I don't normally ask for advice but I don't know what to do about my 14 year old dd
ok...so my 14 year old hasn't been herself since we moved from Albquerque, NM to Dayton, OH this past summer. She wasn't happy about moving at all (which I don't blame her). So she started high school here and had some trouble making friends. She felt rejected by the more "popular" girls and I think she had trouble finding her "group". In the past she was more friends with everyone but I think the rejection has caused her to search for a "group" well she found one and they don't seem to be bad kids, but they all feel like the anti-popular kids. They way dd dresses (she wears alot more black now) s almost seems depressed. She played softball since she was 6...this year she says she just doesn't like it, she doesn't know why. she seemed to be making an effort to make the best of living here.
Anyway I log into her facebook periodically, so today I logged in and all her public post are her regular stuff, but when I looked into private groups it is completely different. She apparently thinks she is bi-sexual, which I don't care about. she is using language that is inapproriate in my opinion and what she is telling her friends about school and living here is not what she is telling us. I am upset that she isn't talking to me about these things.
Alot has happened this year...we moved, I had a baby, she started high school
I feel like a failure as a mother. I know that us moving so much (we are military) is hard on her, I know being a teenager is hard, but I had hoped that I was someone she could talk to. It is like she is two different kids almost, and I don't know which one is real. I want to talk to here about it, but I don't want to make it worse. She has never been the kind to complain or share negative feelings.
I am just so upset. I feel helpless, I don't know if I am overeacting or underreacting. I feel like I have been spending to much time on the baby. I have my 14 year old, a 10 year old, the baby (8 weeks), and my husband...I am trying to spend time with them all so no one feels neglected but feel like i have dropped the ball with dd.
the bottom line is I don't know what to do and would love any opinions. sorry its so long....