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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

13 yr old dd threatens suicide when mad

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 9:05 AM
  • 204 Replies

I could really use your help. Last night my 13 yr dd and I had a disagreement over TV and her report card. She's not supposed to watch TV on school nights. I have cable blocked on school nights - so now she tapes shows and watches them. Her report card came in the mail 2 nights ago. She has it and won't let me see it. After attempted discussions last night from which she just walked away, I told her she lost her phone/text for a week. Her immediate response - 'this is why I hate living here and want to kill myself.' - and then walked away.

I think she is bluffing, and is saying this to get a reaction. It has happened just once before. But of course I cannot be 100% certain. She has no other suicidal signs. Point to note: a school friend of hers died last year from the hanging game (choked herself).

Dd has been openly defiant to me in other ways. I don't like the direction I am seeing.

What do I do? Do I take her to counseling because 1) she might be suicidal, or 2) if she isn't, her suicidal threats are not approprirate. Or do I let this incident pass?

I tried to talk to her again last night and now she won't talk to me. I turned off her phone to follow through on my threat.



by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 9:05 AM
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by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 9:10 AM
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call the school to get the grades- and what do you mean she wouldn't let you see the report card- your the parent TAKE it!

by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 9:16 AM
1 mom liked this

Oh wow mama, I am so sorry to hear this!!  I'm not sure what I would you said, you don't think she has tendencies, but then do we ever really know??  I think I would talk to someone, whether it's a school counselor, a pediatrician or something.  I wish you all the luck in the world...hugs coming your way!!

by Susie on Mar. 22, 2012 at 9:20 AM
4 moms liked this

Get her counseling.  She needs to know its not ok to react that way.  I would call the school and pick up another copy of her report card.  She wouldn't be doing anything or having anything thought until she she gave it to me.  She is being awfully defiant and needs to know she cannot behave that way.  Did this just start or has she been this way always?

by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 10:11 AM
5 moms liked this

Mine knows she would be grounded from now on till never for crap like that.  Sounds like she is bluffing because she is mad.  BUT teens are also mouthy and disrespectful but you need to shut it down for sure before it gets worse.

Most schools have an online grade checker.  Call the school.

by Jen on Mar. 22, 2012 at 1:47 PM
7 moms liked this
Wow, my kids have someone close to them who comitted suicide and they understand how incredibly selfish it would be to "bluff" something like that....its something you need to not accept and intervene on whether it is real or just a threat. Also, I'm not understanding why/how she "won't give" you the report card? You are the parent, take it. Or, all priv such as phone, internet, friends are gone and you get one from the school tomorrow. If she still threatens suicide, time for a trip to the ER (after you take away privileges) for a mental health eval. You tell her you just can't take chances...if she's bluffing she will either then tell you or get the help and referral she actually needs at the ER.
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by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 1:50 PM
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Whether she is truly suicidal or not, counseling (the family kind) is definitely in order. You have no control over this child, and she has no respect for you; this is not normal or healthy
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by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 1:50 PM
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I would not wait to see if she was bluffing, I have a son who attempted suicide we found out he's bipolar. Get her in therapy ASAP if you think she might act on the threats get her to the Er please don't take any chances
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by Member on Mar. 22, 2012 at 1:54 PM
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She needs to get help regardless of if the statement is truthful or for attention.
My cousins did that all the time. I remember one instance one of them didn't want to go to church that morning and stood at the front storm door with a knife, screaming she was going to do it this time. My grandma had enough at this point and kept yelling back, fine go ahead but if you do it will hurt, and How she would have to break the storm door to get to you, which she would pay to replace and then the hospital bill and how bad the stitches would hurt and
How she would still have to go to the evening service. Needless to say she dropped the knife and we went to church, but those girls are so messed up NOW. That same one drove home drunk a month or so ago and has NO idea how she got home or how the hell she totaled the car. Kicker she sees BOTHING wrong with this behavior.
Take her to get help NOW.
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by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 1:56 PM
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Not that you should not believe her, but it is very known that MOST people who threaten suicide or talk about it all willy nilly like that, don't really mean it. 

by Ida on Mar. 22, 2012 at 1:57 PM

 I would take her to see someone it is always better safe than sorry group hug

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