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Teenage daughter hard on herself

Posted by on Feb. 19, 2012 at 10:09 PM
  • 18 Replies

My teen daughter seems to be so upset and depressed lately. She was recently laid off from her job and just failed her road test for the second time. She keeps saying she does not want to hang with her friends because she is jealous of them (they have cars) and keeps saying she can't stand herself and is such a failure. She has applied to 30 jobs and cant seem to find one, she says she feels like the failure of the family because two cousins her age are both going to ivy league colleges. When she failed her road test the other day she was so hysterical i had to come home from work and literaly cried all day. Any advice?


edit: hi everyone i just wanted to give an update she got a job shortly after at a local department store and loves it and is has her road test coming up soon. however it is still not easy she still cries almost daily and had a breakdown a week ago when her friend got his license and a brand new car. we've contacted a psychiatrist but there is a long wait, she is now saying she wants to defer her first semester of college and not attend. this is making her even more heartbroken even though we both are against her doing this. any new advice or comments.

by on Feb. 19, 2012 at 10:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Grumpy on Feb. 19, 2012 at 11:23 PM

Wow that's pretty rough.  If it makes her feel any better I failed my written test 5 times before I passed it.

by on Feb. 19, 2012 at 11:26 PM
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Awww I feel for her. Be her main support system! I took me a year to find a job and then it didn't work out! Keep it positive!

by on Feb. 20, 2012 at 12:10 AM
Oh poor girl, my DS failed the first time, those tests are much harder now than when I was a teen back in the day! I would just be there to listen, finding a job is TOUGH in this economy for anyone, esp a teen. Hang in there!
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by on Feb. 20, 2012 at 12:27 AM
Just let her know things will get better, n support her. Hugs
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by Shauna on Feb. 20, 2012 at 8:26 AM

Keep supporting her.

Let her know that the job market is crappy for everyone right now. Businesses are going out of business and others are downsizing. My dd was also laid off from her job last year because the restaurants she worked in closed. She applied to several places until she got the job she has now. She really doesn't like the job but stays b/c that is what is available in our area right now and it's a paycheck.

As for the driver's test, in our area it is rare to pass on the first try, it happens on occasion but most kids here don't. My dd took it a few times before she passed and felt like a failure each time. We felt so bad for her because she would do everything perfectly with us and choke with the driving instructor. Our dd has generalized anxiety and test taking (any test is excruciating for her). We never let her give up. She has been driving for over a year and is a very good and cautious driver.

by on Feb. 20, 2012 at 5:04 PM
She have to keep practice driving,keep applying for jobs. Or go to a place where they can help her seek employment.
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by on Feb. 20, 2012 at 5:39 PM

Lots of hugs, maybe some ice cream. I failed the road test four times

Have her contact the Red Cross, and take a babysitting class. My daughter could double-book herself every Saturday night, and charges $10 an hour

Robin in Chicago

by on Feb. 20, 2012 at 6:54 PM

Therapy for her is in order she does sound depressed.  Also, no on can get a job right now!  Help her find an alternative way to make money.  Nanny work and babysitting business are great for teens.


by Member on Feb. 21, 2012 at 1:52 AM

I agree that you should seek out therapy for her!  I haven't spoken out about it here, but my teenage daughter tried to commit suicide last month.  On the surface she appeared to have everything going for her- beautiful, intelligent (just made National Honor Society), and had lots of friends.  BUT......she is very hard on herself.  She has a bad self-image and over time it built up to where she attempted suicide with pills.  I thank God everyday that the pills weren't deadly and that she told someone.  We now have her in therapy for help with recognizing these negative thoughts when she has them and how to change them.

Please, please, please do NOT wait- get your daughter help now.  I don't want anyone else to go through what we did- or worse.

by on Feb. 21, 2012 at 8:48 AM

Thank you all for your advice, shes doing better and actually has another job interview today. She does see a therapist already but she refuses to think shes "depressd" or needs any other form of help. She just keeps saying shel be happy when she gets a job and a license. So il have to see what her therapist says.

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