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13 yr old dd threatens suicide when mad

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I could really use your help. Last night my 13 yr dd and I had a disagreement over TV and her report card. She's not supposed to watch TV on school nights. I have cable blocked on school nights - so now she tapes shows and watches them. Her report card came in the mail 2 nights ago. She has it and won't let me see it. After attempted discussions last night from which she just walked away, I told her she lost her phone/text for a week. Her immediate response - 'this is why I hate living here and want to kill myself.' - and then walked away.

I think she is bluffing, and is saying this to get a reaction. It has happened just once before. But of course I cannot be 100% certain. She has no other suicidal signs. Point to note: a school friend of hers died last year from the hanging game (choked herself).

Dd has been openly defiant to me in other ways. I don't like the direction I am seeing.

What do I do? Do I take her to counseling because 1) she might be suicidal, or 2) if she isn't, her suicidal threats are not approprirate. Or do I let this incident pass?

I tried to talk to her again last night and now she won't talk to me. I turned off her phone to follow through on my threat.



by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 9:05 AM
Replies (41-50):
by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 6:57 AM
Put her in a psych ward.
by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 7:21 AM

I told my dad that when I was young.  I was really mad and didn't know how to handle my anger.  I was like 9 or 10 at the time.  I was also in counseling.  You may want to take her to see someone, it can't hurt.

by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 7:26 AM
1 mom liked this

 straight up! 'she wont let me'. She wont LET you?! No wonder she is so defiant! Good grief. And if she wants to trhow tantrums like a 5 year old, treat her like one, bend her over and beat her ass, then ground her for 2 months for saying that shit. Sheesh!

Quoting 2teens2LOs:

call the school to get the grades- and what do you mean she wouldn't let you see the report card- your the parent TAKE it!


by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 8:00 AM

dude, take her to a psychiatrist. because she might really need help, and if she's bluffing - having to go sit in front of a psych might make her clean up her act. because it would be xtremely awkaward.

by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 8:04 AM

I dont discount anything when it comes to teenagers. Sometimes its impossible to gauge the truthfulness and sincerity of their threats. However, I think you are a victim of good ole fashioned teen angst. They know how to push buttons and pull on heart strings. They want freedom without responsibility. They test boundaries and patience. The key is remaining consistent and it sounds like you are. The best advice I can give to any parents, especially parents of teens, is this.....,do not debate the rules with your child. Dont let them drag you into their tantrums and drama. They dont have to like the rules but they do have to follow them. If you child doesnt like the rules, that is ok. You dont have to make her like them. Dont let her get you into these emotional battles. You have to say this is how its going to be  and it is going to stay as such. When her tantrums and threats no longer affect you to her satisfaction, she will move on to other ways of trying to manipulate the outcome. 

by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 8:12 AM

Show her how serious it is to threaten that shit. Take her to the mental hospital!

by Trisha on Mar. 23, 2012 at 8:25 AM

I agree with this.  What was your reaction when she said that about killing herself?

Quoting atlmom2:

Get her counseling.  She needs to know its not ok to react that way.  I would call the school and pick up another copy of her report card.  She wouldn't be doing anything or having anything thought until she she gave it to me.  She is being awfully defiant and needs to know she cannot behave that way.  Did this just start or has she been this way always?

by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 8:29 AM

My friend used to do that. Her mom checked her into a facility. They put her on a suicide watch it was enough that my friend never said that again.

If she is not bluffing then the counseling will help her if she is joking then she will see real fast suicide is nothing to joke about.

by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 8:50 AM

I told my parents I was going to kill myself a thousand times, heck, I still say things like "If I have to clean the living room one more time I am going to kill myself."

I think if she is being a normal teen pissed at her parents then you've got nothing to worry about, but if she has no friends or is in a huge fight with them or she is constantly upset and distant. If she doesn't smile much or is depressed, it won't hurt her to get her seen. If she is just a normal teen, she'll learn not to say she is going to kill herself anymore, that's for sure.

"I told my mom I was going to kill myself when she grounded me and she sent me to a therapist!"

by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 8:54 AM

It sounds to me that she needs a good spanking , my kids r 16 , 14 , 11  and I always tell them I gave birth to them not the other way around . I am the parent . NOT YOU . and also Proverbs 13 : 24 , is my verse I give the kids.

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