom, not mine. I would feel real awkward calling her. I won't call her dad either because I have a restraining order on him.
Quoting boys2men2soon:Well, maybe you should call Grandma and ask if she is okay with this arrangement. Sounds like it may be the best solution for all involved!
Understood. But, your daughter is still a minor, making you responsible for her. You should call and explain the situation, at least share your side...because who knows what your daughter will say! You need to protect your self and your younger kids, because if you are not on good terms with Grandma, she may take your daughters word as Gospel and call CPS. The last thing you need is an investigation into your parenting. I assume your younger children have a different Father?
In my state, 17 is not considered a minor- what is the law in your state? I think the stress is bad for both of you. I would at least contact your local police department via the non-emergency number and ask them what your state laws are in regards to her voluntarily moving out of your home. Maybe that will help you with your decisions with her in the future. Are you still going to take her to her appointments? If she wants to come back in a week, a month, 2 months are you going to let her? Maybe she needs a reality check and will figure out that it isn't as easy as she thinks. It's just so hard- trust me-I know! Different kids have different personalities so it is hard to give advice because I just don't know what would work with her! GL!
She sounds like she is in at least as much pain as you are. One of my parenting mantras is "A child who is most unlovable is most in need of love"
I can't pretend to understand what you are going through, but hugs never hurt
It's going to take a reality check to get to her. She is STUBBORN! I told her I am no longer taking her to her appointments, and that I don't know if she will still be covered on state insurance if she is not living with me. If she doesn't want my help, then I will not give it to her. I told her if she wants to come back home, she has to be respectful and follow my rules. The screaming, hitting, and name calling is unacceptable.
Quoting amylulu1:In my state, 17 is not considered a minor- what is the law in your state? I think the stress is bad for both of you. I would at least contact your local police department via the non-emergency number and ask them what your state laws are in regards to her voluntarily moving out of your home. Maybe that will help you with your decisions with her in the future. Are you still going to take her to her appointments? If she wants to come back in a week, a month, 2 months are you going to let her? Maybe she needs a reality check and will figure out that it isn't as easy as she thinks. It's just so hard- trust me-I know! Different kids have different personalities so it is hard to give advice because I just don't know what would work with her! GL!
Oh I've tried! She will not accept affection from me. Sometimes I would go into her room and try to interact, sometimes she receives it, Other times she screams at me to "get the F out of her room and leave me alone!". She is constantly pushing me to my breaking point. Once she found out she could get a dramatic reaction by being abusive to the little ones, she started doing it all the time. Once, she got mad because I wouldn't make her a sandwich so she goes to my 4 yr old and says "Lily, do you know what a nigger is? Its a black person, so whenever you see black people call then niggers". Then she had her repeating nigger over and over. The whole time, I like "wth are you doing??" Don't teach her that!!! Then she turns around and apologizes, but wth?? really? Or she'll tell her sister she is her bestfriend, and they'll do each others hair and all that. Then she'll turn on her, unprovoked. Telling she doesn't like her anymore, that she's ugly, a bitch whatever. Its cruel, and it makes me resent her
Quoting rkoloms:
At 17, she can't legally be on her own, unless a judge rules that she can be an emancipated minor.she can be turned over to foster care.
She sounds like she is in at least as much pain as you are. One of my parenting mantras is "A child who is most unlovable is most in need of love"
I can't pretend to understand what you are going through, but hugs never hurt
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I'm ready to pull the earbuds out of his ears and put them somewhere less comfortable.
- mommyakabooby
on Feb. 16, 2012 at 12:44 PM