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13 yr old dd threatens suicide when mad

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I could really use your help. Last night my 13 yr dd and I had a disagreement over TV and her report card. She's not supposed to watch TV on school nights. I have cable blocked on school nights - so now she tapes shows and watches them. Her report card came in the mail 2 nights ago. She has it and won't let me see it. After attempted discussions last night from which she just walked away, I told her she lost her phone/text for a week. Her immediate response - 'this is why I hate living here and want to kill myself.' - and then walked away.

I think she is bluffing, and is saying this to get a reaction. It has happened just once before. But of course I cannot be 100% certain. She has no other suicidal signs. Point to note: a school friend of hers died last year from the hanging game (choked herself).

Dd has been openly defiant to me in other ways. I don't like the direction I am seeing.

What do I do? Do I take her to counseling because 1) she might be suicidal, or 2) if she isn't, her suicidal threats are not approprirate. Or do I let this incident pass?

I tried to talk to her again last night and now she won't talk to me. I turned off her phone to follow through on my threat.

 

 

by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 9:05 AM
Replies (51-60):
DeniseHarrison
by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 8:56 AM
Get her counseling


2teens2LOs
by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 8:57 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting mommy2alissa:

 straight up! 'she wont let me'. She wont LET you?! No wonder she is so defiant! Good grief. And if she wants to trhow tantrums like a 5 year old, treat her like one, bend her over and beat her ass, then ground her for 2 months for saying that shit. Sheesh!

Quoting 2teens2LOs:

call the school to get the grades- and what do you mean she wouldn't let you see the report card- your the parent TAKE it!

 

I absolutely agree- this didn't happen overnight, seems she is running that house and knows it! and I too think a good ass whooping would make these fake threats not happen again! I also agree w/ the poster who said "the ones who make the threats usually dont follow thru"  its the ones who dont make the threats to worry about. 

You should try some unconvential teaching WHY not to EVER say this... take her to a psych ward to VISIT- take her to a nursing home and let her see a vegetable that "tried" suicide and didn't succeed! Let her know that she could be put in EITHER for making these threads or an actual attempt at it-

Take her to see someone who has blown HALF thier face off!

seems she needs a REAL reality check! But I can guarentee I wouldn't hear those words but ONE time... and she wouldn't have access to typical teen stuff for a very long time.

This is not something to take lightly and her threats should be addressed, but not in the way I see some suggesting. I might even go so far as to have her taken out of the school atmosphere and put in an alternative classroom so she is alone and can focus to get her grades up- once they come up, she can go back to the regular classroom- talk to the school and ask them about this-

Kids are awful these days, IF you let them be!

tyfry7496
by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 9:00 AM
1 mom liked this
Beating her ass is abuse, especially to someone threatening to kill herself. ALL threats need to be taken seriously because sometimes those threats are real and the next threat and the person is dead. Beating someone solves nothing. But mom does need to step up and be a mom.

Quoting mommy2alissa:

 straight up! 'she wont let me'. She wont LET you?! No wonder she is so defiant! Good grief. And if she wants to trhow tantrums like a 5 year old, treat her like one, bend her over and beat her ass, then ground her for 2 months for saying that shit. Sheesh!


Quoting 2teens2LOs:


call the school to get the grades- and what do you mean she wouldn't let you see the report card- your the parent TAKE it!


 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
2teens2LOs
by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 9:02 AM


Quoting tyfry7496:

Beating her ass is abuse, especially to someone threatening to kill herself. ALL threats need to be taken seriously because sometimes those threats are real and the next threat and the person is dead. Beating someone solves nothing. But mom does need to step up and be a mom.

Quoting mommy2alissa:

 straight up! 'she wont let me'. She wont LET you?! No wonder she is so defiant! Good grief. And if she wants to trhow tantrums like a 5 year old, treat her like one, bend her over and beat her ass, then ground her for 2 months for saying that shit. Sheesh!


Quoting 2teens2LOs:


call the school to get the grades- and what do you mean she wouldn't let you see the report card- your the parent TAKE it!


 

it is not against the law to SPANK a child! 

Maevelyn
by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 9:05 AM

You definately need to fallow through that way they aren't threats. I would take her to a therapist her friend died and even if it isn't intentional suicide opens a door that for most people says shut (I know from personal experience.) I think being a brat (for lack of a better word I'm sure at times she's an amazing kid) is pretty normal but you can't let her wear you down bc that just makes her try harder longer next time. Be happy, when I was a teen having my parents be happy when I was was like clearly miserable bc they were like totally the worst parents ever just made me completely mad. Good luck Momma. 

tyfry7496
by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 9:07 AM
1 mom liked this
It is to "beat her ass". Spanking a teenager is not going to help anything, this possibly manipulative teenager can go to school and report that her mother "beat" her and then mom and family goes through a CPS evaluation.

"Beating her ass" of a child with possible mental health issues is wrong. Threatening suicide is never a joke and doesn't warrant a beating. Some people who KILL themselves show NO symptoms or joke around about it.


