13 yr old dd threatens suicide when mad

[Sandsam]

I could really use your help. Last night my 13 yr dd and I had a disagreement over TV and her report card. She's not supposed to watch TV on school nights. I have cable blocked on school nights - so now she tapes shows and watches them. Her report card came in the mail 2 nights ago. She has it and won't let me see it. After attempted discussions last night from which she just walked away, I told her she lost her phone/text for a week. Her immediate response - 'this is why I hate living here and want to kill myself.' - and then walked away.

I think she is bluffing, and is saying this to get a reaction. It has happened just once before. But of course I cannot be 100% certain. She has no other suicidal signs. Point to note: a school friend of hers died last year from the hanging game (choked herself).

Dd has been openly defiant to me in other ways. I don't like the direction I am seeing.

What do I do? Do I take her to counseling because 1) she might be suicidal, or 2) if she isn't, her suicidal threats are not approprirate. Or do I let this incident pass?

I tried to talk to her again last night and now she won't talk to me. I turned off her phone to follow through on my threat.

 

 

[aviatioNation]

Please take her to a counselor ASAP! I made those same threats as a teen and everyone thought I was just bluffing until I actually tried to kill myself. Some people like to claim that those who talk about suicide won't do it, but that's just not true. Please get her help before she follows through on her threats.

[charlotsomtimes]

Quoting mommy2alissa:

 straight up! 'she wont let me'. She wont LET you?! No wonder she is so defiant! Good grief. And if she wants to trhow tantrums like a 5 year old, treat her like one, bend her over and beat her ass, then ground her for 2 months for saying that shit. Sheesh!

Quoting 2teens2LOs:

call the school to get the grades- and what do you mean she wouldn't let you see the report card- your the parent TAKE it!

 

You cannot be serious with that comment...REALLY?  Bend a 13 yr old over and "beat her ass"?  

WOW

[mommy2alissa]

 

Quoting charlotsomtimes:

 

Quoting mommy2alissa:

 straight up! 'she wont let me'. She wont LET you?! No wonder she is so defiant! Good grief. And if she wants to trhow tantrums like a 5 year old, treat her like one, bend her over and beat her ass, then ground her for 2 months for saying that shit. Sheesh!

Quoting 2teens2LOs:

call the school to get the grades- and what do you mean she wouldn't let you see the report card- your the parent TAKE it!

 

You cannot be serious with that comment...REALLY?  Bend a 13 yr old over and "beat her ass"?  

WOW

 I am dead serious. If she wants to act like a child and is refusing to tell her mother where the report card is, I would spank her.

[rhaztas]

These days, often you can get the grades online at "power school."  call her school and ask. 

Not sure about the suicidal sayings.  However, when I was a teen, I remember having fights with my mom/dad and saying the same thing.  Looking back it often stemmed from me being in a difficult situation I didn't know how to deal with or want to be in.  I realized that was a permananent solution to a temporary problem, though.  Maybe just bring this up to her and express that it scares you.  Ask her to not say THAT anymore.

[Melanie420]

I would kill myself to if I had those strict ass rules when I lived at home, whats the difference between watching tv on school nights or watching tv on the weekend?

[nikkikry]

Even though she is probably bluffing, I would make her see a counselor. Tell her if she's going to throw around threats like that then you have no choice. If she really is suicidal, then hopefully it will help her. If she's not, then hopefully having to see a counselor will make her not want to threaten it again. I tried to commit suicide when I was a teenager. I failed, obviously. But my Mom to this day has no idea. Just because she doesn't "seem" to have suicidal tendencies doesn't mean she isn't just hiding them from you. As far as my parents were concerned I was happy as a clam the whole time.

[atlmom2]

Many parents allow no tv or little tv on school nights.  That is good parenting to me. 

Quoting Melanie420:

I would kill myself to if I had those strict ass rules when I lived at home, whats the difference between watching tv on school nights or watching tv on the weekend?

[atlmom2]

Your a Mom of a 5 month old, not a teenager either.  You have no idea because you are not there yet. 

Quoting Melanie420:

I would kill myself to if I had those strict ass rules when I lived at home, whats the difference between watching tv on school nights or watching tv on the weekend?

[mrsdic]

tell her she belongs in therapy either way.... it's not soemthing to joke about or take lightly.  set her up an appt.

[Melanie420]

I do know cause I was a teen not to long ago and I never acted the way people think all teens act, and I was able to watch tv, nothing wrong with it at all. all the good shows are on weeknights

Quoting atlmom2:

Your a Mom of a 5 month old, not a teenager either.  You have no idea because you are not there yet. 

Quoting Melanie420:

I would kill myself to if I had those strict ass rules when I lived at home, whats the difference between watching tv on school nights or watching tv on the weekend?