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So daughter decides to come in late as usual but couldn't sleep. Asked to borrow my ipod to help her sleep. As of late she has had two cellphones taken away (due to texting during class and running up the bill) plus a laptop she received for Christmas. I flat out refused to let her borrow it. I put a password on it and also my laptop. 

So her recourse was to incessantly repeat "Mom. Mom. Mom. MOM!!!" Annoying yes, but I said that I wasn't going to give in to her no matter what. So I calmly logged out my computer, took my things, house keys and left. Not before locking her indoors. The only way she could get out is if she jumped out the second story window!

I sat out on the front porch and tried to calm down. My solution is if she destroyed my apartment was to call the cops. If she put her hands on me, call the cops. If she attempts to break in past curfew the police would be called. Tough love, right? 

Anyway, when I finally returned to my apartment, she was already asleep.  Mothers, I'm counting the months until she's 18!

From a long suffering stressed mother.

by on Mar. 14, 2012 at 7:49 AM
Replies (11-19):
by on Mar. 14, 2012 at 8:49 PM

Quoting Shortblonde1976:

I so understand where your coming from....I wouldn't feel too bad as you didn't even leave you just sat outside.. I have a daughter in a 6-9 month treatment center and it is hard right now because she doesn't want to be there so she calls me every day and begs to come home....tough love is a bugger! I love her so much and wish she would stop being a brat!

Tough love is hard but well worth it!

by on Mar. 14, 2012 at 8:52 PM

Quoting luckysevenwow:

At 17 a curfew at 7 is a little early. I am strict about curfews no matter what age you are but as long as they check in they can stay out till 9 on a school night and midnight on the weekends. I have also been known to lock them out...not in. You were outside so I don't see that as a big deal.

Have her sit down and write you a letter of what she would like to see as the rules. Then find a compromise, make an agreement and then there will be no question of the rules. At that age they should have some say, not final say, but some.

I am with you.

by on Mar. 14, 2012 at 9:31 PM
1 mom liked this
I totally understand and for crying out loud you were right outside! Child protective services, lol I have a good friend who works for CPS, she would say good for you for taking a breather and staying calm! Hugs Mama!

Quoting imperfectmom72:

Look, at the time all I wanted was peace. In the future I would find an alternate way of dealing with the situation. Thanks for responding.

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by Grumpy on Mar. 14, 2012 at 9:53 PM
1 mom liked this

Way to stay strong on that.  I know how it is a fire code to lock her in, however you were within sight of the building at all times.  Have you tried locking all the doors and locking yourself in your room?

by on Mar. 14, 2012 at 10:12 PM

Ladies, thank you all for the output! Now, last night when I walked away she was in my room so locking myself would have been impossible since i'd have to endure the incessant pounding on the door. This is a true test of mothering. In one instance she wants me to trust her but she's not giving me a reason to! (lies and deceit)

She's old enough to know the dangers of the streets and since she feels that not coming in at a decent hour is uncool to her, I'm going to rest my weary head and let her experience life on the unforgiving streets. 

by on Mar. 15, 2012 at 7:09 PM
That was my thought to. Try TRUSTING her and she might start acting more mature.

Quoting rkoloms:

You do know that locking her in is a fire hazard, as well as illegal? I am suprised that she didn't call the local child protection agency.
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by on Mar. 15, 2012 at 9:28 PM

Quoting PurpleHazey:

Quoting rkoloms:

You do know that locking her in is a fire hazard, as well as illegal? I am suprised that she didn't call the local child protection agency.

I just can't believe this...A real fir hazard.

Yes...locking her in could be a fire hazard.  But mom stayed on the porch just outside - she was there.  Give her a break!

by on Mar. 16, 2012 at 9:28 AM
1 mom liked this

Thanks Photogal for defending me! A lof of women had strong feelings against what i did, but at the time I did what I had to do! I have no regrets. She later apologized for her actions.

by on Mar. 16, 2012 at 8:18 PM

I really don't think a 7pm curfew on a school night is at all unreasonable -- a later bedtime, yeah, but to me curfew means you must be home at a particular time. BTW, no teen should be out past 10pm even on a weekend, IMHO, She should be at home doing homework (and chores).  If she wants to talk to a friend -- there is a land line probably.  Keep being consistent with your rules and consequences.  I'd also ground her little defiant butt and make her stay home all weekend -- no talking on phone to friends, no hanging out with friends -- just homework and chores and boring old home.  She can read a book if she gets bored.  

My mom would also assign heinous chores like cleaning fridge and defrosting freezer or cleaning garage.   Get creative -- if she's not responsible for cleaning the bathroom, make her and make sure she scrubs walls as well as fixtures and floor -- let her have a sponge.  No reason to resort to the toothbrush punishment.  Make her clean out the kitchen cabinets and closets too.   Or rent a rug doctor and make her steam the carpets.

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