Quoting 2teens2LOs:



Quoting tyfry7496:

Beating her ass is abuse, especially to someone threatening to kill herself. ALL threats need to be taken seriously because sometimes those threats are real and the next threat and the person is dead. Beating someone solves nothing. But mom does need to step up and be a mom.


Quoting mommy2alissa:


 straight up! 'she wont let me'. She wont LET you?! No wonder she is so defiant! Good grief. And if she wants to trhow tantrums like a 5 year old, treat her like one, bend her over and beat her ass, then ground her for 2 months for saying that shit. Sheesh!



Quoting 2teens2LOs:



call the school to get the grades- and what do you mean she wouldn't let you see the report card- your the parent TAKE it!



 


it is not against the law to SPANK a child! 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mommy2alissa
by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 9:10 AM

 Leagally speaking, no its is not. You are alloud to spank, open handed on the butt for punishment as long as you do not leave "long lasting physical damage or pain" And I highly doubt this girl is serious. She sounds like a brat to me. If she was serious, she wouldnt throw it up because she was mad she didnt get to watch TV.

Quoting tyfry7496:

Beating her ass is abuse, especially to someone threatening to kill herself. ALL threats need to be taken seriously because sometimes those threats are real and the next threat and the person is dead. Beating someone solves nothing. But mom does need to step up and be a mom.

Quoting mommy2alissa:

 straight up! 'she wont let me'. She wont LET you?! No wonder she is so defiant! Good grief. And if she wants to trhow tantrums like a 5 year old, treat her like one, bend her over and beat her ass, then ground her for 2 months for saying that shit. Sheesh!


Quoting 2teens2LOs:


call the school to get the grades- and what do you mean she wouldn't let you see the report card- your the parent TAKE it!


 

 

mommy2alissa
by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 9:11 AM

 

Quoting 2teens2LOs:

 

Quoting mommy2alissa:

 straight up! 'she wont let me'. She wont LET you?! No wonder she is so defiant! Good grief. And if she wants to trhow tantrums like a 5 year old, treat her like one, bend her over and beat her ass, then ground her for 2 months for saying that shit. Sheesh!

Quoting 2teens2LOs:

call the school to get the grades- and what do you mean she wouldn't let you see the report card- your the parent TAKE it!

 

I absolutely agree- this didn't happen overnight, seems she is running that house and knows it! and I too think a good ass whooping would make these fake threats not happen again! I also agree w/ the poster who said "the ones who make the threats usually dont follow thru"  its the ones who dont make the threats to worry about. 

You should try some unconvential teaching WHY not to EVER say this... take her to a psych ward to VISIT- take her to a nursing home and let her see a vegetable that "tried" suicide and didn't succeed! Let her know that she could be put in EITHER for making these threads or an actual attempt at it-

Take her to see someone who has blown HALF thier face off!

seems she needs a REAL reality check! But I can guarentee I wouldn't hear those words but ONE time... and she wouldn't have access to typical teen stuff for a very long time.

This is not something to take lightly and her threats should be addressed, but not in the way I see some suggesting. I might even go so far as to have her taken out of the school atmosphere and put in an alternative classroom so she is alone and can focus to get her grades up- once they come up, she can go back to the regular classroom- talk to the school and ask them about this-

Kids are awful these days, IF you let them be!

 Could not agree more!

2teens2LOs
by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 9:11 AM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting tyfry7496:

It is to "beat her ass". Spanking a teenager is not going to help anything, this possibly manipulative teenager can go to school and report that her mother "beat" her and then mom and family goes through a CPS evaluation.

"Beating her ass" of a child with possible mental health issues is wrong. Threatening suicide is never a joke and doesn't warrant a beating. Some people who KILL themselves show NO symptoms or joke around about it.


Quoting 2teens2LOs:

 


Quoting tyfry7496:

Beating her ass is abuse, especially to someone threatening to kill herself. ALL threats need to be taken seriously because sometimes those threats are real and the next threat and the person is dead. Beating someone solves nothing. But mom does need to step up and be a mom.


Quoting mommy2alissa:


 straight up! 'she wont let me'. She wont LET you?! No wonder she is so defiant! Good grief. And if she wants to trhow tantrums like a 5 year old, treat her like one, bend her over and beat her ass, then ground her for 2 months for saying that shit. Sheesh!



Quoting 2teens2LOs:



call the school to get the grades- and what do you mean she wouldn't let you see the report card- your the parent TAKE it!



 


it is not against the law to SPANK a child! 

fear like yours, is why kids are running the world today! Call it spanking, whooping, busting an ass, beating an ass- its ALL the same- as long as it in not a true "beating"

I might also say, maybe a spanking when littler would have prevented all of this.
 

twogirl91
by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 9:14 AM

My best friend used to tell her parents she was going to kill herself and she tried several times. Don't blow it off, she might really be having something going on that she needs couseling. She could be just throwing it around, but it's better safe than sorry. 

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