Yesterday I came home early with my toddler to find my 14 yr old DD getting "changed" in the dining room. When I turned the corner, she was naked from the top up, and when I asked her what she was doing, she said changing. I thought something seemed off, so now I'm suspicious that there is a boy in the house. I'm running through the house looking around, and come back to the dining room to find her unplugging a webcam from her laptop! Now, I'm trying to peice this all together and I totally lose my sh*t on her. She says she was chatting with strangers online on Omegle, but it was innocent. Which still doesn't explain the naked part! I am flipping out, the toddler is crying and the only thing I can do is banish her to her room. She says she was trying on my bra in the dining room, but away from the computer. I'm not sure what to believe, that just doesn't make sense! The only thing that makes sense is that she was chatting with strangers wearing a bra. I'm totally freaked out. She says she's been going on this site for a while and so do all of her friends.
Now, I WORK in social media, so I am completely appalled that she thought this was OK. After all of the talks I've had with her about online safety, never telling strangers your name and location, just surprised that my honors student would be so bored as to pull this stunt. BTW, I threw the video camera away, and had no idea she had it. It is also school vacation week, so I had limited options for my teen. I just today, sent her to her grandmother's house for a night to get her out.
So anyone else have experience with this? Is there some sort of punishment I should be considering? Do I just have yet another serious talk with her? Help!
I agree with all the other advice you've already received. After upping all the parental controls on the computer, I would also put secret monitoring software on the computers too. That way you can check everything she does, says and where she goes on the Internet. There is a great system called "Webwatcher" that does everything from keystrokes, to screen shots and she won't know it's on the computer monitoring her. We had to use this to monitor my OSD's computer use. Kids are resourceful, you could restrict her use, put the computer in a public room, add on every parental control known to man and they can find a way around them. Good luck!
OMG!! I don't blame you. I would be so upset. This is why we don't have a webcam and we only have one desk top computer in the kitchen where I can see what they are doing. However I can't be home 24/7 or know what they do when they go over a friend's house. I also check history to trace all websites. Scary stuff. Sorry mom 
Yaaa i hate to say it but she was defnitely doing something inappropriate on the web cam. I'm sure as her mother you want to believe she wasn't but from a second point of view she definitely was. Online websites like that freak me out I refuse to allow my children on the computers when they're older unless they're being monitored.
Quoting ummsumulaiooh:
This and other atrocities are why i don't have a computer in the home ,I agree with the other mom you need to show whats really going on out here ,teens think they are invincible unless life has shown them other wise . good luck and be diligent no what you decide.
Computers have a lot of positives for research and doing schoolwork, and limited social networking with friends from school is okay, I think. I believe in strict monitoring, though. A lot of laptops come with webcams, but I'd make sure my kid didn't have access to things like that.
Could you maybe put a computer lock on? She can't get on unless she knows the password..
Quoting erica7227:Exactly, NEW rule is no computer unless someone is home. It's hard not to leave her home alone - she's alone for a couple of hours after school with me checking on her and she's too old for a babysitter. i have arranged to work a few afternoons from home moving forward. But what's more than a good talking to? Suppose all of her friends are doing it so she legitimately thought it was OK and not that dangerous? Trying to figure out the grounding part and what is appropriate for something like this. Ugh.
Quoting luckysevenwow:NO computer unless someone is home...period. Grounded for a while and probably wouldn't be left home alone either. She obviously can not be trusted and this is one of those things that needs more then a good talking to.
Rejection
- erica7227
on Feb. 23, 2012 at 10:24 AM