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13 yr old dd threatens suicide when mad

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I could really use your help. Last night my 13 yr dd and I had a disagreement over TV and her report card. She's not supposed to watch TV on school nights. I have cable blocked on school nights - so now she tapes shows and watches them. Her report card came in the mail 2 nights ago. She has it and won't let me see it. After attempted discussions last night from which she just walked away, I told her she lost her phone/text for a week. Her immediate response - 'this is why I hate living here and want to kill myself.' - and then walked away.

I think she is bluffing, and is saying this to get a reaction. It has happened just once before. But of course I cannot be 100% certain. She has no other suicidal signs. Point to note: a school friend of hers died last year from the hanging game (choked herself).

Dd has been openly defiant to me in other ways. I don't like the direction I am seeing.

What do I do? Do I take her to counseling because 1) she might be suicidal, or 2) if she isn't, her suicidal threats are not approprirate. Or do I let this incident pass?

I tried to talk to her again last night and now she won't talk to me. I turned off her phone to follow through on my threat.

 

 

by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 9:05 AM
Replies (161-170):
Cukimonster
by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 11:49 PM

I sometimes wonder if other adults do really remember what it was like to be a teenager.  I remember feeling horrible, feeling unloved, and basically FEELING constantly.  Your hormones are going haywire, and you honestly do not process things the way you do as a child, or an adult.  Little issues become major, minor embarrassment becomes end of the world mortifying, and basically any normal emotion is amplified by 10.  I do think counseling may help, but honestly, this is something almost every teenager goes through.  It is a part of life, and one that is also very hard on the parents.  If you could just sit back, and try to remember some of the dumb things you did, the crazy things you thought, or just what it really felt like to be that age, it may help you cope. 

FooLynRoo
by on Mar. 24, 2012 at 12:07 AM

She's bluffing - she's doing it because she knows it stings you to say it.

You ignore it - if she keeps it  up - then don't say a word just take her in to see her doctor and tell him (or her) in front of your child that you are concerned because on xyz she has threatened to kill herself.

Trust me- being under the questioning of her doctor will embarass her and make her realize its not joke.


mommy10811
by on Mar. 24, 2012 at 12:11 AM

i would get her some help and i wouldtake her to her friends parents house the friend she lost so they can tell her what they are feeling and how its not laughing matter i tryed to kill my self when i was 15 and im lucky im alive now i have a wonderful daughter and husband no matter if she dose try it or dosent she needs help im sorry u gotta deal with it im lucky to have a mom the stayed strong and knew i was gonna get throught whatever was going on with me one day she will thanks u with everystar in the sky

dirtyred962
by on Mar. 24, 2012 at 12:17 AM
First talk to her .. just pry on it !
krayzbabylove
by on Mar. 24, 2012 at 3:00 AM

If my dd said that, she would go straight to the therapist... and we would also be in family counseling. I dont mess with that shit.

gabrielleg
by on Mar. 24, 2012 at 3:14 AM

If she doesnt like talking to you just becuase she's at that age where she rebels against her mom. I would take her to a councler or therapist just to have someone she can talk to and open up and get an out side view from someone in a neutral position and help her realize certain things are not meant to be said and what she should aim for in a realationship with you. Sometimes a new ear can ease your DD to open up and actually listen. I know when I was 13 I did try to kill myself but I didnt tell anyone a teacher at school noticed I was different and had me go to the councler during her class for a few weeks and then the counceler weeks later after I opened up about killing myself told my family and they then took me to a therapist to talk it out. Everyone is different but all teenagers are going through the same thing growing up and everyone handles it differently even if others dont like it it happens and as a parent its our job to make sure it doesnt happen again. (like you DD friend from school)

shelleyragsdale
by on Mar. 24, 2012 at 3:50 AM

I can not believe you let her keep her report card away from you...Why does she have so much control in your household???  I would absolutely get her into counseling asap, you never know with children and you dont want anything to happen you would feel sorry for later.  Problem I see is if she has so much control in the family will she even go to counseling???She will probably give you a really hard timeabout even going.  Best of luck to you and God Bless...

atlmom2
by Susie on Mar. 24, 2012 at 7:41 AM

Maybe I was different but I never felt unloved or suicidal and I wouldn't dare do some of the things this girl is doing.  Hell no, I wouldn't keep my report card from my parents because that behavior wouldn't be tolerated.  My parents didn't beat me or treat me like crap either.  I don't remember sweating the small stuff either.  I wasn't in contol of the house either.  My parents were.  That is what parents do. 

Quoting Cukimonster:

I sometimes wonder if other adults do really remember what it was like to be a teenager.  I remember feeling horrible, feeling unloved, and basically FEELING constantly.  Your hormones are going haywire, and you honestly do not process things the way you do as a child, or an adult.  Little issues become major, minor embarrassment becomes end of the world mortifying, and basically any normal emotion is amplified by 10.  I do think counseling may help, but honestly, this is something almost every teenager goes through.  It is a part of life, and one that is also very hard on the parents.  If you could just sit back, and try to remember some of the dumb things you did, the crazy things you thought, or just what it really felt like to be that age, it may help you cope. 


Come join me at The Duggars Debate, The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

unknownstar
by on Mar. 24, 2012 at 7:43 AM


Quoting 02nana07:

 I would take her to see someone it is always better safe than sorry group hug

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
motherduck22
by on Mar. 24, 2012 at 7:44 AM

Been here done this my adopted brother used to do that all the time when he didn't get his way. Call her on her bluff, Contatct the state police and have her committed to the Mental Health ward, that will more then likely teach her not to use those words so lightly..

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